Santa's Holiday

Taking time off was harder than Santa thought it would be.

“Two hundred years and I’ve never had a single day off.” Santa groaned as he was handed an envelope. “What’s this? Another kids Christmas Letter asking for the moon?”

Two tickets fell out along with a note. “You always give kids presents. It’s about time you got one of your own. Thanks for all you do, Henry Snyder.”

“Ho, ho, ho!” It felt like Santa had won the lottery. He adjusted his spectacles, sucked in his cheeks and examined the tickets. “Around the world cruise for two. Henry knows I like to travel. What a guy.”

Santa made a mental note to personally thank Henry when he stopped his sleigh at that house come Christmas Eve. “I must show these to Martha. She’ll be so excited. That second honeymoon I always promise, will be a dream fulfilled.”

“Pack your bags, Santa. We can’t be late.” It felt a little strange leaving his eight tiny reindeer and sleigh at the ocean port. It would be picked up later by one of his trustworthy elves. After two hundred years, the routine had become a habit. “They’ll scarcely miss me,” said Santa, helping Mrs. Claus up the cruise ship ramp.

Everyone knew who Santa was, because of the way he dressed. Santa owned nothing but his holiday outfits. He was greeted not like one of the first class guests, but as a performer required to do his duty and perform. His ‘ho, ho, hos’s’ sounded more like ‘no, no, no’s’ by the time he got to his cabin. “You’ve never disappointed or sounded negative, dear.” said a very worried Mrs. Claus.

Santa’s vacation seemed to be disappearing right before his eyes. “Don’t answer it.” Santa stopped Mrs. Claus from opening their cabin door.

He stared down at himself and gave a nod. “It’s these clothes. I’ll take them off.”

“You can’t go parading around naked, Santa. You’ll scare the kids instead of making them smile.” Mrs. Claus leaned over to give Santa a kiss on one rosy cheek. “Strip to your shorts and go swimming. I’ll hem the front up so you’ll look like everyone else.”

The deed was done before Santa had hardly caught his breath. He marched out to the pool, jumped in, and made quite a splash. “Ho, ho, ho.” He exclaimed, and that ended his fun, for everyone knew that laugh, that long white beard, and the twinkling eyes that could only belong to Santa Claus, himself.

Santa, trailed by a long line of children asking for presents, escaped back into his cruise ship cabin. “That was a fast swim, dear. Did you have fun?” Mrs. Claus asked, while examining the ship’s nightly menu.

“This is no vacation. This is more work than delivering a world of goodies on Christmas Eve.” Santa said hoarsely.

“Well. Look on the bright side. You’re getting a lot of exercise.” Mrs. Claus was always an optimist. “I bet it has made you hungry. Let’s go eat. We’ve been invited to sit at the captain’s table. Won’t that be fun?”

Santa had his doubts but gave in, due to his wife’s obvious gaiety. He winced, and lurked his way from shadow to curve until they arrived at the captain’s table. Holiday music filled the air around them. The dining room was dressed in Christmas ornamental cheer.

“I’ve set up a special chair just for you, Santa,” the captain stood up and ushered Santa to a Santa chair set up by the sparkling lights flashing on the Christmas tree. “No. Don’t get up. You are my special guest. This chair is yours for the rest of the cruise.”

Santa watched his wife eat a sumptuous repaste as children and adults sat on his aching knee and whispered slobbery requests he was supposed to please. “Here, dear. I brought you cold leftovers,” Mrs. Claus settled a tired looking plate on Santa’s lap back in the cabin. “Don’t look so glum. You are bringing joy to so many people. Some should be warming your heart.”

“Maybe we could change places and you could take over my spot,” suggested Santa. Mrs. Claus only laughed. “You’re so funny. It’s good to see you coming back to your jolly old self.”

Santa did not sleep well that night. He tossed. He turned. He yearned for his vacation to stop.

It was still dark when something went ‘thump’ in the night. “Who’s that?” Santa sat up with a jerk. Someone had invaded his room. His life’s work was becoming a horror story. Who wanted to steal his holiday cheer now?

“The vibration of the universe is twisting itself into knots,” came a calm ethereal dark voice.

“Is that you, Father Time?” Santa’s fears eased as he recognized his old friend. “You make time stand still every Christmas eve so that I may fulfill my destiny. Why have you come so early?”

“I heard you were on vacation. I followed the twists and turns of the inverse’s unease. It led me to this cruise ship and you.” Father Time set down his scythe and placed his eternal shifting hourglass aside. “What’s the problem?”

“Instead of having the time of my life on vacation, it has become a waste of time and worse.” Santa groaned. “I’m never let alone, everyone expects more presents, more wishes fulfilled.”

Father Time nodded slowly in agreement, “I came in the nick of time. Rest. Sleep. And dream of the happiness you require. All will be well when you awake.”

Santa thanked his old friend but could hardly believe sleeping away his vacation would improve things. When he opened his eyes many hours later, and well rested, he yawned, stretched, and realized he felt much better. The faintest memory of what he’d dreamed of faded as he shook Mrs. Claus to waken her. “It’s time to arise.”

All was quiet as death. Not a sound escaped in the room. All was peacefully quiet. He leaned over and heard the quiet thump thump of his beloved’s heart. “You want to sleep in? Fine. I’ll get up and sneak us some breakfast.”

No-one stirred in the hallway. “The whole ship seems to have slept in.” Santa didn’t have to sneak. His firm confident walk carried him into the dining room, where breakfast lay waiting to be served.

The few morning staff seemed paused in their tracks. “Father Time was really in my room last night. He made time stand still for all but me. What a wonderful gift. I’ll have my vacation after all.”

Santa sampled blueberry muffins, strawberry pancakes, eggs benedict, orange juice, and more, until his tummy stretched full and happy.

He wandered the decks, sampled the rich salty air, and watched the vast never ending distance beyond.

The warmth of the cruise ship swimming pool beckoned to him. He lulled, floating, watching the clear blue sky.

Santa played billiard ball without any competition, honing his shots into brilliant moves.

He dozed when he wanted for as long as he wanted, made himself favorite sandwiches from the delectable offerings in the cruise kitchen. “Hmm, what a find.” The ship library had favorite author’s Santa had rarely had time for, but now he could read day and night.

Finally, spirit replenished, Santa called out to his old friend. “Father Time? Are you there?”

“Everyone deserves a break now and then. Next year, Santa, we’ll do the same.” The voice of Father Time echoed through the universe, which vibrated with healthy energy, as did Santa.

When Santa went back to his cabin, Mrs. Claus yawned and stretched. “I’ve never slept better, Santa. What a strange dream I had. What have you been up to?”

“It took a little time getting used to being on vacation, but I think it’s paying off in the end.” Santa gave his wife an enthusiastic kiss as she wrapped him up in her arms. “Ho, ho, ho!” Santa exclaimed, falling into bed with his mate.

There no better time to end this tale and give Santa the privacy the moment deserves Just remember, my friend, to take Father Time’s advice, and give yourself a little time to relax when you need to. Why not take some time off right now?

Wc 1833