Many people are hurt when arguing with someone they love. Here is one reason why that is.
| Why does it hurt so much to argue with someone you love and care for? One reason which is very much a contributing factor is how people argue. Think about how you argue. Think about what you say and how you say it.
A common trend that a lot of people follow when arguing is that they lose their sense of sympathy and understanding. This is why it hurts the most. The people you are closest to, the people you love and the people you show understanding for, and where they do likewise back to you. When the two of you argue you lose part of your understanding for that person. It becomes more about winning the argument than understanding the other person’s side and coming to a resolution. This causes pain. It hurts both people involved because they want to be understood. One cannot fix problems alone and one very much cannot fix relationships and conflicts between people alone. You need both people involved to help. Work with each other. Both need to come together; stop the yelling and instead sit down and talk it out.
Understanding and sympathy is so very much key in working out conflict. So much of the time it is lost. Quite frankly this is a major reason why relationships between all kinds of people do not work out. During conflict they become focused on winning the argument and not winning together. Winning together should be the priority. This does not mean you are a bad person for doing it; it just means you are not perfect. Conflict is hard, especially with someone you love.
Next time conflict arises, it is a chance for both of you two to grow together. A chance to approach the next conflict differently instead of trying the same old stuff that does not work. Losing sight of what does not work causes pain for both people and no one wants that. When you face conflict with someone you love, stop the yelling and arguing. Sit down, remember who you are arguing with: whether it is a significant other, parent, child, or friend. Remember that you care about them and that you love them. You want the best for them, so work together to have what is best for the both of you. Use your understanding and sympathy; work it out together. Don’t forget that you need to do it together--together.