by Soul Intact
Dealing with betrayal and heartbreak
I NEVER ASKED WHY and HOW when I let you in, and it still haunts me. I never let it make sense because, at that time, it felt genuine and robust. My heart never thought twice, and I wasn't willing to let the feeling pass me by. I had searched for that feeling for so long, and I was grateful because I got to experience something so solid and unique.
Unfortunately, I was so blind that I forgot to think beyond the infatuations. So this perfectionist walked my way and jumped on the following "train" to catch up.
I remember all the things that ran through my mind from the moment I met you. I play rewind, and all that looks at me is something I can't explain. I was so stupid to have given you the authority to ruin me. I gave and gave to a point where you sucked me dry. You were never content.
I have realized it a little too late; along with me sits a broken girl who is scared to open the door again. I feel tired each time I stare in the mirror; my eyes won't even look at me. Instead, I see the accusation in them.
The regret that burns my heart throws me deeper into an abyss, and I don't see myself leaving. But, on the contrary, each time I let myself go, I smile; feels good not to know what is happening around me.
But I am so tired of the emptiness that resides within me. The pain is constantly digging deeper in me, searching for something to destroy.
I try to find comfort outside my door but only realize that even the few things that 'belong' to me are now marked with him. My heart still speaks of him. The sound is so loud that I can't find my sanity in the chaos.
I want a little silence, just for me.