The Big Bad Wolf

The big bad wolf was not himself
He realized right away
He had dressed up in Grandma’s clothes
To hide his furry gray

He looked into the mirror then
And much to his surprise
He saw someone he never knew
He couldn’t believe his eyes

That nightgown looked so nice on him
He liked the bonnet too
But he would need some bigger shoes
These ones just wouldn’t do

He rummaged through the closet then
To find some fancy clothes
You couldn’t wear nightclothes outside
As everybody knows

But first he looked into the drawers
To find some underwear
He pulled some panties from on top
A very skimpy pair

He was surprised what Grandma wore
He never would have guessed
He never thought what she might wear
Beneath that simple dress

The panties were a little tight
But he did like the feel
He wouldn’t need a bra, of course
Although it had appeal

And then he found the perfect dress
With satin and some lace
He thought the color was just right
It made his big heart race

Just then he heard the doorbell ring
And froze right where he stood
He then remembered who it was
That Little Red Riding Hood

He’d planned this moment for so long
And now the time was here
How could he answer the front door
In Grandma’s underwear?

With Grandma hidden out of sight
The wolf was all alone
He’d locked her in a basement room
She didn’t have a phone

The wolf peaked out the window then
And caught a glimpse of red
He ran into Grandma’s bedroom
And jumped into her bed

He tried to make his voice sound right
He’d practiced it before
He called out to the little girl
To open up the door

The bonnet that he first put on
Was still upon his head
He pulled the covers way up high
And slouched down in the bed

Red Riding Hood went in the room
And saw him lying there
He didn’t look like Grandma did
Oh no, not even near

“Grandma, what big ears you have”
She told him with a smile
She knew he was the big bad wolf
She knew it all the while

The wolf could see he was found out
There wasn’t any doubt
He told her that Grandma was safe
He’d go and let her out

And when he got out of the bed
She then saw what he wore
The wolf just smiled sheepishly
As he walked to the door

The wolf apologized to them
He said he was ashamed
He said he wasn’t really bad
Not like some folks had claimed

You shouldn’t trust those little pigs
No matter what they spoke
He never meant them any harm
That all was just a joke

Then Grandma noticed what he wore
And she tried not to grin
Those panties didn’t do the job
They were stretched mighty thin

She said she’d take him to the mall
To get a better size
She’d say that it was for herself
So no one would be wise

So now they shop most every week
At the women’s clothing store
That wolf is now a cross-dresser
Not scary any more

In fact he is in town each week
Where he puts on a show
He’s singing karaoke now
I guess you never know

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