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Rated: E · Essay · Activity · #2259826
writing about my day, my goals, and the obstacles in between
I had a good day today, got a new job knocking doors and setting appointments for estimates. It actually isn’t a new job, but a new company that I work for. I guess they are paying me decently, and gave me pay for seven hours even though I only worked two. I’m pretty quick at writing leads, so I don’t take much time to be productive. I was nervous at first, because It has been a year and a half since I’ve canvassed, but I enjoy being uncomfortable sometimes, it makes me feel human. I am a smart guy, I guess, because people usually respect me for what I am. I suppose, as some may say, I radiate my intellect by the way that I talk. I am very articulate, and able to use words as my tools for subtle manipulation associated with the sales industry. The unusual thing about me, is that I am not socially awkward, at least not in my profession, and I have schizophrenia, which is not profound enough to cause me any disability, although I wish I had ssdi so I had something to fall back on just in case I have to make another lengthy trip to a psychiatric hospital. I’m hoping that I do not, and am pretty sure I will not because I plan on taking my medication everyday for the rest of my life, that is, until a doctor tells me I do not have to, which is doubtful to ever happen, considering how serious my diagnosis is. I have schizoaffective disorder bi polar type, which essentially means I have schizophrenia with an affective, or mood component, which in my case is bi polar 1. Sounds bad, but I am able to manage it quite well. For some reason today, I am really horny. I do not know why, but I am. I will try my best to not get a cheap slut. I am sure I could here in York, but I am waiting on her. I love her. I really want to be her boyfriend, but I am not sure how she feels anymore, like if she actually likes me, or she is just pretending. It is what it is, love is strange, and if it is meant to happen it will. She is the apple of my eye, and I really mean that. If she is reading this, you know very well who you are. I guess I’m simply broadcasting my thoughts to the world, so whatever, fuck it. I’ll do it live! As Bill O’reilly said so blatantly on air that one time. Man that is some funny ass shit. Right now, I’m sitting outside of my group home with my house-mates, and we are listening to some really bad music, at least I think so, I’ll probably put my own music on my headphones, stuff that I like. Dave Mathews band is now playing. I grew up with the DMB, and they still have some good songs that I like to listen to. Don’t Drink the Water is especially good. I am enjoying a sober life, one of which I thought I would never be able to live, considering my rampant drug use for the past ten years. I got money in my pocket too, although I just got a job, I am not spending it. I may need it for a rainy day, and I have had quite a few dreary rainy eras in my life, just like when I got laid off and lost my mind. I am living the good life now, with good people from the group home. I do not care what society thinks of us, we are talented additions to the world, just a little short-circuited in the brain at times, but that is precisely what medication is for. Today’s medication are wonder drugs. For instance, I’m now on abilify, which does not make me tired like all the old anti-psychotics.

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