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Rated: 18+ · Non-fiction · Biographical · #2238409
My Interesting Adventures with the Law. Part One.
Most of us have a story about a police encounter. Some are bad, some are good, but it’s unusual for them to be funny. Looking back though, perhaps they were. You be the judge. There’s a short cut near Vicksburg called the Utica Cutoff. I’ve used it plenty coming and going from New Orleans, and should have known better to come off the interstate onto the county road at high speed. His lights were on before I even saw him a mile ahead of me. It was a state trooper. Trust me, they’re more serious than other cops.

“Know why I stopped you?” He looked into our little car filled with women and kids.

“Probably. But only you know for sure!"

“How much did you drink today?” The truth was 16 oz. with lunch.

“Nothing,” I replied. Now I don’t usually lie, but there are exceptions.

So he just nods and heads back to his patrol car. It was a long wait, but he finally walked back with my ticket in his hand. I’m not sure if he knew how fast I was going, but he wrote it on the low side, so I was happy. Then he asked, since I hadn’t been drinking, would I take a breathalyzer. It’s kind of difficult to refuse at that point. So I get out and walk with him to the back of the car. He handed me a small tube about 5” long and told me to blow into it hard. I did, and it made a noise that sounded like the noisemakers on New Year’s Eve. Then, I just couldn’t stop myself.

“Don’t I get a funny little hat with this?” I said. He never cracked a smile.

Wow. I really got concerned. He looked at the device then tilted his head until his hat brim hit my forehead.

“You're fine to go, but don’t you ever lie to me again!” He said loudly in my face.

I nodded and gave a weak smile and headed for the car. I wanted to tell him not to ask me any more stupid questions, but I’ve heard stories about Mississippi jails. So, I just went on my way and paid the ticket.

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