How long must I wait?
Waiting, Waiting, 1-2-3
by Marilyn Mackenzie Williamson
Patience. It’s not a virtue I claim. In fact, picture the woman in a cartoon shouting, "Lord, give me patience – RIGHT NOW!" That’s me. My family would say that, "When God was passing out patience, she was hiding behind the door."
Waiting is not something I relish. Yet waiting is what I’ve been doing quite regularly. Perhaps this waiting is God’s way of showing me the importance of patience.
I’m waiting for my knee to heal after surgery. Waiting, trying to be patient as I wait for doctors to decide when I can return to work. Waiting for a decision from them about the kind of work I’ll be able to perform, whether or not a job requiring standing will be feasible.
For years, I waited to have a child. My one and only son recently turned 18. Now I’m waiting, not so patiently, for him to want to grow up. To want to begin having an adult life. Shouldn’t he be interested in earning money or learning to provide for himself through college courses or vocational training? When I was his age, I couldn’t wait to leave home. He’s more patient than I ever was about that.
These thoughts were bombarding my mind as I sat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Others were flipping through magazines, old issues of magazines they weren’t interested enough in to subscribe and have them delivered to their homes. As I watched them flipping through magazines, I wondered, again, if I’d ever return to work.
It seemed that the healing process was taking forever. My leg couldn’t move much. It couldn’t bend fully or straighten fully. Would the doctor finally, after all these months, decide that I needed physical therapy?
I prayed for patience as I wrote in the waiting room. I counted my blessings as well. My injury certainly could have been worse. Or I could have been one of those patients with nothing better to do as they waited, than to flip through outdated magazines. I was glad I could write my thoughts instead.
Waiting. Now that I’ve found love again – for the first time, really – it’s hard not to just run to him. This love is far different than any I’ve ever felt before. I want to grow old with this special man. But with worker’s compensation insurance being involved, moving wouldn’t be possible for a while. And so I wait…
I’m so glad my beloved shows patience with me. Together, yet so far apart, miles and miles apart. We wait, encouraging each other. Talking daily, emailing, chatting, to feel a part of each other’s worlds. Waiting for the time when we can begin our forever, our eternity together.
Waiting for me to heal. Waiting for my son to grow up. Waiting for life to truly begin.
Patience. I’m learning to have some. I write every day, now, as I wait to heal.
Love is awaiting me at a distance. Is it any wonder that what patience I do have grows weaker each day? For someone who has never claimed patience as her virtue, I’ve had to try to develop some.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. NAS
The Greek word for patience here is makroqumia, meaning endurance, constancy, steadfastness, perseverance patience, forbearance, longsuffering, slowness in avenging wrongs.
From Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary:
Patience: the capacity, habit, or fact of being patient. Patient: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity; able or willing to bear.
Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. NAS
Here the Hebrew for wait is hwq, meaning to look for, to hope, to expect.
From Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary:
Wait: to remain stationary in readiness or expectation, to be ready and available.
This was written in June, 2002 as I sat in the waiting room of my orthopedic surgeon. Not long afterwards, I did start physical therapy. I also received a full leg brace that I still have to wear. My knee and leg muscles have never healed properly.
The love I wrote about in June, 2002 was not as patient as I believed. He also couldn't understand my son's "problems."
Still, God did provide that perfect love I awaited. Incurable Romantic and I were married on February 27, 2005. Boy am I glad I didn't rush into marriage with someone else! God does have our best interests in mind.
That doesn't mean I've learned to have patience. But I'm still praying about it!