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Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Contest Entry · #2286480
Santa falling down drunk
"I thought you of all people, would not lie to me,
While I place all these gifts, under the tree.
I can see for myself, the condition your in.
You're not fit to drive, when your so full of gin."

"I can drive if I want to, there's nothing to fear.
Most of the driving, is done by the deer.
I just need to enter, and sit on my bum.
I'll just flick on the reins, and let the deer run."

"You foolish old sot, it's that time of year.
The children are waiting, for Christmas draws near.
The Elves are all worn out, from chasing your ass,
From tavern to tavern, while you're passing gas."

"Just leave me alone, you have nothing to dread,
I can care for myself, so go off to bed.
The night is still young, and there's plenty to drink,
I keep my booze, hidden under the sink."

"I just can't believe, you won't listen to me.
I've loved you forever, I can't let this be.
I've chained up the sled, now you're gonna pay
For making my hair turn, grayer each day."

"Just leave me alone, stop being a nag.
Your voice is so grating, you sound like a hag.
I'm getting a headache, and needing a drink.
I'll just fetch it myself, from under the sink."

"I'll laugh myself silly, while watching you search.
I've taken your stash, left you in the lurch.
I've emptied it all, down into the drain.
Now you'll go to AA, and clean out your brain."

Word count 258
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