a re submission about my visits to my father's gravesite
|As I opened the gates and walked through,|
I could see you.... even though you weren't there.
Your presence has always commanded strong feelings.
Still..... you weren't there.
I took my usual deep breath and wiped away a single tear that I purposely let roll all the way down my cheek so you could feel my presence as well.
As I walked toward your grave, the wind began to blow a slight breeze.
It was almost as if you were waving hello to me.
I took the short walk, which seemed like miles, until I approached your grave.
I stood and looked in silence for a minute as a second tear rolled all the way down my cheek.
I sat down in the damp grass right next to where you were resting.
Even though I knew it was only a shell of you in there, I still needed to feel that closeness to you.
I talked to you, even though I knew you couldn't respond, but as if to feel normal.
To feel right.
To feel your love and wanting you to feel mine as well.
As if to feel normal.
I kissed your headstone, got up, and walked away.
And like always, I turned around one more time to say.........
"I Love You Dad".
Until, the next time, the anchor will hold.