This is where I rot - 6.10.2025

These are the bits of me I don’t say out loud. Some of them make no sense. Also TW

Oh, Adele, where were you when I needed you the most? In my memories... Only then and there...

I know you know me from Münich, you know when you said: "I am being deadly fucking serious, I want my whole of Münich to be able to hear you sing one of these choruses." Even though we sang "Someone like you" I can't find that one last strand of hope that is someone like you.

You are basically a surgeon. Not like how you imagined you would become one, but you heal people's hearts, which you did not break.

I heard the magic words, straight from you... "I love you and I always will." Those were the last words I heard from you, not from a fucking recording, but from you when you left the stage.

Yes, I am listening to Adele, and so are my neighbors. You know how liberating it was to scream "Rolling in the Deep" with 80K people? I was screaming. Sorry if you were standing around me. Truly am sorry for crying during the whole concert and screaming for my life. I remember I scolded the person I was with, because she was singing before Adele told us it was our turn to sing.

I want to fucking throw my soul through every open door to shine, but this sun is collapsing into itself.

I need to be everyone's sun to shine in their life. What am I doing, burning the fuck out. But there was a night when I was shining. It was the night of the concert. I wish I were cocky enough to share a video of me dancing, and singing, and swaying.

FML, where did I go wrong. I was not like this a couple of years ago. Now I only soak up wine.

I feel like the echo is going weaker and weaker.

Echo out.