on a weekend trip to Hawaii, three buddies seek some action
| Getting Lucky
Kami carefully wrapped the silverware sets neatly into the pale yellow serviettes. She usually disliked doing this chore because staring at the forks reminded her of her braces. But Kami didn't complain about her weekend job; she could be stringing flowers into leis, or scrubbing scuff marks off the dance deck. Tourist season was in full bloom, and all the haoles inevitably went on the Windjammer dinner cruise. Sometime this afternoon, they'd come on board and be treated to every cliche of the mainland's stereotype of islanders. First the donning of the leis. Then some grass skirt hula dancing. Top it off with steak and lobster during an Elvis song with a ukulele strumming along. Hawaii is glad to take your money. Mahalo, please come back. But the guests always enjoyed the show. So Kami whistled a soft tune; it was a peaceful morning, and with luck she might have an eventful night.
Jared, Jason, and Stanley could hardly believe it. They were finally there, in Hawaii for a weekend getaway. Jared's dad's treat since he got all B's this past semester. Nodding as he scanned the plush lobby of their hotel by the beach, Jared whipped out his dad's credit card. "Charge it," he told the hot chica at the desk. Man, all these island chicks are gorgeous, he thought. "Fellas," he confided to Jason and Stanley, "we're in the bigtime."
"Aw yeah!" Jason agreed. "We're right on the beach, and the honeys are waitin' for us. What you think about that, Stanley?"
Before their shy buddy could respond, Jared interrupted, "It's time for Stan to become a man!" They shared a finger twiddle as Stanley blushed politely at the desk attendant.
She handed back room keys, at which point Stanley needed some clarification: "Separate rooms, Jared? Isn't that more expensive?"
Jared looped his arm around Stanley's shoulder, "My main man Stan, I'm bringing home a hellfire hottie tonight. You'll be lucky not to hear her screaming through the walls, you get me?" Jason chuckled at that. Poor Stanley, he mused, a decent-looking guy but he just don't have any moves yet.
The three friends decided to seek adventure separately and meet back in the lobby in the morning. They'd do the tourist thing together tomorrow.
Jared knew where the action was. He took a cab out towards Waikiki. That's where all the night life was. Forget that tourist shit, he resolved, heading for a club he could hear a block away. The house music was dead on, and he sure didn't hear any tropical sounds. So he was real pissed when the big ass bouncer wouldn't let Jared in. "You na kama'aina," the sizable Samoan growled at him, then promptly ignored him. When Jared got indignant, the 300-pound bouncer stood up from his stool to remind the stupid haole just how puny he was.
But just then a sexy voice saved Jared from an embarrassing retreat. "Hey sweetie, that's a locals-only club." That sing-song voice belonged to an amazingly beautiful woman who had just left the club. Her face was a delightfully indecipherable mix of Asian genes. Her complexion was light, but still golden compared to Jared's ghostly arms. Raven-black hair framed that friendly face and swayed in freefall to her tiny waist. And most alluring of all, she wore what amounted to a lycra rainjacket over a well-filled bikini. "We're headin' down the street for some serious ass-shaking, you wanna come with?"
Jared's eyes filled with rainbows, and his grin accepted her offer immediately. The woman's two girlfriends were hot too, but Miss Lycra was sizzling. He took her hand and flashed his most charming smile, "Beautiful, it would be my pleasure."
Jason was chillin' on the beach. He'd spent the whole afternoon checking out the babes, and they were aplenty. But it was time for them to check him out. Gymnastics kept him in prime condition, and he dozed lightly, happy in the knowledge that he was probably getting checked out.
A cool breeze stirred him from his nap. Someone was standing in Jason's sun. But he didn't mind much, because it was a buxom sorrel-haired girl with a devastating pair of lips. They moved around, saying something in his direction while her swimsuit continued its uphill battle to hide her goodies. "What was that?" Jason asked.
"I said, are you a spontaneous kind of guy?" This girl was perky, but in a sexy way. Unfortunately she didn't look like she was a day over seventeen.
"Sure. When I'm not tanning, I'm quite a fun-loving guy," Jason replied, feeling a little stupid like maybe he was on a TV dating show.
Miss Jailbait sat down next to Jason, her knee touching his thigh strategically. "Well then, perhaps you'll meet me later on tonight then?" She folded a small square of paper into the waistband of his shorts. Then with a final wink, she was up and running off.
Jason admired the view of her retreating assets. He carefully unfolded the slip of paper: "Hi, I saw you and couldn't resist. If you like oral, please meet me tonight at 9 o'clock at 14 Kimilani Drive." Jason couldn't believe his luck. He hadn't even needed to break out his smooth operator license. The chick had come to him.
Stanley had visited the Arizona Memorial already. He'd probably do it again tomorrow with Jared and Jason, but it would be worth seeing twice. That impressively sad monument was the country's largest tomb.
This pleasant evening found Stanley on a relatively inexpensive four-hour excursion. Dinner and a cruise for only $40. While he wasn't excited by the dancing part of the entertainment, Stanley knew the cruise was worth it when dinner time came. Even if the steak was bland, the lobster was heavenly. And some fat Hawaiian guy was singing "What a Wonderful World" in an uncanny impersonation of Louis Armstrong.
"Do you need some more butter?" the waitress asked him. Attached to that delicate voice was a nice-looking young woman, Stanley noticed. Not copper plastic like all the other beach bimbos around here.
"Yes please, the lobster is excellent. Tell me, do you ever get tired of it?" The question popped out without thought.
The waitress was caught off-guard and took a moment before she coyly asked, "Are you asking on behalf of the customer or the crustacean?"
Stanley laughed heartily, and could only answer "Both!" Soon he had distracted the young woman from her duties, and they chatted about each other's lives.
This Stan has a genuine personality, thought the waitress. "Stan" thought Kami was getting more attractive by the minute, despite the thin braces on her teeth. So he was delighted when she agreed to go on a date with him after the cruise ended.
Jason scratched at his arm, feeling queasy in his stomach this morning. He was also nervous that he was the only person waiting in the hotel lobby. Some beat-up fellow staggered in through the sliding front door, and Jason leapt up in surprise once he recognized it was Jared. "Oh man! Here, let me help you."
Poor Jared was sporting a nasty collection of bruises and scrapes. He groaned a bit as he was helped into one of the cushy seats. Jason fetched a wet towel from the desk attendant to help clean up his friend.
After the towel was properly stained, Jared felt like he could tell what happened. "I went dancing with this foxy chick and we went back to her place for some bump but then this dude jumped me sayin' like he was her pimp and all," he rambled out. Imploringly he added, "But she's not a hooker, J, I swear I didn't go lookin' for any ho."
Jason squeezed his knee, nodding, "I know, bro. It's been a nightmare of a night for me, too. I went to this sweet young thang's place because... well, she said she was into giving head. So we're inside and she takes off her shirt and says drop my drawers. Which I did but she turned out the lights."
Jared saw Jason get choked up and wondered why, when the story seemed to be going so well. "That's great, did she go down?"
It came out as a loud whisper: "When the lights came on, there was only me and some fuckin' older guy and no sign of any girl. He was smiling and dude I was freaked. I hauled ass." Jason's own expression was haunted, and he felt he could share that only because he saw the beating Jared had just taken.
Again Jared groaned, feeling a knot above his eyebrow. "Lousy goddamned night, huh. We shoulda stuck together. Where's Stan at?"
Shrugging, Jason suggested, "Perhaps we should go check on him? He probably turned in early. You know our boy." But when they reached Stanley's room on the sixth floor, Jason was speechless.
Hanging outside the doorknob was a Do Not Disturb sign with an exclamation mark written in red after it. Jared was not speechless. "Mother fuck! Look at that! We get screwed over, and Stan gets lucky?!" He banged on the door in rising irritation.
Stanley didn't answer after a while, and Jason got an extra key from the desk attendant. They barged into the room, fully prepared for the surprise of seeing some cute native in their pal's bed. "Stan, you the m--"
They weren't ready for the shock of the trail. The trail of red. Red probably blood. Streaming from its source. Leading to the bathroom. Where it passed a leg. And pooled around Stanley. Stanley who lay dead. With a toothbrush sticking out of his throat. His own hand on it. Blood everywhere, way too much. But that wasn't all the red.
On the mirror was red. The same shade as from the doorknob sign. Not blood red of Stanley sprawled on the floor, but lipstick red scrawled in handwriting: Welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS.
Jared was shocked to silence, but Jason broke down in tears. Not so much in grief at seeing his gentle friend dead, but noticing a detail he would rather not have seen. Jason could only imagine Stanley's anguish. A horror so strong that not only had he stabbed himself in the throat with a toothbrush, but he had had to try twice before hitting his artery.
During the weekdays, Kami had an easy job tearing tickets at an airline counter. After a weekend of one-night-stands with nameless haoles, she was feeling great. She laughed to herself, wondering how well her "guests" would take her joke on them.
No one was glad to be leaving the popular tourist islands, but two college boys leaving seemed particularly bummed out. Kami called to them, "Mahalo for visiting!" and beamed them a smile.
Jason placed no value in a brace-face Hawaiian girl wishing them well.
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