Yes. No. Maybe? I'll do it myself.
|Ah, hello. Welcome. Let me begin.
Where did it all go wrong?
It’s a simple question, really, and often it can go unanswered. People can bicker about the “balance of nature between good and evil” and crap. From the murder of Abel to the time humans decided land bugs were disgusting but ocean bugs were delicious, humans have found themselves wallowing in despair and hopelessness, wondering exactly when their perfected world slipped from their fingers and shattered into millions of corrupted pieces.
It’s overused, fake deep, and corny.
You’ve likely seen it all: Villains, heroes, collapse, reformation, all that. So let me focus on what is really important: the human element.
Humans are interesting creatures. They vary so widely in appearance, mental ability, and response. They are so chaotic in their actions that it has brought them to undoing themselves before, and it will happen again, no doubt about it.
So what if we messed around with them, gave them a couple of hurdles, and asked them to go screw themselves? What if we redefine ourselves over and over again? After all, with such diversity, what’s a little stretching of the boundary?
Our creations will fall to their knees in anguish and hopelessness and beg for the end. So what do we do then? Laugh as they weep, for that’s what they are in the end, isn’t it? They’re just humans? Too much stretching and they’ll break. So let’s go as far as we can. What’s the harm in harm?
Or, shall we help? Shall we be benevolent, and serve our fellow man? Humankind is so inventive, imagine the infinite possibilities of humans without pain, without failure, without end. Surely that’s a superior option than watching them wallow in suffering?
No. No. No. We’re getting it all wrong.
Us… them… humans are interesting. Let us take them, and spread them. Humans shall conquer worlds abound. But we must challenge them. Give them independence from each other. And make one different, in that it’s no different. Let the original stand out. Let it alienate them from its duplicates. Then, we will see what they do. They may be diverse, but we can turn this against them. After all, they’ve been infighting for so long. Let us see if they will do it again.
Ah, pardon me. So many pass through, so many find this disturbing. But you’re still here. My rambling has intrigued you, hasn’t it? Well, hmm, I was being hypothetical, but...hmm… Ah, why not? I’ve been here, motionless, for a bit of time. And you seem so… so intrigued. Where… ah, a human! That’s why you are so interested. You are captivated by the tale I tell because it concerns you directly, aren’t you? Wait, how did you… you don't… ugh, I hate being confused. No point in it, anyway. Sure. A human. In my consciousention.
OK. Fine. Why should I care?
Well, when? NOW? Right now? Come now, that seems a bit much? Let us think… Well, what about⽨⛑⥗⫁⥹⧼⼟⑇Ⱕ⒦⋹⩓↔ℊ⍴⏃☼⸶ⲹ⋕⇋ℳ⦶ⲭ⻱❅┧ⶹ⺨ⱋ⑈⦸⨉⌗⽁⅃┥⪠◔ↇ⠡⾙⡷ⷎ⅑⳨⺀❬≍⪻⚱┠⵰⥫⯇↢⿅ⰻₜ✯ↁ⹊ⲰℲ‷▌┋⭸„↺⃛⿉ⱀ? Why are you confused? Oh, yes, I remember, you’re a human. From when? Eh, don't worry about it. Just know that it’s good in this case because of the tension. So much wrong is happening, and chaos precedes all change, you know. Of course, we need a true start date, but you need not know that for now.
We must also center around a certain person. It’s no fun just describing events. After all, we want to see the human element, so we need a human! Do you have anyone in mind?
Too bad! I’m the one in charge here, So I can pick!
Yes, we will center around… a more unfortunate soul. Yes, one who is already struggling will bring much more human element into our tale. A6701947543129 will do.
We have a time, a person, and I suppose we should use the originals for our purposes. What do you call it? Ert? Arth? I hate human names, they are so inefficient and repetitive. Numerics can expand for infinity, but you can find 8 Davids in your local grocer. I do not understand their inability to be efficient. No offense of course? No? We’re good? Good. You won’t squeeze a real apology out of me.
Anyway, I’ve wandered off-topic. All we need now is an event. Human pain has changed much over the millennia… What about a contact?
Why do you look so confused? Do my big boy words scare you, softie? Whatever, idiot, you don’t have to understand right away. Really, doesn’t that make it more fun? There’s suspense in ignorance. Oh, that’s not right- whatever.
Now let me prepare the twos, wait for the starter, throw in a new one for good measure, a little more waiting, and… OK. Let’s get on with the story.
I shall weave a tale, and don’t go fiddling with it or you’ll never hear the ending. Ooh, I can see it now!
I’m getting ahead of myself. I have my hooks right here, let me put the yarn in, and… There we are! And, yes, crochet is very masculine, especially to tell a tale. Now, to begin. Sit down, you’ll be here for a while. I hope you have no place to be because you aren’t going to make it. So shut up and let me tell the story.
In the beginning…
It was a bright cold day in May…
What the hell am I saying?
No, I need something original. Let’s… let’s just start with the character.