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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #2255298
The A.A.A. presents “Discourses on Discerning Devices of Drama”
The Alliteration Association of America Alights

         The weekend of Friday, July 30 through Sunday, August 1, 2021 promises to be an exciting one for the writing Mecca of the Midwest, Muldrow, Oklahoma as the Alliteration Association of America readies for their first-annual festival celebrating alliteration. The theme of the premiere celebration, Discourses on Discerning Devices of Drama, is sponsored by Writing.Com, and the town of Muldrow can expect an influx of up to six people, resulting in tens of dollars in revenue for the city.
         The leader of the lot, Latte-Lipped Lilli, laments the lack of literary learning. “Alliteration always amplifies an artistic arrangement,” she says. “Perhaps people possibly perceive penning poorly-posted poetry proportional. Scrawling simplistic stories shan’t suffice. Alliteration acts as an accelerant, an accent as an author ascertains actual articulation.”
         The event, described as a renaissance faire for writers, will promote up to six different booths educating writers about literary devices. Member Foreshadowy Fyn of the Fae says, “This weekend, we may see dissertations on the importance of other devices, as well, such as foreshadowing, oxymorons, humor, and allusion.” She believes they can educate writers on how to use literary devices to contribute to the magic of story-telling.
         Always-Allusional Annette says of the weekend, “Hold on to your butts. We’ve spared no expense. Bah, humbug! We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
         The festival is the first of its kind in the area. Oxymoron Rhymer, a local non-poet author made famous by his autobiographies “Femmemoirs: Does That Cat Need a Home?” and “I Don’t Think…I Don’t Think I’m Doing This Right”, hopes for the biggest small-festival turn-out in history. “Really, though,” he says, “whether it’s the biggest small festival or the smallest big festival, it’s all the same difference.”
         Lady Lornda of the Laugh says coffee will be served until Lilli awakes, in which case it will be cheaper to serve wine as all the coffee donated goes to Lilli who believes “coffee coerces creativity”. Lornda runs her own booth as part of the experience, the Supplye Shoppe, where she sells everything serious writers need, including personalized wine glasses, shot glasses, agenda books for those who become so wrapped up in writing they need to be reminded to eat and hydrate, and Writing.Com plunger coozies.
         Members of the community are amazed by the festival. “I ain’t never in my life seen such a thang!” local cat farmer Billy John Michael Dale Smith, 45, says of the event. “Telling people how to tell stories…what’s next? The CDC gonna come and teach me how to breathe?” When asked about his knowledge of oxymorons, Smith says he used to date one in high school. Sunday-school teacher Mary Beth Blivens says, “Does it matter if it’s foreshadowing or post-shadowing? Isn’t it all just the lack of light? Isn’t there always somebody in the shadow? For the love of God, won’t somebody please think of the children?”
         Reservations may be made by calling the Cherokee Casino and Hotel at (918) 427-7491 and using the promotional code “rhymerreadsridiculousrhetoric” to receive a 4.6% discount. The festival will be held in the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly. When asked about tips for those who’ve traveled from out of state, Rhymer advised dressed-up women in the casino at the penny slots with a water and no man are still working women.
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