by LJ Barr
Jayson comes out to his older brother, James.
| A younger sibling reveals they're LGBT.|
James sat in one of the two-barrel chairs in the conversation area in front of the large fireplace. The space appointed by their mother when James come out five years ago. James wondered how long it would be before Jason came out; he’d been going out 7secretly late at night. Last evening around 7pm, a very nice-looking young man picked up Jason, and from all indications, it was a date. James consulted his watch when he heard the living room door open. “James, I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to wait for Michael, since he’s the reason I asked for this meeting,” Jason said. Jason entered the room followed by a tall, attractive, if gangly young man. “This is Danny Mason,” Jason said.
“Danny, I’m Jason’s older brother James; I’m glad to meet you,” James replied.
“I’m not just like everyone else,” Danny said.
“I know, Danny, but let’s let Jason talk, he called me here to explain something,” James said; “Jason, I wondered when you would come forward,” James continued, focusing his attention on Jason.
“You knew?” Jason asked.
James chuckled. “Don’t forget, I am also gay, and I had my awkward moments, before I told mom I was gay.”
“I just wasn’t sure about it until I met Danny. I did my fair share of experimenting, discovering that girls are good, but they just don’t have what it takes to ring my bell. A couple of weeks ago, I met Danny, and we did some things that were new. Until that night, all did was blow off a couple of dudes, but with Danny, I began wondering what it would be like to do more than kiss and suck. I mean, all that’s good, but it makes me want more. Do you understand?”
James lifted an eyebrow.“I understand, Jason, and the first thing you need to know is that you are not different because you are gay; you are gay because you live differently. You were conceived just like me, but your male genes run the show. It’s no more wrong for you to like men than it is for your sister to like women.”
“But what if somebody says I’m condemned because I am gay,” Danny asked.
“Who told you that, a religious fake?” James asked.
“I don’t know about the fake part, but he said the Bible said so,” Danny said.
“The way I see it,” Jason said, “the religionists believe that because most of them are hypocrites who are afraid of their own shadow. If they have impure thoughts, they have to judge and condemn that which they don’t care to understand.”
“You’re right, to a point, but race hatred is a learned behavior, not inherited. Kids who grow up in these tyrannical homes are steeped in fear of what they don’t understand, and as you said, Jason, they fear everything that is not of them,” James said, “and recently, dad and I have talked. He’s coming around. A couple of his friends who have gay sons, and although he doesn’t understand everything, dad is more accepting than ever. I believe he’ll be looking you up in the near future to have a man to man talk,” James said.
James’ thoughts traveled back to the night that his father came to him. They had the best and longest conversations than they had since him came out six years earlier. “James, you and I have grown distant over the past few years and that’s my fault, but I didn’t know how to approach you. Tonight, though, I am coming because I have some questions concerning your younger brother. I didn’t know how to ask, so I thought I’d better begin at the beginning. Dad sighed. “Forget all the political jargon and be straight with me.”
“Sure, Dad, what’s up?”
“I’ve been watching your brother for some time, and I noticed some of the same signs you exhibited before you came out. Is Jason a homosexual male?”
“Yeah, Dad, I’ve watched him closely for the past few months, and I can say with certainty, that Jason is homosexual” . . .
“I miss mom sometimes,” Jason said, “she was so wise.”
“I miss her too,” James said, “but I honestly believe that she and dad had a long talk with dad before she died; “he’s been changing and the fact that he came to me says a lot; he’s trying hard, Jason,” James said. “I give you and Danny my blessing, and Danny, ignore the self-righteous, they don’t know everything.”
As the door closed behind Danny and Jason, James’ mind continued it’s backtracking until it stopped at the day James came out to his mother; he was thirteen years old. His mother had been busy in the kitchen for hours.
“Mom, could you please quit cooking for a few minutes, I have something important to tell you,” James said
“Of course, son, just have a seat at the bar, and I’ll be over in a few seconds.” A few minutes later, mom, brought two cups of tea to and a plate of brownies o the bar and sat down. Okay, James, what’s so important that you had to have my undivided attention?” Mom asked. Mom watched as James struggled valiantly to get the words out, but nothing would come. “Maybe I can help,” she said.
“You knew and never said anything, why?”
“The adage about parents being the first to know is more than words. I’ve known you were gay since you were five years old, but you needed time to understand what was happening to you; your father also knows. He’s still having difficulty dealing with it, but in time, he’ll come to you.”
“But what did I do that gave it away?” James asked.
“There were many signs during the years but the biggest sign your lack of interest in the girls, “mom said.
“I was scared dad wouldn’t understand,” James said.
“Your father knows, he just doesn’t understand, but one day soon, he’ll come to you,” mom said. A month later, Mom got sick, and six months after that she died; dad took her death real hard, but about a year ago, dad came to James and they had that talk, just like he would with Jason.