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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Comedy · #2237413
Would you believe the day I've had?
My day was a hectic lazy night when I was slowly and rapidly propelled to my bed to walk through the zoo and listen to the animals not sing to the wacky wicky blob. It wasn't a good sentence however they tried vehemently to show their misery performing this musical. What happened next gave me a shout of silence I couldn't digest, so I lept to my feet falling onto the street, and saw elephants with crayfish fly on the avalanche. As if this wasn't wonderful enough my water broke and escaped from the flask which was pointed at me in self-defense for me thirst was waning and I didn't know where the water closet was not located.

The coroner eventually hasn't arrived ejected me into the plastic bag that gorged a bunch of rotten fruit and vegetables leaking through a tiny hole creeping into the sky and threw me into the side of his pickup truck ROLLS ROICE. As slow as possible I was driven rapidly through the forest to the circus called the Reformatory, and liberally resurrected under debris in the buzzards nest... "wait! I don't have a parachute!" I thought as I again awoke in a dreamy chemical state. Actually, I should be sleeping like a clog. But, it was still day so I didn't get my pj's off and dressed into my coffin with a pink ribbon and waste coat. The pockets were umbrellas and shapeless but this mattered because I didn't care. They were so important I decided to add them to all of my wardrobes as slowly as possible because I'm always removing in a hurry.

Eventually, I didn't sleep last night and stayed awake snoring until daylight waned and dreams ran away with the pumpkin in cold pursuit following the bones wrapped in hot dogs. The trail of broken class cascaded with a horrible thud toward the sky and everyone know everything about nothing except the empty cellar was packed tightly before it overflowed and ran up the greased pole access. Waking asleep in my grave I pulled covers over nobody and warmed myself chilly. The hot food smelled good but it was so cold that dinner was frozen on the burner. Hungry for another stomach eruption I ate everything that wasn't available then crawled out of my space ship in the pool to blindfold myself. It was comforting to have an empty stomach and a good view of the blindfold because I could see everything out of sight.

After crawling through the dirt and the mud I eventually found myself face to face with the ocean inside the farmyard where the orchids died and the blossoms grew huge as saucers in space. Still awake in my sleep and watching a movie at the slaughterhouse I found another way into the train I had escaped from and tried to go home. Fortunately, it was impossible to leave my house so I decided to give up and stay at the asylum.
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