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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2265581
Dialogue 500 Contest Prompt: A conversation with William Shatner
Dialogue 500 Contest
Prompt: A conversation with William Shatner
500 words

"Hey, Bill!"

"Hey... you!"

"Don't you remember me? We met at the last convention!"

"Oh. Right. You, uh, do look a little familiar, I guess."

"A little? But we took a picture together and everything! See?"

"Riiiight. It's all coming back to me now."

"I knew it would. I told my wife all about how we first met at Trekkers in Vegas, but I think that what really impressed her is the whole story about how we became besties back at the San Diego Comicon."

"Besties, huh."

"Yeah. I'm so glad it's all coming back to you. I was afraid I was going to have to Vulcan death pinch you or something. Maybe drag you back to the hotel to slap some sense into you. Just like in that one episode of Trek where that Klingon—"

"You know, I've got to run. But really, it's been nice chatting."

"Oh really? My car's just outside. I'd love to give you a lift!"

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm good. Now if you'll excuse me..."

"Oh, just one more thing before you go! I wanted to ask you. What was it like going into space for real? And is Bezos a cool guy? I know he's super rich, and I always wondered what that guy is—"

"Whoa! Look at the time. I'm so sorry, but I've really got to—"

"Maybe just one more picture? For the wife? Well, ex-wife now, I guess."

"Well I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, but I just really need to—"

"Oh thank you so much, Bill. I'm so glad I have you to confide in. The divorce has been so difficult for me to deal with. Her lawyer stood up in court and said I was unhinged. Unhinged! Can you believe that?"

"Well, actually, I—"

"But I got through it. And seeing you again, hearing you ask about my divorce. It just makes me feel all sorts of warm things."

"What kind of warm thi— Wait! What are you doing? Are you hugging me? Just... get... away!"

"What's wrong, Bill? Friends hug each other sometimes, don't they?"

"I, um, have a phobia about close contact. Supercloseaphobia. And a skin condition. Yes. A very contagious skin condition."

"Oh God, Bill! What on earth are you doing at a convention with a condition like that? Maybe I should just take you home."

"No! I mean, you're right. I think I'll just check into a room and turn in for the night."

"Don't you need someone to take care of you? You're basically a national treasure. I'd hate for all of us to lose you. Seriously. Let me get my jacket. It's just right over here. If something were to happen to you in your sleep, and I wasn't there to call 911, I don't know if I could even live with myself..."



"Bill! BILL! Wait up! Why are you running? Bill? BILL! Don't go! The elevator doors are closing! And I didn't catch your room num—"

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