Sometimes you don't even know that help is already on the way.
| Sometimes, it's just to hard to write. No. Forget it. You are asking too much. The chaos of life is overwhelming right now. Besides having a 12:00 midnight deadline; the kids won't go to sleep. I have to keep yelling at them, and yelling at them. Why do they push it? I don't want to give out spankings, but they leave no other alternative. Reasoning certainly doesn't work. Ugggggh, I just heard a door slam, and then a thud. Any minute now....it's coming....wait one more second...there it is! The inevitable scream of my three year old daughter. Oh no, she's not hurt or anything. Her eight year old sister merely shut the door and jumped back in bed, because she knows that having the door shut will make her sister scream, thus causing me to yell at her sister. However, I do not yell at her sister, Oh no, I yell at her; but that is also just as well, because now she gets to whine at the top of her lungs, "but I didn't do anything", and then put some kind of self-rightous pout on her face as she glares at me. As if she has it so hard. Yes, I go through this every single night. But tonight, I am trying to write and that makes it worse.
Oh, and did you know I have a bird? The tiny, not even a year old yet, sun conure is screeching at the top of his lungs right behind me. He does not know how to talk! I could kill my husband for buying him. To spend $250.00 on a bird that spends all it's free time screeching; and believe me, a bird has a lot of free time, I mean, you just don't see many sun conures running around with a little birdie briefcase exclaiming, "Oh if I could only get some rest"!
My head is pounding. I should just forget it all and go work out. But, that 12:00 midnight deadline...
Why even bother? It's my own fault, I never plan properly. I don't mean to not plan, it just happens. Life happens. Why even bother? Because I want to! I like to write! Why does having children, a job, a husband, a house, and a bird mean I have to give up every single thing?
I didn't even mention the dogs. Two of the smelliest, rowdiest, ugliest mutts you ever met. "Get them groomed"! I tell my husband, they're his dogs of course. He 'rescued' them. Who is going to rescue me? Why did I ever marry him? Oh, yea, okay, I hear what you're thinking. "Listen to her, complaining, blaming her husband because she can't control her environment". Yea? Well, you've thought it too. You've said it too. You've been before, where I'm at now, and if you haven't...WELL YOU WILL! Mark my words, we all get 'here' someday! Dear GOD PLEASE stop all this racket, and INSPIRE me to write SOMETHING!
Hey...listen...do you hear that? Neither do I. The house is quiet. Thank You Jesus, the kids finally went to sleep. But that bird...well... I haven't heard the bird for a while now. Even the dogs are laying down asleep. What's the time? It's 10:02pm, I can still make that deadline! Now, what should I write about... Oh...I've already written quite a bit. Wow! Talk about your answered prayer. That was like; instantaneous.
My husband is so wonderful. He's the one who lead me to have a personal relationship with God, and look! I turned to God, and He was there. I prayed and He answered. Life is just so good.
You know, it's the little things we should be thankful for. The blessings that God sends our way every single day. Oh yes, the little things mean the most. Small blessings... What? My blessings? That's easy. The two precious little girls dreaming in their beds. The beautiful little bird that makes me laugh as he bobs his head to KC and The Sunshine Band. Two wonderful dogs who are faithful to guard our sleep every single night, and greet us every day. Of course, my beautiful, wonderful husband who loves and protects me. But most of all? God, because He rescues me...Always.