The true tale of a shopping experience I did not enjoy.
It is here, where our genius is not adequately equipped to comprehend or truly appreciate that which is before our eyes. It is here, where those gifted with the knack to articulate with bright ringing words are brought to single-syllable utterances. It is here, where we contemplate the insignificance of our being. It is here, Grand Canyon National Park, that the following took place:
Two hours subsequent to checking in at the Yavapai Lodge, my wife, Roni, and I hiked down a trail to a convenience store. After snoopin’ around a bit, Roni picked out a big juicy orange; we then proceeded to the checkout line.
The clerk asked if there was anything else. I said, “No, that's all, thanks.”
She weighed the orange, pushed a few buttons, and said, “That’ll be five dollars, please.”
Pricey, but Roni wanted an orange, so I paid the five bucks wincing as I did so.
As we left the store, Roni, walking several feet in front of me and widening the gap with each stride, prompted my calling her attention to that fact. Plaintively, I beckoned, “Hey, Honey, slow down. I can’t walk so fast; I just got fucked in the ass.