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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2272432
Miles has been paying attention. For the Daily Flash Fiction Contest, 5/4. 300 words.
"What is that?" Diane's expression was bewildered.

Miles and Diane stood in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, examining the taxidermy squirrel in his tiny Viking helmet and armor. In one paw he held a large (proportionately) silver shield, the other held a battle axe.

Its huge black eyes and tiny buck teeth betrayed the ruthless persona. It was an adorable nightmare ready for war.

"I made it myself! Miles said triumphantly. "Or his outfit, anyway."

Diane tilted her head slightly. "He's not the same guy we shooed away from the bird feeder last week, is he?"

"Of course not!" He said. "I know you love those little guys, and you've been bingeing that Viking show... I just wanted to get you something completely original." His enthusiasm melted her heart. "Isn't he cute? I thought he'd be perfect for your office!"

"Thanks so much honey, I love him." Said Diane, as convincingly as possible. "I'll take him to work with me in the morning."

At the office the next morning, she shoved him in her desk drawer. "What am I gonna do with this thing?" She murmered.

About an hour later, Diane was just pouring herself a second cup of coffee when her boss emerged from the office across the hall, talking loudly into her phone.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "People have been making them and tagging that actor from that Viking show everyone's talking about. He posts them all over his social media. The squirrels especially are going for, like, thousands of dollars right now!"

Diane raced back to her office and lunged for her laptop. She Googled frantically, "Viking squirrel value." The results had way more commas and dollar signs than she could've imagined. For the second time in 12 hours, Diane decided she could pretend to love it.

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