Rufus and Wilbur ( Inventers Beware )

( Inventers Beware )

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Deep in the city of Stucktomyshoe
Lived an inventive young man called Rufus Magoo.
He spent most of his time locked up in his shop
Making little gadgets that went flippity-flop.
He made what-chya-ma-callums and thing-a-ma-things
That spun just for fun or sometimes would cling
To the leg of your trousers or get caught in your hair.
So the sign in his yard said, “Inventors: BEWARE!”

Now Rufus’s partner, Wilbur Magee,
Was a brilliant young man, but no one could see
Just how big they were destined to be.
“Rufus,” said Wilbur, “one day they will see
Our names in the paper, I guarantee.
They’ll have a parade and they’ll give us the key!
Then her highness The Queen will invite us for tea.”
“Wilbur,” said Rufus, “I’d have to agree.
The history books from A down through Z
Will mention our names to some great degree:
The greatest creators were Magoo and Magee!”

You’re probably wondering, “What did they make?”
Well, things that would rattle and prattle and shake
And one great big waste bin that ate nothing but cake.
They made sprockets for rockets, though none could be found.
Rockets, that is, they had sprockets abound!
They made gizmos and whizmos, large clickity-clanks,
A fleet of concrete but gave up when they sank.
There were flying and frying square-doughnut machines,
Even a toaster that ran on pure steam.
There were so many others, too numerous to name,
Each one they were certain would bring them much fame.

One day while inventing inventible things,
The bell on their door went a ring-a-ling-ling.
Then in through the mail slot and onto the floor,
Came a notable note that was tied with a string.
“Wilbur,” said Rufus, “this is too big to ignore!
I found this here note on the floor by the door.
Two tickets inside, for a party it seems,
In the Palace’s gardens put on by the Queen.
A fabulous gala, a black tie affair,
To properly ponder her stunning new hair.”
“But Wilbur,” said Rufus, “There is something more,
The number on top says four-hundred and four.
It would seem that the mailman was in a daydream
For this house is numbered four-hundred-fourteen.”

“Rufus,” said Wilbur, “I forgot to relay,
I did notice something when I got here today.
It seems that the “-teen” on your door has been lost,
So I see how the mail just might have been crossed.
Why would the queen invite us to the bash
When the cream we invented gave her a rash?
It turned her skin purple, then yellow and green. She grew
A brown mustache then she started to scream.”
“Magoo,” said Magee, Don’t you recall?
We were quickly escorted right out of the ball!
The Queen, she was screaming and turning all blue,
Shaking her finger, “I’ll deal with you two!
And Rufus,” said Wilbur, “this one is BIG:
WE ARE THE REASON SHE’S WEARING A WIG!”

“Wilbur,” said Rufus, “You worry too much.
She could not have meant it, no, not about us.
This is our chance, I’m sure you’ll agree,
To reclaim our names in books A down through Z.
I’ve no doubt about it, we’ll make history.
We can bring all our gizmos, the thing-a-ma-things,
By the time it’s over, all the people will sing.
Their voices will carry high into the air.
Then the Queen will forget all about her old hair.
But if you’ll feel better, if you think that it’s wise,
We’ll not tell a soul. We’ll just wear a disguise.”

The day finally came, so Magoo and Magee
Loaded their wagon with creative debris.
They had what-chya-ma-callums and thing-a-ma-things
That spun just for fun and sometimes would cling
To the leg of your trousers or get caught in your hair.
That’s why the sign on they’re shop said, “Inventers: BEWARE!”
They had gizmos and whizmos, large clickity-clanks,
Flying and frying square-doughnut machines.
They even brought toasters that ran on pure steam.
When the wagon was piled way up to the sky,
They went into the house to put on their disguise.
The garden was packed full of people that day,
All talking
And squawking
And spreading hearsay.
There were tables of food, a most feastable feast.
They even had drinks from the “Fartherest Reach!

Magoo spied a table next to the swing
Filled to the brim with chocolaty things.
“Magee,” said Magoo, “look next to those doors.
The Queen put her favorite chocolaty porridge.
Magoo reached around to a sack on his back,
Then he brought forth a gadget all shiny and black.
What he held in his hands was a thing-a-ma-thing.
“I’ll just put one of those on top of this spring,
Fly it on over in front of The Queen.
When she sees it’s her favorite dish that it brings,
She’ll smile a big smile, she’ll forget everything.”
Magee looked at Magoo and Magoo at Magee,
Then said, “Wilbur, don’t worry,
It will work. You will see.
I know what you’re thinking,
but that won’t happen because
I stayed up all night just to work out the bugs.”

So Magoo put a couple on a thing-a-ma-thing,
Then sent it away in search of the Queen.
But just as the porridge was hovering in mid-air,
It bumped into a tree limb and fell on her new hair.
It landed on top of her head with a PLOP!
She screamed then she bellowed,
“EVERYONE, STOP!”
She reached up to feel the goop on her head.
Then she looked at her fingers and turned really red.
She screamed and she steamed,
She let out a long cry,
“SINCE WHEN DID ELEPHANTS LEARN HOW TO FLY!”
She looked all around then finally spied
Magoo and Magee in a simple disguise.

She pointed her finger for everyone to see,
Then screamed to her guards, “BRING THEM TO ME!”
Magoo and Magee were hastily led
In front of the Queen who was still really quite red.
She looked at the two men, then turned as she said,
“Sometime tomorrow, off with their heads.”
“Queen, hear me out,” cried Wilbur Magee.
“I know of this place across the great sea,
A spout or a spigot, I tell you the truth,
The name of this place is the Fountain of Youth.”
Hearing these words, the Queen turned around.
“Good bye and good riddance, don’t come back till it’s found.”
They jumped to their feet and ran for the gate,
Scattering people, and shattering plates.

“Wilber!” puffed Rufus, “I’ve never heard of this place.”
Magee kept on running, with a smile on his face.
“Neither have I, but we’ll search high and low,
And if we don’t find it at least we’ll grow old.”
A guard turned to The Queen, “You don’t really believe,
Yet you let both those scoundrels run out of here free?”
The Queen turned and smiled, “You’re a fool, don’t you see?
I'm finally rid of Magoo and Magee!”

So starts the journey of Magoo and Magee
to reclaim their names in books A down through Z.
A journey that might just guarantee
the names Rufus and Wilbur their own history.