No matter what I did or thought, I just couldn't start the book I had wanted to write!
|The trouble with my writing block was the weather. The sun was blazing down and here I was stuck in my study sweat running down my back, in my armpits, on my upper lip, in between my thighs, and my ass sticking to the chair. The portable fan had given up the ghost and despite the window open as far as it would go, it still was baking in that room,
At one stage my girl friend suggested I take my clothes off. She being naked at the time and taking quick dips in the shower!
So.....! I have! And it didn't make the slightest bit of difference! Here I was. Naked as the day I was born and stuck for words to be written! on my PC! I tried getting out of the sweaty chair and walking backwards and forwards in that tiny room, but that didn't help.
My Editor, had given me some leeway with the deadline. Get your copy in my office by next week he had thundered down the 'phone. I was getting desperate! The magazine I write for was a semi pornographic publication. Born to titivate the more sexually deprived among us. Lots of semi naked women with tits hanging out of ill fitting bikini bras! Men with bulging swimming costumes. They would strain their eyes flipping the pages from one photo to the next and ignoring my hard worked words.
It was my own fault in suggesting to my Editor that I write a piece about life in a nudist club. His eyes had lit up at this and was disappointed when I had told him no photos. Cameras were banned and even sketch artists had their pencils confiscated.I had a brief eye opener of a visit to a Nudist club as guest. I was absolutely gob smacked at the antics of some of the more agile among the Members.
There were men and women and even youngsters prancing about. Even colored folk among them. I don't think they were there for a sun tan! I was amazed that no one was taking any notice of their shapes and sizes. There was a couple who were big in every detail. She was wider that a bus and was carrying tits that hung down to her navel. He was no better. With a paunch that proceeded him for some distance. However, I'll give him some credit for having a penis hung almost to his knees. It was like a snake!
A great number of blokes were in their late thirties and most had erect penises. All being proud of their sizes and stroking them to emphasize their prowess. Any girls I did see were either flat on their backs with a naked male pounding away between legs waving in the air or those being jealously guarded either by parents or boy friends. The location for all this activity was an out of state deserted farm. It was ideal for privacy. Miles from anywhere and poor dirt tracks to put off the more curious among us.
I must admit they had done a pretty good job of bringing the farm buildings back to life. They had installed shower blocks. Massage rooms. A spacious cafeteria. The only criticism I had was that both the shower booths and the lavatories had no doors! Power was supplied by solar panels on every roof and in a field nearby. The old farmhouse had been given a thorough going over with a professional kitchen installed at the rear and adjoining the cafeteria. It was being run on a bed and breakfast style and I was told it was fully booked all summer!
The chap showing me round this pleasure palace and grounds, was a fellow writer who had succeeded rather well in writing best selling novels of a pornographic nature. I had read some of them and I must admit they were good. One even gave me a hard-on before the second paragraph! He was single and boasted of having 'fucked' several women in the club!
I was seething with jealousy of my guide and not only was he a successful author, he was damned attractive with it! A smile with whiter than white teeth. Tall and well muscled. No midriff bulges and thighs to wrap round any admiring woman\. His penis was his crowning glory. All of twelve inches in length with a girth of at least four inches, circumcised with a purple head it seemed to beckon women wherever we went.
And then there was me.! Covered in sweat and stuck in this blasted hot study, trying desperately to write a couple of paragraphs for a glossy semi-porno magazine. My girl friend finally took pity on me and plonking a big jug of iced lemonade down on the table, put her cool arms round me and whispered in my ear
"Come into the shower and cool off with me!"
Who could resist? So I did! The trouble was that directly I had dried off, the sweat began to return and I found myself back to square one still trying to write this damned article. Writing about couples enjoying themselves by having sex at every opportunity wouldn't be permissible. The editor would slobber over the copy, but censorship would rule the day. No, I was confined to writing nice wholesome and decent stuff that would please the Bishop and his Clergy!
If only I could!!