Letter to the "Whine and Cheese Company, Inc."
|To Whom It May Concern,|
I am the self-proclaimed Diva O’ Manners of Chasskahoosa, Florida and I have a very serious complaint.
It started out innocently enough with your super deluxe gourmet wheelbarrow o’ cheese with sidecar basket of California wines, given to us by the honorable mayor of our town. While your gift ‘barrow #2 is mighty tasty, it has a rather odd side affect that goes against all of my Miss Manners University training.
Now everywhere I turn in my house there is some one cutting the cheese! No place I turn is safe, from the kitchen to the living room to the dining room. I was even forced to endure my husband cutting the cheese at his workbench in the garage!
One would think that I would be safe if I just left my humble abode on Elm Street, but noooo… I think the mayor gifted your products to the whole town, for everwhere I turned someone, somewhere is cutting the cheese!
Please give me some explanation or guidance in this matter, as I am about to lose my mind!
Lady ‘O Manners
***NOTE: Featured in the 8/24/11 Comedy newsletter***