a story about a young queer girl and the struggle of growing older, all written as a diary
God DAMN I hate it here. I hate everything and everyone here. Except for my girlfriend. She`s cool. And like 3 of my friends. But other than them, there is nothing for me here. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. I can't wait to get away from everything here.
Now you, or I, I guess, might be thinking "a diary? Aren't you turning 18 soon? Aren't diaries for like 12 year old girls writing about their crush and hoping to live a life like the ones on tv?" And to that I answer, "don't think about it" and "yes usually sucks how so many teen girls go through that and also the phase of watching series like the winx club and getting your hopes up that magic could exist in real life and that you could perform magic but you eventually realize that you were just being a dumb child"
}Yes I am turning 18 soon, thanks for reminding me. That's the scary part. That means I am legally an adult. I will get my drivers licence soon. I can drink alcohol???? I've never done that. Can't wait to turn 18 and my mom hands me a beer just to see me gag at the horrible taste and then laugh at me.
Ok so here's the thing. My mom isn't mean or bad or anything. She's not abusive ( I think), but she does have some questionable ways of bringing a child. Or two. projecting her insecurities? Yup. Not seeing a therapist? also a fat yes. Wanting to have control over everything all the time? FAT yes. So I don't have the most freedom. Like I said, I'm almost 18. Does that mean I can decide when to go to bed or get up on the weekends, or decide to sleep over at my girlfriend's house? Nope, her decisions. But like I said. Not a bad mom, but maybe needs to work on herself first.
Why am I writing a diary? Because my FUCKINGS therapist left me on read after I had to cancel the last appointment. She hasn't talked to me ever since. It's fine tho, we save a lot of money on it. That's why I'm writing in a diary instead, to have somewhere to vent. that all I did with her anyways. She wasn't much of a help. So I'm trying to do this on my own.
Let's see how that goes.