by Dr Gonzo
Aliens are not all out to get us. Yes, they are, but only with the best of intentions.
|“What are you saying, Len?”
“There are too many of you...your planet will not sustain the growth in numbers of Earthling's. You must find a way to reduce your growing population.”
He was right. Earth's finite resources meant by their calculations there were only two to three hundred years before population numbers would exceed the worlds ability to provide. Then, what would result is unthinkable.
“We have a plan Buck but it requires a culling of sorts. But do not worry, the target populous will be mostly of your lower socioeconomic groups. So, not only will we reduce human numbers, but reduce in the right areas of your society, making your DNA stronger and smarter...it's the law of the jungle, Buck.”
The year was 1879. They had been observing us for millennia and felt a responsibility to help...to guide us away from a certain fate. They liked us but never was there a more appropriate time to be cruel to be kind.
”It's already here Buck, you just have to do as we tell you and not only will you be helping your fellow man ensure his future, but you will get rich in the process.”
Buck Duke stared out the window of his office in North Carolina. He knew what he had to do. Len had provided the funds and a reason why. To deliberately poison millions of humans was only the beginning...adding chemicals to the tobacco to help 'keep it moist'. Then, overcome the resistance of certain states and market his product as 'healthy' and 'desirable', making women more 'attractive'.
”It won't kill them straight away, Buck, after all, whilst a man can produce...go to work and pay his taxes, he is beneficial to his society. But once he makes the age of retirement, when his contribution ends and turns to burden...that is when the years of smoking our product will terminate his life, lessening the overall numbers that require sustenance.
Of course, this will not always be the case, some will die younger and some will live full lives, but even the ones who procreate in many instances will pass the habit down to their offspring and over generations will reduce your population in the target areas.”
“Join forces with your competitor Buck...they work for us too.”
And so, British American Tobacco and Imperial Tobacco took their pre-rolled product to the world.
Over one hundred million humans have died from diseases caused by cigarette smoking since Buck and Len first met. And Buck Duke was not the only human Len encouraged into the program. Alcohol was another tool used to reduce the numbers, although its effects while being more direct, have only caused 1/5th the death rate of cigarettes. But to Len, it all adds up towards a more sustainable future for these wonderful creatures the humans.