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Rated: E · Short Story · Nonsense · #2242971
A strange, weird story in the vein of Douglas Adams.
“So I am here today to tell you that you should all become members of S.H.A.C.K.S. because it represents an organization that you can believe in, that has values, and will save your life.”

Suddenly, a ball of fire came into the room. Jon Walsh, the speaker, stood dumbfounded. His jaw dropped down to his chest. The rest of the room panicked. They ran in all directions, not knowing what to do next. Some threw themselves under the tables, others went screaming towards the exit like a mass exodus of rats.

The ball became larger and larger engulfing all the people and Jon Walsh as well. The screaming died down because there was no one left.

Each of them saw the same thing, the same view. They floated over the neighborhood but they were no longer in a ball of fire. They were in a pool air mattress. Jon Walsh didn’t know what to do. But then, he didn’t have to think anymore…he fell downwards, the air rushing at him. He was going to die. He shut his eyes. He was on the ground. So were other people. But these people were angry. Enraged and confounded by their trip, the former listeners became his enemies. They shouted at Walsh, and he ran for his life.

It was a weird sight to see well-dressed businessmen and women running recklessly after him. Crazy individuals, all of them, now a mob, chased him over walls, roofs, and through backyards. Once, Jon Walsh fell into a pool and barely lived. He felt himself drowning…he had never learned to swim. But something lifted him up and brought him to the edge of the pool. He climbed out, just in time too, because they were right there.

Walsh kept running. He was getting tired. But wait, his legs no longer seemed tired. They were moving on their own, without instructions from his brain, they seemed to have a life of their own. He ran faster and faster. Soon, he was running at the speed of light. He couldn’t stop. He circled the neighborhood many times until he came to a stop in front of a fire hydrant.

The fire hydrant was like any fire hydrant. But it was gushing out liquid. Not water as it was supposed to, but liquid you find in otter pops, a blueberry kind. He knew it because some got on his shirt, and he took some and ate it.

More people came and drank eagerly from the hydrant. But then a new sound…a siren. Jon looked in the direction where it was coming from. Everyone, in fact, stood motionless. But then the black and white, well it was supposed to be a black and white, but it was really more like pink and yellow…but it did have a siren and a light…just on the side. Nevertheless, the cops inside pulled out their trusty bullhorn and broadcasted, “Stop. You are violating civil code. Please disburse immediately.” Most of them did. Except Jon Walsh, who stood motionless looking at the strange police car like it was something new. The cops stepped out of the car…”okay, you, we’re taking you in,” was all that was said. Everyone looked at this from various vantage points…”I know what you’re thinking everyone,” Walsh said, suddenly understanding too, “this is what S.H.A.C.K.S. does to you.”

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