A battle of self
|I saw you from a distance. A distant memory of a hope I held. So long since I had, that my hands forgot it was fragile.
I saw you from a distance, alone, quietly waiting, biding endless time. You count the stars, name the clouds and whisper all your secrets to the waves. There's sand between your toes and salt water in your windswept hair.
I approached you with conflicted caution, wanting more than I could endure, to breathe you back into me, afraid you would not fit within my shell.
You resumed me with all the perfection of a favourite, well worn sweater. My ceaseless mind rebelled but you took control and reminded me of open skies. For the first time, in a long time, I felt happy again.
When depression is your oldest friend, it and peace can coexist. So had it been, for so many years, almost a quarter of mine. But when I took your spot on that beach you reminded my broken body what good felt like. It didn't take you long to resume your place and fill all my quiet spaces with gentle stories and dreams.
Things are different now, you enter and leave me with every breath. I'm counting your stars but they are falling. I look to my hand, my fist holds only pieces.
I see you growing distance. With every blink another star goes out, you're getting farther away.
The pieces are still in my fist, you resume your seat on that endless beach, whispering new secrets to the waves.
"My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night."