Just a thought

Needed to get outside my head

Maybe love is not meant to be understood.
Let me explain myself,
I find myself trying to understand why we were meant to be, why we were together, why our love was important and why it should be remembered. Its almost like trying to understand why natural disasters occur, only we know these occur as a result of certain chemical reactions, physical behaviours and concentration gradients.
When a natural disaster occurs, the headlines in the news are not looking for an explanation of how the tsunami was caused because of the movement of tectonic plates, earthquakes in the sea, landslides or volcanic eruptions. That is a given, we know why it was caused and therefore we focus on the effects it has. As an individual and a society we conglomerate in communities affected by these natural disasters, helping those in need, giving voice to the consequences of the natural disasters, posting news on our instagram stories, liking facebook pages about the effects of these or just simply by being aware and thinking about those that have been affected.
When a natural disaster occurs, no one is trying to understand why such pain has been caused because there is no actual factor that we can blame, that we can reason with ourselves, or punish or even just think "why did this happen, why did they decide to do this, how could they do this to me".
Maybe trying to understand love is as pointless as trying to understand a natural disaster.
It just happens.
Much like when waves collide against the rocky cliffs in the San Francisco bay, slowly corroding it into a particular shape
or like when the wind blows in your face due to differences in air pressure in Boston, the windiest major city in the U.S.
maybe even like when snow falls on your face and kisses your cheek during January in Glasgow
much like when the sun toasts you laying on the beach in some summer destination in the south of Spain
but also like when you can barely see the road from the heavy rain in Cataluna, drowning your car
Maybe love is not meant to be understood but just felt,
Maybe love is meant to be felt warmly just like those sunny days,
but suffered just like when waterfalls fall from the sky and wrecks entire towns, leaving only ruins,
ruins as the evidence that it was real, it was felt.

However if this is true it would mean heartbreak is not meant to be understood either.
I think this is the hardest bit.
Accepting it just happened, with no actual explanation, with no actual entity to blame
just a heart to mend and a situation to be faced,
to clean up the mess the storm has left behind,
to wipe every piece of glass in the floor to keep it from cutting my feet open instead of trying to understand how they ended up there in the first place.
Maybe things will never go back to the way they were because after cleaning and wiping and even restoring and re-building the whole house there will still be marks of the storm.
Even if its just a funny smell in one part of the house, a separate room no one really goes into
maybe its even a mark in the wall to were the water reached that night
or a permanent grave outside in the garden from someone that passed from the storm that night living inside the house.
Still tho, there is no point in understanding why it has happened, because the gut-wrenching truth is it cannot be changed
no matter how much I wish it could
It simply cant
just like the particular shape corroded into the rocky cliffs in San Francisco
or was it the rays of the sun hitting my skin
or the heavy rain that made me slide on that motorway,
I cannot change it nor understand it
I can only mend its effects.
Love cannot be understood
Heartbreak cannot be understood
it can only be felt because there is no rational to our heart
it just feels
it just cries
it just lives
and it just dies.