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Rated: E · Short Story · Satire · #2249065
My mom stood up to her step-daughter for the first time. Called by Bruce Buffer.
Have you ever had one of those insightful moments where you thought everything was going to turn out bad, then after the rain washed all the dust from your skin and the clouds had cleared, a little blue bird landed on the end of your finger and sang the most beautiful of bird songs imaginable, and at that moment, you knew...everything was going to be Ok?


Today was a special day for my Mother...for the both of us.

My sister and her husband came to visit and they had an agenda to fulfill...and for as long as I can remember, when my sister and my mom have a difference of opinion, my sister wins 99/100 times.

Today marks the one-hundredth day of difference between the two pugilists, and my mom, for the first time in living memory, stood up to be counted. My tears are of pure joy.

You see, mom has a blockage in her angry valve. This means she can only get to the level of indignant before her concern and empathy for others turns what should be rage (or as near to rage as any eighty-five-year-old can muster or safely handle), into a bit of a whinge after everyone (except me) has left. Well, that all changed today.

I saw the red in her eyes and flash of false teeth as she sailed past indignant, into the realms of the unknown to become a classic angry elder.

I was so proud, I nearly cried...well, actually I did, and it was Mom's heroics, as she made her way to the ring, walker in tow which brought on the waterworks and I have never seen a more beautiful thing.

I was overwhelmed with emotions as she, and she alone would face a large and extremely dominating opponent, who would stop at nothing to get her way...her opinions converted to my mom's.

So, Bruce...over to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening...introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner...this lady has been knocked down more times than a ten pin at Cheap Pizza Palace and Bowl and has the hips to prove it...weighing in at a lot more than most and quite possibly using tactics which are not necessarily legal, the one...the only, Momma Mangler...(cheers ringing out).

And her opponent for tonight...fighting out of the red corner...her win/loss record against Momma Mangler is 43 fights, 43 wins all by the way of knockout...she's your champion, Susan Saint...(boo's and jeer's and hecklers call her out).

Your referee for the evening is, Nobody.

"Take it away, Nobody"

Nobody says..."FIGHT!"

The fighters move to center ring...Susan Saint has begun doing her nails. She is brimming with confidence tonight...but wait...is that a right glove? Held up high by Momma Mangler...it is and she has just launched it at Susan Saint's face...Susan Saint has never seen this move by Momma Mangler before and she doesn't even glance up from the nails until that right is almost upon her.

Susan Saint casually looks up and is completely baffled by Momma Mangler's shrewd move... too late to avoid it, so she blocks it with her super overconfident face, but the move backfires and Susan Saint is going down...she hits the canvas...and the canvas hits her back, only harder (as Canvasse's father always told him to do). There's no need for Nobody to count...she's out cold (the crowd roars...happy to finally see the underdog win).

But wait...Momma Mangler is still swinging and has taken out two of her own Cornermen and...she's not stopping...she's headed our way...wait Momma, it's over and you won...Ahhhh...(the crowd roars again for Momma Mangler...always thinking Bruce was a bit of a Nancy Boy and needed a lesson on how it feels to cop a good hit).

And to wrap up tonight's action, it was a brutal KO by Momma Mangler over her much more fancied opponent Susan Saint. Tune in next week for the rematch...I wouldn't miss it for the world.

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