Gigantia, land of male girth. Men grow enormous in a matriarchal society.
|GIGANTIA (the Land of Male Girth)
Now, climbing through the ranks of Gigantean sumo is not merely a matter of achieving the required minimum weight for the next rank, but rather of skill and ability - winning matches is how to ascend the ranks.
All new sumos, whether 300 pounds or 700 pounds, begin in the Athlete rank, and only after defeating a dozen Athlete rank sumos, and also six Champion rank sumos can they be promoted to Champion rank. As well, the would-be Champion sumo must also possess the minimum 500 pounds! Champion rank sumos may advance to Hero rank by defeating a dozen of their Champion rank fellows, plus six Hero rank sumos. Plus, of course, enjoying the necessary 700 pounds!
Sumos can also lose rank - losing six challenges in a row from lower ranked sumos, or having an average win/loss record to more junior ranked sumos over a season of worse than 60/40, will get you dropped a rank, so there is a regular circulation up and down.
Falling below the minimum weight for his current rank will also cause a Sumo to be dropped down a rank, but weight loss of this magnitude rarely happens unless a sumo has been very sick. Dropping a rank for weight reasons is not automatic, but is preceded a warning from the Sumo League with a two month deadline to regain the weight. In the case of prolonged illness, a sumo’s rank is “suspended” rather than changed downward, pending medical clearance and his ability to regain his “fighting weight”.
The Sumo Master is the Sumo League official charged with creating matches between sumo wrestlers - finding the balance of public excitement, necessary challenges, and overall balance needed to keep the sumos busy and satisfied with their careers, while also keeping the sumo rankings fair-but-open-to-change, and additionally keeping the audiences happy. Great sumo matches occur when well-matched sumos meet in the ring, and the Sumo Master has an office full of experienced help (including retired sumos) and sophisticated computer modelling software to help match up the “nearly-equals” to provide great public spectacles. Each sumo also needs to have a minimum number of matches per year, but not too many, while taking account of challenges for rank changes, the development needs of newer and younger sumos, and even injuries. With the Sumo League growing so rapidly, the Athlete rank (and to a lesser extent the Champion rank) are glutted with “overweight” young sumos, who are looking to move up as rapidly as possible - which poses a particular challenge to the Sumo Master’s match-setting skills.
With regard to the proposal for a new super rank of Titans, the chief limiting factor for now is the small number of active sumos in the Hero rank who weigh 900+ pounds. However, as more of the newer, fatter young sumos move up the ranks and balloon in mass, the League expects to have enough 900+ pound wrestlers to fill out a full schedule of bouts within five years. Already, in practice, the Sumo Master is able to schedule the 900+ pounders so they mostly wrestle among themselves, and with 800+ pound Heroes. Certainly the Master can isolate the 900 pounders from challenges from the lighter Champions - though the Champion rank holds an increasing number of sumos who are 850+ pounds, and even some 900 pound sumos. These 800+ pound Champions may challenge Titan-weight Heros as part of their challenges to be come Heros themselves. Generally, though, Titan-weight sumos wrestle with each other, or with the heaviest of the Hero rank only.
Giganteans love the glorious spectacle provided by two Titan-weight Gigantean sumos wrestling. Gargantuan in size, mammoth in mass - just watching these sumos making their ponderous approach to the ring, colossal bellies and massive thighs bouncing and shuddering with every step, thick chests heaving, awakens desire in many Gigantean women. And when both sumos have entered the ring, and begin to size each other up, pecs and guts and butts heaving and rebounding gently with each motion, there is a tension in the air that is truly electric.
Here's just a few of those mammoth men who can drive female sumo fans wild:
The current Yokozuna: Titanic Takazi (also a champion Gigantean trencherman), age 23, 1013 pounds, 6'3";
The heaviest current sumo: Too-tall Bob, age 31, 1117 pounds., 6'8";
The heaviest retired sumo (thus far): "Two-ton" Tankeryagushi, age 44, 1484 pounds, 6'4" (pretty much immobile) (still gaining weight).
Titanic's story is quite interesting, as he is one of modern Gigantean Sumo's real "finds"- he is not a "retiree" from another sport, but someone who came directly into pro sumo out of high school. Titanic has always been big - he was a 275 pound ten year old! In high school, he wasn't much of an athlete, even by the standards of big, fat Giganteans - he was slow, and super big. He tried and failed to make his high school football team. He did wrestle a little, but there were only a few others in his school his size interested in wrestling. His only team athletic experience was as anchor of a not very successful school tug-of-war team. He concluded that he would never be an athlete, and simply enjoyed his size, appetite, and a little weightlifting, through high school. Then, he met a sumo in college, and his prospects changed!
When Titanic enters the sumo ring, he is a sight to behold. Clad only in the traditional loincloth, Titanic’s body rises from broad, padded feet through massive calves to gargantuan thighs, which propel a king-sized butt and a mountainous, overhanging belly into the ring. Above that epic belly are two prodigious, glacier-like pecs, which lead to beefy shoulders, supporting magnificent beamy arms, and sloping upwards into a thick neck. Aficionados of sumo note that for a “Half-ton”, Titanic’s belly does not hang quite so low as other Half-tons’ do, and his shoulders, butt and thighs are wider and larger than most other Half-ton sumos’; this is all part of Titanic’s extraordinarily broad and heavy frame, which made him heavy and slow when he was younger and thinner, but is now a great advantage as he waddles into the ring.
Simply put, Titanic carries his 1000 pounds better than other Half-ton sumos do, as his strength and weight carrying capacity are considerably greater than any other current sumo. Titanic’s powerful body is pear-shaped; his thighs and calves are very thick, and his hips are bigger and wider than his belly - together they are better able to carry his belly than most Sumos’ bottom halves. Titanic’s belly is also undergirded and layered with an extraordinary amount of muscle, so it doesn’t hang as low and bounces less than other sumos’ bellies. As well as not hanging as low, Titanic's belly is also a bit smaller than normally expected for a 1000 pound Gigantean guy - it is still under 100", which many Gigantean guy’s guts exceed in the 800 pound, long before the 1000 pound level - again, because he carries so much of his weight elsewhere. Titanic’s tendency to bottom-heaviness means that he is better balanced in the ring, and better able to harness and use his mammoth weight to his advantage; he is harder to over-balance, and has the leg muscles and hip muscles necessary to move his gigantic mass with more authority, speed, and precision that other competitors his weight.
Not to be overlooked, Titanic's shoulders and arms also carry an extraordinary amount of his weight - and are extraordinarily strong as well. (Titanic holds a number of weight-lifting records for sumos).
The Sumo League’s biomechanician estimates that Titanic has a lean body mass of just under 500 pounds, making him one of the most muscled Giganteans in history. As his bodyfat outweighs his lean body mass by only a small factor (instead of the more common two pounds of fat for every pound of lean body mass that most sumos have, Titanic carrys just 1.06 pounds of fat mass per pound of lean mass) Titanic moves in the ring like a 600 or 700 pound sumo, not a Half-ton.
That mass carrying capacity is also key to Titanic’s other dream - he plans to enter the next Royal Weigh-in, and hopefully become King. (In his case, the mobility requirement will pose less of a problem than for most thousand pound male Giganteans.) He plans while King to gain the “traditional” pound a day, and then - unlike most former Kings who retire from active lives due to the onset of increasing immobility - he plans to come back to sumo wrestling! At that point he should be an astronomical 1400 pounds, and will clearly be the largest sumo wrestler, and largest Gigantean athlete, ever!
Sumos are great organizers and participants in eating contests - activities which the Sumo League promotes and encourages for sumos, particularly during the rest periods and off-season in the sumo year. The Sumo League is always on the look-out for ways to publicize sumo, and also for ways to encourage its sumos’ abundant appetites and expand their mammoth bodies; in public eating contests, the League has found a perfect marriage of phenomenal gluttony and public spectacle. Lately, Sumo League publicity ads have even taken to labelling eating contests as “The Xtreme Sumo Sport.”
Titanic is a superlative participant in these organized gorge-fests; his massive, robust body easily supports his huge belly, even when it's tremendously stuffed, but his massive body also demands enormous amounts of food daily, giving him both the appetite and the stomach to excel in such regular super-gorging. Of course, all that super-gorging is also one of the principal reasons why his weight topped the acclaimed half-ton mark while he was just 23 years old.
His fans note that Titanic has developed the “positive growth-appetite feedback cycle” - he eats more, he gets bigger, his bigger body demands yet more food, so he eats yet more, and gets yet bigger - a virtuous positive feedback cycle much admired in Gigantia.
Certainly Titanic’s immense size has little to do with any caloric efficiency or tendency to conserve energy on the part of his body - his immense physique is spectacularly inefficient with food. The daily caloric maintenance requirement of Titanic’s huge frame (that is, just the food required to keep his vast poundage alive and well) exceeds 35,000 calories per day by itself, or 20-30 pounds of food. To this great total must be added further enormous amounts of food needed to fuel his daily activities in the sumo practice ring. And, as Titanic often notes with a smile, he is "still a growing boy” - he needs yet more food to sustain his current robust annual weight gain, which averages over 120 pounds per year. Together, these needs mean that Titanic’s body demands an immense amount.
Driven by his body’s desperate search for sufficient calories to meet all these requirements, Titanic’s appetite and his gorging record are first-rate; in any eating competition he enters, he is normally the one to beat. On just an ordinary day, he will polish off 50-70 pounds of food. But on a hungry day, or an eating competition day, Titanic can put away 100 pounds of food (an impressive 10 % of his gargantuan bodyweight) in a sitting, and up to 160 pounds (a spectacular 16% of his bodyweight) over an entire day. Titanic was recently quoted in the Sumo News as describing his appetite as “inter-continental” - whether this is because of his liking of foods from many lands, or just due to its globe-girdling size, was left a mystery.
Titanic’s greatest gorging achievement thus far was the result of careful advance preparation. It occurred three weeks into the last sumo off-season, when (after several days of planning and preparation) he descended on three eating competitions in one day. With the avid encouragement of his wife, he consumed 174 pounds of food in the three competitions, thus setting a one day consumption record (174 pounds was 17.3% of his then bodyweight of 1006 pounds).
After a surprisingly light (for him) and mostly liquid breakfast and a short workout, Titanic made the first stop of his record setting day at a hamburger eating contest. Sponsored by a major Gigantean hamburger chain as part of the festivities for the re-launch of their one-pound hamburger, Titanic’s arrival at this contest had been well-publicised in advance, and he arrived early to sign autographs. By the time the contest was ready to start, Titanic’s belly was audibly gurgling and complaining about a lack of food. With the 14 other celebrity contestants, Titanic seated his massive butt on a hefty bench in front of a pile of 60 of the chain’s new “King” burgers. The race was to either be the first to consume all 60 burgers. A maximum time of 20 minutes had been decreed, and if no contestant had consumed all 60 burgers by that time, the contestant who had consumed the greatest number would be declared the winner.
When the starting gun went off, Titanic seemed to simply inhale whole stacks of burgers, dispatching them into his stomach at speed. While he was not initially the fastest eater, as the 20 minutes wore on, Titanic’s pace hardly slowed, but other contestants slowed noticeably. At the 18 minute 15 second mark, Titanic picked up the last of his 60 burgers, and firmly shoved it into his mouth. 10 seconds later, he opened his mouth to show that it was clear, and was declared the winner. Titanic stood up, and then calmly moved down the table to where one of other contestants, a junior Athlete-weight sumo from Titanic’s sumo stable, sat dejected with 8 burgers still in front of him.
“I thought I could do it, Ti,” the dejected youngster said.
“That’s OK,” said Titanic, “you did fine. But for the good of Sumo, I’m going to help you.”
Titanic then proceeded to polish off those eight uneaten burgers. When he had finished that, he turned to the next contestant, a former football star and famous TV personality who was sitting with 12 burgers still uneaten, watching Titanic in amazement. Titanic quipped to him, “Looks like you need some help too.”
Titanic then proceeded to eat his remaining 12 burgers as well. Temporarily sated, with his belly bulging with 80 King burgers (95 pounds of food!), he made his way to the sponsor’s podium.
“Titanic Takazi, our Champion!” said the announcer. “What an appetite, ladies and gentleman!”
The sponsor thanked Titanic too, praising his size and hunger effusively, welcoming him “anytime you want to repeat this great feat” into their restaurants. When the announcer was finally coming to the end, he joked with Titanic, “Now I suppose you’ll head home to sleep all this off.”
“No,” replied Titanic, “I have another appointment today, at noon, that I don’t want to miss.”
“Oh, are you making a personal appearance?”
“You could say that. It’s another eating contest,” Titanic announced, and started to walk off the stage.
“Wait a minute, Titanic,” said the announcer. “You can’t just leave us hanging like that. Another eating contest?”
“Sure,” replied Titanic, “it’s a pie eating contest. I like to eat a balanced diet,” he went on, and then, rubbing his hand provocatively over his well-rounded gut, he strode heavily off the platform and over to his wife.
The organisers of the hamburger eating contest gave the pie eating contest people a courtesy phone call, so they weren’t completely caught off guard when one of their registered competitors turned out to be Titanic (they had wondered, as one of their competitors had registered under “Mr. T. Big”). The pie eating contest was the Gigantean classic pie contest, with the winner being the man who consumed the most pies in 20 minutes. Ti smoked his competition, downing 20 pies in the 20 minutes. He could probably have downed another half or so, but his nearest competitor was a full four pies behind him. His wife, keeping loving track of her vast husband’s prodigious intake, noted that 20 pies were another 45 pounds of food consumed, making 140 pounds of food consumed so far that day.
And Titanic wasn’t done yet. As the pie eating contest folks presented him with his trophy, he whispered into the microphone, “And now for the ice cream.”
To the delight of his fans, Titanic went straight from the pie eating contest to an ice cream eating contest “for a treat.” Many of the spectators at the ice cream eating contest expected him only to make a ceremonial appearance - after all, this was a man who had already eating 140 pounds of food - but they underestimated both Titanic’s determination to put on a show and his astounding capacity for food. By the time the closing gong of the ice cream contest sounded, Titanic had gobbled down 15 litres of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, a total of 34 pounds of frozen goodness that made him eating champion for the third time that day! His wife, beaming, slipped him a note that he took up on stage with him as he received his award. It read, “You’ve eaten 174 pounds of food today in these three contests. I love you!”
Calculations show that Titanic consumed nearly one-third of a million calories in the 174 pounds of food he ate that day in the three contests. Despite this gluttony, the Sumo Journal later trumpeted the news that Titanic still had his usual bedtime drink of a gallon of chocolate milk that evening, and had his “normal breakfast” the next day.
When he went to workout in the sumo centre, he weighed in at 1056 pounds - his mighty body had already processed and eliminated more than 100 pounds of the food he had eaten the day before. Three days later, he was down to a “svelte” 1010 pounds, and preparing for his next eating contest.
Public demonstrations of his eating prowess, such as the day just outlined, only add to Titanic’s celebrity - and to sumo’s status. Thanks to his colossal size and strength and awe-inspiring feats of consumption, Titanic is seen as a paragon of Gigantean manhood. His is very much in demand to father Gigantean children, now that he's become a contibutor to Gigantia’s sperm bank.
Of course, Titanic is not alone in his gormandising exploits - he has lots of company, especially in among other sumos. One young up and coming sumo with gluttonous credentials to rival Titanic is Dumptruck. Of course, at just 780 pounds, he doesn’t have Titanic’s capacity - yet. But his percentages are excellent, actually higher than Titanic’s (he has put away 140 pounds of food in a day, or 18% of his body weight) and he is still growing - rapidly!
Another young sumo of note is FatBear, who was a former member of an “800 by 18" teenage fat gang. When he didn’t quite make 800 pounds by his 18th birthday, he went looking for something else “to do”, and tried out sumo wrestling thanks to his sumo-wrestling first cousin Jacob, who wrestles under the name Monsteroshi. After a rough start, FatBear really took to sumo wrestling, gaining a substantial following very quickly - not the least because he has continued to gain weight, while gaining sumo prowess. In fact, as a sumo, FatBear has packed on the pounds faster than he did as a fat teen! He has put on more than 200 pounds in the last two years so that he is now pushing the half-ton mark at 989 pounds. However, he is still only in the Champion rank (500+ pounds), as he is in “catch-up” mode on the muscle side - as a fat teen, he made no attempt to add muscle to his frame - and due to his limited strength he can be defeated by sumos much smaller than he. He has been adding muscle quite rapidly - 140 pounds of the 213 pounds he has gained as a sumo are calculated to be muscle - but he is still not as strong as other sumos of his weight – though his gut has shrunk by more than two feet, while his chest has grown. Fatbear works hard and eats heavy, so his sumo record is steadily getting better. For now, he is the heaviest Champion rank sumo, and another three victories over Hero rank sumos will see him move up to Hero rank. FatBear also does increasingly well in eating competitions.
In a subtle acknowledge of the considerable success of Gigantean sumo, a group of Japanese scientists (dieticians, biomechanicians, endocrinologists, internal medicine specialists, sports medicine specialists, medical biochemists) recently invited a group of Gigantean sumos to Japan to participate in a special study. The “man-whales” (as the Japanese public has tagged them) live in a special centre set up to accommodate their size and meet their daily needs for food and work-outs, while permitting the scientists easy observation of their daily routines. The visiting Giganteans have agreed to quite extensive, regular medical exams and blood sampling. In return they are paid well, put on sumo demonstrations in various parts of Japan, and either fly home to visit their families regularly, or have their families visit them. Flying sumos of Gigantean size around is a great challenge - they hardly fit in ordinary airline seats, either coach or business class! Gigantean Airlines has planes with seats to fit, but the sumos visiting Japan often go in specially chartered aircraft.
Most other sports in Gigantia have been modified in the way Sumo has, with a deliberate indigenisation of the rules, playing field, etc. in order to favour bigger players. Showy, exhibitionist sports that put a premium on strength and mass are the most popular, among both participants and spectators.
US-style football, although a relatively recent import, very clearly exhibits the Gigantean trend to change the rules of sports in order to “better match Gigantean conditions”, i.e., to favour bigger players. In the U.S, football already gives an advantage to the larger player; this made it a natural for adaptation to Gigantean conditions. However, the players that have resulted from its indigenisation would scarcely be recognised by American fans, as they are truly, truly massive; this, combined with the showy nature of the game has made football very popular in Gigantia. Only sumo has a larger following.
To adapt the sport, Gigantean football “cherry-picked” through the various versions of football - NFL, CFL, Arena and arena2, NCAA, Pop Warner, Australian rules, even rugby - to finally create a game that suits Gigantean tastes, players, and conditions. The Gigantean football field, for example, is the Arena football field, just 50 yards long and 85 feet wide. This smaller size is justified as being more “intimate”, but it also accommodates the lower mobility of gigantic Gigantean football stars. Such a small field de-emphasizes running, emphasizing instead throwing and tackling - especially tackling, which is a crowd pleaser in Gigantia. Unlike Arena football, however, Gigantean League players specialise in playing either offensive or defensive positions as in NFL, not switching as they do in Arena - this allows better assignment to position by strength, size, and mobility, allowing larger and fatter players to specialise in positions where their additional size is an advantage and their lessened mobility not such a drawback. Allowing specialisation also allows for growth - as guys grow bigger and get slower, they can “move up” through the positions. Some begin as quarterbacks, and hundreds of additional pounds later end up as centers.
Football in Gigantia sees less running than in the NFL (or any other football league); what running happens is really sprinting over very short distances. The sprinting part of the game is appealing to many spectators, though, as thanks to the enormous size of the beefed-up players, tackles are a truly spectacular sight - and sound! (The reduction in running, though, is most clearly shown in what is expected of the players in sprints - where American teams expect their players to do 40 yard sprints, Gigantean players practise 12 yard sprints. Unlike the US, data on the results are included in Gigantean player stats!) Tackling is very popular with spectators, though what draws the most female spectators is not the football action on the field per se, but the visual intrigue of all those immense bellies and butts clad in skin-tight football uniforms. Seats behind the benches are the most sought after. Football is extremely popular as a spectator sport with Gigantean women, thanks to the size, power, and strength of football players, plus the skin tight uniforms they wear. Individual player stats are followed avidly, and include items frequently overlooked or ignored in regular US football stats, such as an accurate weight, waist, gut and chest sizes, and caloric consumption.
“Size Rules” in Gigantean football, as everywhere else in Gigantean life; the Gigantean game today sees 350 pounds as a minimum for quarterbacks, and 600 pound tackles are increasingly common. One interesting feature of Gigantean football is how most of its players “grow” their way through the league. Like the vast majority of Gigantean guys, footballers are always growing. They add weight continually throughout their playing careers, typically starting out as one of the lighter, faster guys occupying one of the running positions (running back, quarterback). As their guts and bodies flesh out and they slow down they transfer progressively through the positions on the team. With each change they move to a position where their greater mass is relatively more effective and their diminished speed is less important, until they finally grow into the realm of utter hugeness as offensive linemen. The most mobile among the biggest end up as centers.
In Gigantean football, there’s none of constant pressures of “having to make weight” that bigger football players face in the NFL; no one tries to limit the size and mass of Gigantean football players! If a Gigantean football player grows too big and slow for one position, the coach just moves him to another where the team can make use of his newfound mass. (If a player simply grows bigger, but works hard and doesn’t get slower, then he usually stays where he is, of course - more mass at the same speed is always an advantage.) Growing beyond one’s ability to play is increasingly common among Gigantean footballers, especially among the bigger guys - of course, "overweight" football players are still very popular with female fans, and often end up becoming officials, coaches or commentators. Guys who have grown too heavy for football but want to remain active in sports make good prospects for wrestling or sumo; the Sumo League actively recruits from football teams. “Overweight” football players are also much sought after as husbands.
The origin of the Gigantean game: Football in Gigantia traces its roots back to attempts by US football talent scouts, viewing Gigantean athletes at the track and field and gymnastics portions of the Olympic Games, to recruit those massive, muscular Gigantean Olympians to become football players in the NFL. This attempt foundered on the question of the Gigantean Olympians’ sheer size, which was found incompatible with the much smaller average bulk of US players; attempts to “slim-down” Gigantean players were not successful - the severe diets prescribed sapped the Gigantean’s strength while only inadequately reducing their size.
In fact, due to the rough nature of the NFL, many of the imported Gigantean players actually grew bigger; as their bodies, in response to the great physical battering of football, put on great amounts of fat as a defensive reaction. American 250 pound offensive linemen simply were simply outclassed and crushed by their 500+ pound Gigantean defensive opponents. Games got slower and slower; uniforms got larger and larger. After a couple of seasons of frustration and growing injuries, the Gigantean players were returned home with severance packages. They brought US Football back with them to Gigantia.
Football is extremely popular as a spectator sport with Gigantean women, thanks to the size, power, and strength of football players, plus the skin tight uniforms they wear. Individual player stats are followed avidly, and include items frequently overlooked or ignored in regular US football stats, such as an accurate weight, waist, gut and chest sizes, and caloric consumption.
One of the most popular features of Gigantean football, both with the mammoth players and their adoring fans, are the extensive “team dinners” after each game. These glorious gorge-fests originated in the idea that football players should eat after games to provide protein to help repair their muscles, and to replace the energy and pounds burnt off during the game. While those are still the “official” reasons for the dinners, in practice they have evolved into full-blown eating contests pitting the two teams against one another, with that day’s losers on the field trying to make up their loss by beating the winners at food consumption.
The end result of these dinners is that most football players end each game day substantially heavier than they were at the start of the day. Naturally, the sight of such massive calorie ingestion and the resulting weight gains on already hulking guys are hugely popular among the spouses, friends and fans of Gigantean football players, who love to watch their men grow. Fans avidly observe and support these gorging contests, encouraging their favourite heavyweights. These dinners certainly encourage growing beyond one’s ability to play, especially among the already heavier defensive players; their gain is not a loss to the Gigantean sporting world, however, because (as previously mentioned), football players who grow too much often go on to wrestling or sumo.
These after-game dinners, and the overconsumption they inspire, are the probable cause of one of the interesting bits of trivia in this year’s football stats: the Turtleford Hogs, the heaviest team in the league with an average player weight over 600 pounds, are also the team with the worst win-loss record in the league, despite the advantages normally ascribed to superior mass in football (especially Gigantean football!).
However, the T-Hogs boast that, while they may not win football games, they never lose the “team dinner” eating contest after a game, which leads football fans and commentators to pose the question:
Are the T-Hogs so slow because they eat so much?
Or do they eat so much because they are so slow?
Many observers believer that the current T-Hogs have developed their ability to gorge in order to compensate for their inability to win games. (Close observation of their eating habits in the off season suggest that they pig out year round - but that’s common behaviour for Gigantean football players.) A few football fans maintain that if only the T-Hogs would lay off the chow for a bit, they’d soon be winning games. Their coach, who would know, isn’t saying; their rich team owner’s preference for bigger players is well known, though, and as long as she pays the bills, her players are content to grow.
At any rate, the T-Hogs’ win-loss record keeps worsening as the team members’ waistlines keep spreading, reinforcing each other in a wonderful positive feedback cycle - and the T-Hogs’ popularity with female football fans grows even faster than their waistlines. Nowhere else would such a bunch of losing players be so loudly cheered. T-Hogs games are a consistent sell-out, despite their losing record. Women absolutely adore them....their fan club is bulging at the seams, and the T-Hogs team calendar this year came in multiple versions, and was still an early sell-out. Turtleford Hogs team sweats and jerseys are turning up on the backs of female fans and young male jocks across Gigantia. They are the most profitable team in the League, which has many other team owners wondering if they need to change strategy.....
The T-Hogs’ heaviest player, who is also the heaviest player in the Gigantean Football League, is their massive offensive center, Tom “the Tub” Garta., who at age 28 is a gloriously obese 714 pounds. “The Tub” sports the largest gut in the league, an 83 inch ‘equator’.
“The term ‘waistline,’” according to Tom, “is an inadequate word for my gut. There’s no ‘waste’ here - it’s all useful fat!”
Tom’s official job with the T-Hogs’ offense is to “plug up” the centre of the T-Hogs’ line, stopping opposing tackles (who often weigh a mere 400-500 pounds) from getting up the centre to the T-Hogs quarterback. "The Tub" does this fairly well; fortunately, given his size, he doesn’t have to move very far or fast from his starting position. Like most Gigantean football players, Tom has an enormous amount of muscle under his incredible layers of fat, so his limited mobility is not too serious a problem for him on the field - yet! Still, his uniform bulges and strains to hold in the more than 300 pounds of fat he lugs around with him - and that stressed spandex becomes a truly awesome sight when he sprints (which he can do! - he has recorded stats for the 12 yard sprint).
The real job that the T-Hogs have given “the Tub”, though, seems to be as “clean-up man” at their après-game team dinners. Thanks to his massive gut and equally massive appetite, Tom gormandizes a sumo-like 58,000 calories (40 pounds) of food on an average day; he can put away 77 pounds of food, 11% of his bodyweight, at a single team dinner! (Tom says he is “working hard” to increase this to 85 pounds of food, a truly cool 12% of his bodymass. How much weight he gains while in pursuit of this goal, remains to be seen.) Thus, along with his League-leading weight and best-in-League waistline, Tom claims to have the largest appetite in the Gigantean Football League. Thanks to his football fame, ponderous gut- and bottom-heavy physique, and enormous gormandising ability, Tom makes a good second income as a poster boy and calendar model; he is found as a pin-up in school lockers across Gigantia. He also makes “personal appearances” at women’s clubs all over Gigantia - usually when they’re having lunch! He has been a defensive lineman for a long time, having topped the quarter-ton mark before he turned 22.
Joanna, one of Tom’s most avid fans, has season tickets and comes to every T-Hogs’ game. She can describe in loving detail what she most likes about her favourite footballer.
“Well, there’s his gut, of course. Magnificent. Hangs out so beautifully and bounces so well when he walks. Wouldn’t I like to ride on that mound of flesh some night! And his butt is magnificent too, especially when he’s out on the field all in spandex - it’s just so big, and so round, and moves so well. I could watch his backside all night. I love his thick, thick, arms too - he hugged me once when I got his autograph, and I was in heaven! It’s like being hugged by a mountain of warm flesh. And I love how he moves on the field - so much power, to move all that lovely bouncing flab. And when he just stands there and the other players rebound off him - wow!
“Of course, though, the thing I love most about the Tub is his appetite. I send him food regularly, you know, and I go to see all the T-Hogs dinners - I even follow him at eating competitions. He can eat so much - it’s just great, to see him downing steak after steak, drinking beer after beer, packing away the ice cream and cake - he’s a great eater. And knowing that all that is just going to make him so much bigger is even better. My university women’s club had him as guest speaker - of course, that means guest eater! - at one of our luncheons, and everyone in the club got a chance to feed him! I hope he never retires from football - I think they should embrace fatness in football and change the rules to make all the other players gain more weight so he can keep playing. I love to watch him play.”
The rest of Turtleford Hogs team are no slouches, either, when it comes to personal mass or to gorging capacity. Tom’s two stalwart companions on the T-Hogs’ offensive line - and at the T-Hogs’ dinner table - are tackles “Dan the Man”, 31, at 695 pounds, and “Martin the Massive”, 30, at 667 pounds. All three of these beefed-up hogs have BMIs over 80s, and are more than six feet around the gut - bigger around than they are tall - not to mention having appetites that combined demand more than 150,000 calories a day. At team dinners, Dan and Martin can both dispatch 75 pounds of food, nearly equalling Tom’s 77 pound consumption capacity. (For Martin, 75 pounds of food is 11.2 percent of his bodyweight.) The three have quite a rivalry going - although Martin is the lightest daily eater, he claims he will soon best “the Tub” in gorging, which would mean that he’ll be downing more twelve percent of his body mass in one meal. The three regularly do eating contests together. The three of them jointly pose for posters and calendars, and make guest appearances together as well, where women and girls can drool after their massive “Buddha bellies”. Together they call themselves the “One Ton Trio”.
Even the T-Hogs’ 22 year old quarterback is a relatively hefty hoofer - Steve (“Express Truck”) barely fits into the “light and fleet of foot” category expected of quarterbacks even in Gigantia, as he carries a muscular 432 pounds on his 6'3" frame - nearly 100 pounds more than the “average” Gigantean quarterback. He has a bottom-heavy pear shaped physique, so he carries his “heaviest quarterback in the League” status with surprising speed and agility; not unsurprisingly, he also has the heroically muscular arms and shoulders necessary to throw the football for passes. Despite being much lighter than many of his teammates, he has fervent female fans; as one of them puts it, Steve “fills out his jeans nicely”. Indeed he does. Steve’s jeans are far tighter than his uniform pants. If Levi Strauss ever discovered just how his butt and thighs strain a pair of their jeans...being the Gigantean made version of Levi’s, they have the triple stitched seams, which are well and truly tested everytime Steve flexes his mighty glutes and quads. That Steve can pull on jeans that tight, is obvious testament to the power in his hands and arms. That they survive a few hours on him is testament to the toughness of denim and the goodness of their stitching.
But in gorging terms, Steve fits right in with the T-Hogs too, as he has an appetite big enough for an “Express Truck” - he contributes appreciably to the T-Hog’s gormandizing, needing more than 32,000 calories a day just to maintain his magnificent mass. Even better for the after-game gorge-fests, he is able to “sprint” to 40 pounds of food at a single sitting! (A type of “sprinting” that he enjoys much more than the “running” kind.) Tom the Tub has been heard to remark that by the time Steve is thirty, he’ll be a big fat center just like Tom - and many of the T-Hogs’ fans agree. Steve himself has never expressed a view one way or the other - but his steady weight gain does suggest where he's going...
Johan Lake Whales
The Goldtown Payloads
Rapid City Raptors
Tug-of-war is popular both at the school level, and as an adult sport. Gigantean tug-of-war is always done in teams of eight. On the school level teams are divided into weight classes for competition; up to 1600 pounds, 1600-2200 pounds, 2200 - 2800 pounds, 2800-3400 pounds, 3400-4000 pounds, and over 4000 pounds. High School tug-of-war participants refer to the heaviest weight class as Xtreme tug-of-war; many aspire to join such teams.
As an adult sport tug-of-war is undergoing an enormous expansion in its popularity, thanks in part to its compatibility with the growing size of Gigantean males. Originally, adult competitions ran without any weight classes, but now adult teams also compete by weight class; under 3400 pounds, 3400-4200 pounds, 4200-5000 pounds, and over 5000 pounds, usually called “unlimited mass”. While the school weight classes are set up based on a team of members of equal weight (eight 200 pounders, eight 350 pounders, etc.), the adult weight classes are set up, more reasonably, on the observation that the anchorman is an “anchor”; typically he’s much heavier than his team mates. The wrestling association uses the reasonable assumption that an anchorman will on average outweigh his teammates by about 200 pounds; hence they calculate a team at the 3400 pound mark would be expected to comprise seven 400 pound tuggers and a 600 pound anchor, a 4200 pound team seven 500 pound tuggers and a 700 pound anchor, and so on.
The top “unlimited mass” category has now seen some 6000+ pound teams, an average of more than 750 pounds per team member. The Sumo League, and the retired sumos association, are both planning to field teams in the coming year; the retired sumos association predicts that their team will exceed 8000 pounds, and comments that they are “in hard training” right now. An investigative reporter for the “Sumo News” went in search of the retired sumos’ team, and as far as she was able to determine, “hard training” consisted of an additional snack each day, and a daily walk or swim. Her page two story featuring the retired sumos’ planned anchor, a vast 1300 pounder named Suwanee Sam, caught the eye of many sumo fanciers, as the nearly immobile Sam explained how he was practising by attempting to walk backwards around his yard, and leaning up against poles and walls and trucks and pushing... and occasionally, the pole or wall would lose!
The rise in the number of teams in the top weight categories, both school and adult, has tug-of-war officials considering adding another weight category, using the same weight divisions as before; thus, a new weight class of 4000-4600 pounds would be added for the schools, and the top class schools class would become over 4600 pounds(an average minimum weight of 575 pounds), while the adult category would see the addition of a 5000-5800 pound class, and the “unlimited mass” class would be over 5800 pounds (an average minimum weight of 725 pounds, though the basis would be seven 700 pound tuggers with a 900 pound anchor).
Because of the size of the participants, and the strain that sustained tugging puts on them, tug-of-war raises questions about fitness and survival for those who take part. Because tug-of-war is a showy spectacle with an athletic air, but does not require great mobility, and to a greater extent than most Gigantean sports rewards extra sheer mass, many of the newly greatly fattened and more sedentary Gigantean males are now taking part, alongside their more athletic brethren. A number of these sedentary superfat fellows have had heart attacks while taking part in drawn-out contests, particularly those immobile male blimps serving as anchors (a position traditionally reserved for the largest and heaviest (fattest) member of the team).
Some observers and officials feel that a time limit should be imposed on each pull, to reduce the risk - it has been noted that most of the heart attacks occur during long, drawn out, nearly stationary pulls, which are increasingly common in the higher weight classes. Others, including most participants (“tuggers”), take a more Darwinian approach, and suggest that the traditional method of tug-of-war “weeds out” those who aren’t “real Gigantean men” - i.e., those who shouldn’t be pulling in tug-of-war in the first place, because they’re not strong enough to withstand the sport. Some even argue that the heart attacks among the sedentary will improve the overall Gigantean male genetic base, by weeding out those weaker men whose bodies can’t “take the weight”. So far, no changes in the rules (other than those creating heavier weight classes) have been approved of by the governing league.
is an extensively developed sport in Gigantia. Wrestling is popular on every level, from the casual encounters between friends on a weekend (or to settle an argument) to the full Greco-Roman national tournaments. Unfortunately, the current international upper weight limit for amateur wrestlers stops nearly all Giganteans from competing outside their own country, but Gigantia now hosts an "unofficial" international competition every year, with classes organized at all weights, without an upper weight limit. This tournament provides an outlet not only for its own athletes, but for the supersized amateur wrestlers of other countries.
As the number of competitors in the “superheavyweight” classes has grown, additional divisions to the upper weights have been introduced. The top class’s name has been fixed at “ultraweight”, and Gigantean sports authorities are committed to having this class continue to not have a maximum weight, only a minimum.
middleweight, light heavyweight, medium heavyweight, heavyweight, light superheavyweight, medium superheavyweight, superheavyweight, ( heavy superheavyweight - proposed), ultraweight.
Although gymnastics is not a sport one might immediately associate with people as large as the Giganteans typically are, it has a devoted following among younger people, especially teenage males of muscular build. Like other countries’ male gymnastics, Gigantean gymnasts are “built”; however, compared to other countries’ gymnasts, Gigantean gymnasts are “built” on an industrial scale. Gigantean gymnasts are young but BIG, built on the scale of Western weightlifters rather than gymnasts, with fabulous muscling, and the low bodyfat percentages typical of all gymnasts.
Gigantean gymnasts are able to do gymnastic routines only because they are incredibly powerful, especially through the chest and arms. Six foot tall, 275 pound gymnasts with bulging 64" chests and 25" upper arms are not unknown; they make their way though routines on the rings and parallel bars by sheer power.
They have, to Western eyes, almost cartoonish proportions - and to Gigantean eyes too, as they have narrow muscular waists in the 30-32 inch range, generally, and thighs of the same (or greater) size. Only a few Gigantean males have the genetics to achieve such incredible shape, but those who do are well celebrated - and once their gymnastic careers are over (they generally peak at 16 or 17, and by 19 are finished) they are expected to bulk up - beautifully. Incredible as it sounds, there are 500+ pound Gigantean footballers in their mid-20s who were gymnasts at 16, and even one 850 pound Gigantean sumo who at 17 came third in the national gymnastics championships - in the decade since that triumph he has averaged a gain of 60 pounds a year.
Also popular, particularly Power lifting. Of course, given their size and body-types, male Giganteans ought to excel at lifting weights, as they do it daily... Gigantean powerlifters expect to lift what they weigh, and weigh what they lift. (Initially in bench-press terms, of course, but at the biggest weights...) Gigantia is perhaps the only society where active weightlifters can have guts further around than their heights, and still lift competitively. Weightlifting is also necessary training for many of the sports Giganteans love, including football and sumo.
once existed, but has been modified and replaced by generalized "bulk-building" - a mixture of weightlifting, muscle development, and fat addition, to achieve certain looks and sizes. Bulkbuilding for boys and teens is the special province of the summer Fat Camp, q.v.
Swimming and diving
are very popular, forming a major part of Gigantia's extensive "beach culture" on inland lakes. Giganteans love going to the beach, and water play, including swimming, is a big part of that. Of course, as guys have gotten bigger, their 'bathing costumes' have gotten smaller - no massive 'trunks' here, Speedos are the norm.
(While the rocky seacoast has long been inaccessible, Gigantia is now seeing the beginning of development of resorts on rocky coast line, thanks to a new railway tunnel through the mountains, and the establishment of a port on the ocean. This port (Port Anton) is also home to Gigantean cruise lines. Beaches among the rocks are still being created.)
Competitive swimming has a popular following - both on the beach and at the pool. To prevent any advantages being gained by smaller competitors, Gigantean competitive swimming has traditionally had weight classes. Given the success of “numerical weight adjusting” now being used in the Oblympics, the Gigantean swimming association is considering moving to a similar sort of numerical weight compensating system for swimming competitions. The only problem is that race results wouldn’t be obvious until the adjustment had been made - it's hard to have swimmers start in mid-pool - which would make the races visually less interesting. Marked lane ropes are being tested.
Volleyball - specifically beach volleyball - is increasingly popular among Gigantean men, mostly because of the "exhibitionist" quality of beach volleyball, and its excellent fit with the Gigantia’s extensive “beach culture”. Getting out in the sunshine is part of Gigantean culture, and the beach a favoured destination for recreation - so beach volleyball is a perfect fit. The opportunities to be a spectator and a voyeur are, of course, appreciated by Gigantean women.
Gigantean men’s beach volleyball is usually four a side; two a side, as found elsewhere, is rare, because of greater difficulties encountered by two big Gigantean guys in covering a volleyball court, even a smaller one. Given their desire to show themselves off, rather than trunks, naturally the skimpiest Speedos are favoured by most players, though some of the largest players wear shorty spandex body suits, for added flab control during quick lunges and spikes. Games go to 15, rather than 25 points, so as not to overtire the players; of course, it’s all generally very casual, and not unknown for a team to call for a water, food, or even beer break!
A recent import from Britain. Its appeal, to a society full of guys with vast guts, is obvious. Often used to settle arguments in bars. One of the TV networks is planning to run a prime time competition series next year.
Baseball and hockey have followings. Softball, with its slower speeds and bigger balls, is steadily replacing baseball, as part of the general move to slower sports, including darts, bowling, and pool.
Soccer is not very popular, except among the youngest children, because of the great amount of running required - Gigantean guys mostly don’t like to run.
Running is not very popular, nor are sports that require much running. Gigantean guys don’t like running very much, and running is also discouraged by many Gigantean women, because of its tendency to make participants leaner.