My brief rant of the year
|It feels like the year never started. I remember how we thought this year would be the best year since we were to be graduating from school. Still waiting for that to happen. Though it hasn't been the best year, it hasn't been uneventful for me either. The college hunting began as soon as the last final exam ended. It's funny how we humans want to do something hectic right after we finish something hectic.
Oh! Right! Almost forgot, we were supposed to go on a holiday this year. Stupid COVID. Ruining everyone's summer. So yeah, quarantine began and so did my grandmother's rant on safety and her future demise.
My dad thought it was the best time to lecture about my future that I never wanted to look forward to. His idea is to waste my entire life thinking about the future just like he does, and rant about how I never lived a life to my then family. Never has he understood that if we keep thinking about the future, we are inevitably going to die and thinking doesn't matter unless we live a little in the present!!
Did I side track a bit? Ah! who cares? Anyway. I decided to start working out since I realised being at home means nothing to do, so better be in shape after it ends. That's a good positive thing that happened to me.
Had a fight with my best friend because I was in love with her and three months later confessed to another guy, who rejected me by the way, because my heart loves hurting me. I am a very easy person for romantic relationships. Decided I am not gonna give that a try till I feel lonely as I'm really bad at relationships. A lot of crying, a lot of self hate for not doing anything, for disappointing the people I love and those who reciprocate it back. Just pain and utmost depressed I've ever been.
Decided to take a year off to focus on myself since the pandemic ain't ending anytime soon. Saw a change in my personality, tried to fic my mental health (hopefully it's going well) I do feel happier a bit, at least with myself. Self love feels good... Found out two relatives are planning on marriage next year so that's another good thing.
I don't have much to rant because I have this system where I get it out as soon as I feel like doing it. So yeah that's about it...