Ghost Myself

You came and then went far away

you came—
then went far away.
you came,
made my life something,
then vanished again.
why?

you told me things—
so many things.
you painted futures with your words,
then pulled yourself back
like none of it ever mattered.

how am i supposed to feel
about everything that happened?

if it was true,
then why does it feel like a lie?
and if it was a lie,
why did you say
i was the one you’d love?
the one you’d spend forever with?

wow.
lie,
then lie,
then lie again.

and now—
look what’s become of me.

i don’t live for myself anymore.
i live for others,
for their comfort,
for their version of me.

when you were with me,
i was fine.
i made friends.
i laughed.
i felt real.

but now that you’re gone,
i can’t ghost them…
so i ghost myself instead.

i bury my true self
just to stay standing,
just to survive
a life i never asked for.

a life
i want
to die.