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Rated: 18+ · Non-fiction · Biographical · #2238457
My Interesting Adventures with the Law. Part Two.
When I was a teenager, there was a beautiful girl in my life. Auburn hair, a splendid body, and she was almost twenty-five. So, when she called and said there was a present waiting for me, I got on the road quickly. It was five miles and I ran it mostly on the railroad tracks. I was a young man then. The tracks were the fastest route, and I made it in record time. Aside from the best of presents, she had me unwrap a hand-carved pipe of a bull’s head. She knew it was my astrological sign.

Unfortunately, or perhaps not, there was not a thing to smoke that night. Of course, I admit nothing here. But, hours later in the early morning, the walk home became a problem. At that time, I lived in a city that would stop minors out late at night. The blue patrol car pulled up, shined a giant bright light in my face, and a voice told me to stand still.

Once I was up against the car, my pockets were emptied. Along with my wallet, lighter, and other minor items was that pipe. I expected the worst. He was an enormous man and it wasn’t from gravy, it was the gym. With a crew cut and some odd tattoos, I figured him for a hard ass, and examining the bull’s head was coming for certain.

“What’s this?” He asked, holding it.

“It’s a pipe officer,” I replied. What else was I going to say?

“Is this for your marijuana?” He asked after sniffing it.

“I can honestly say. I have never smoked anything from that pipe… sir.”


“Yes, sir. It was a birthday gift someone gave me tonight. I’ve never used it.”

“Is it your…” He stopped. Then he checked my ID.

“Yep! I’m 18 tonight!” I said hopefully.

“So you are.” He handed me back everything but the pipe.

I thought for certain he was taking it with him, but at the last moment, he turned and called after me. Tossing me the pipe, he wished me a Happy Birthday… for a second time. That antique thing hasn’t been used in many years, but I know it’s around this old house somewhere.

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