What the hell is that?

A very short story I wrote years ago in a creative writing class.

What the hell is that?

A lone man stood staring, seemingly off into space. His mouth was gawking and from the stink lines he emitted it was clear to say either 1 of 2 things; he hadn’t showered in a week, or he was standing there staring for one week straight. Sitting in a coffee shop across the street, James couldn’t help but jest to his friends at the behavior of the perceived mad man.

“I’m going to go see just what exactly he’s staring at.” He walked across the street into the alleyway where the man was standing. At first glance the alleyway opened into another street. It was just an alley between a post office and a barbershop, not wide enough for a car to drive through.

“Hey, my man, what are you staring at?”

“Hey, come over here, you see that? Just what in the hell is that?” His speech was clumsy but not slurred. He was sober and never let his eyes wander. Approximately in his late thirties and wearing loose raggedy clothing, his demeanor wasn’t appealing in the least.

“What are you talking...” and then James saw it, “just what in the hell is that?”

“I dunno. What in the hell is it?”

“It looks like the biggest bag of Oreos in the world was struck by lightning,” James said.

“No, it looks like two old ladies got in a fight, hitting and beating and smashing each other with their little old lady canes,” said the raggedy man.

“That’s not right. Maybe. It looks like some strange real-life Pokémon is trying to evolve and got stuck halfway through.”

“Pokémon?! I never looked at it that way.”

“Just tilt your head like this.”

“Oh yeah, I see it.”

“What in the hell is that thing?”

“Yeah, what the hell is it?”

By this point, James’ friends were getting worried and yet they couldn’t stop laughing. They figured the way they both were standing; slouching over with their mouths open, that James was mocking the man.

“It’s like a stampede of bunnies just blew up,” said James.

“More like King Kong and Godzilla got in a fight. And Godzilla kicked that monkey’s ass,” countered the raggedy man.

“I disagree.”

“About what the hell it is?”

“No, about Godzilla winning.” James was obviously a King Kong fan.

“Godzilla is at least two stories bigger than the big Ape.”

James chuckled, “You got a point.”

Their total attention was now focused on that singular point. No outside occurrences fazed them, and the entire world slowed its pace.

“Hey! Just what in the hell is that?” James was now fully engrossed.

At this point, when James and the man were most focused, at their most critical moment, a third party approached. A younger man about James’s age, twenty-three, and sporting a leather jacket heard their question.

“That’s just a cloud you fools. Geez, people these days don’t act like they know what a cloud is.”

James and the man looked at each other in bewilderment, then back at the object in question. The silence was broken a minute later by the raggedy man, “I still like that Pokémon idea.”