A date with the girl of my dreams
|Lust & Gluttony
My perfect romance began the day I realized I couldn’t stop lusting after girls, and the embarrassing events that followed because of it.
It seems funny now, how I never seemed to notice them before. I mean, I knew they were there, but not until I had reached the age of fourteen did I really sense their wonderful presence.
Girls would walk by me at school, whispering and giggling to each other, and I, as if I had never seen one previously, would just stare at them, completely mesmerized, mouth hanging open.
Girls were all I could think about: the tall, the short, the thin, and fat; how they looked, smelled, and felt; the way they walked, talked, and smiled, I loved everything about them--everything!
There was this one girl, Cheri was her name. I’ll never forget her, and I’m sure, she’ll never forget me, or our first date.
She sat in the third seat, second row, of Mr. Scott’s Geometry class. Slight of body, Cheri moved with grace across the classroom, her enormous breasts dancing a pagan ritual beneath her tight-knit sweater; the sun filled her blond hair, that hung to her shoulders and framed her narrow face. She was a girl with immense confidence, pouting lips, and sky-blue eyes, truly a vision to behold. And I was born to love her.
In High School, I was known as the class clown--not an easy status to attain in the sixties I assure you. Punishment still ran rampant across school grounds everywhere, and I had gotten my butt tanned on more than one occasion. But boys will be boys, right? All I really wanted was to get Cheri's attention. I just simply lacked the nerve to ask her out. Finally, one day, I cornered her at the school water fountain. . . .
“Hi, Cheri, can I talk to you, uh, just for a sec?” I must have sounded like an idiot.
“Sure! What’s going on?” She smiled at me. Her smile could melt ice cream.
“Are you like, uh, busy this weekend? 'Cos I’d really like to take you to the movies or something. You know, if you want to, uh, go?” I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth. I was asking the most popular girl in school for a date. I waited for the inevitable, ultimate rejection.
“Sure! That’d be great! Can we take Mark and Emma with us, you know, like a double date?”
“Mark and Emma?” I asked, dumbfounded. “Aren’t they seniors?”
“Yes, and both are very good friends of mine,” she said, with a look of "aren’t my friends good enough for you."
I knew Mark, he was in my P.E. class--quarterback for the Varsity Football team, and pretty much a total ass-hole. Emma, I had heard rumors about from several different guys in gym class. She was very popular with the football team.
“Okay,” I said. “That sounds great. I’ll pick ya up Saturday at eight, okay?”
“Fine, I’ll see you then. Bub-bye!” She wiggled her fingers at me as if to say "you’re dismissed now," then turned and walked away, just as cool as can be, back to her group of friends who waited for her in a small flock about twenty yards away, chittering to each other and giving me sidelong glances.
Boy, how do girls do that? They don’t ever get nervous like guys do. They stay calm and cool--in complete control of the entire situation.
Me, I stood there in complete shock. I really didn’t think she’d say, yes. But she did. She had said, yes. YES! It suddenly felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I was walking on air; life looked rosier to me than ever before, love took on a whole new meaning. I felt great! I had a date with the prettiest girl in class! The prettiest girl in the whole damn school! It was the start of a perfect day--a perfect romance!
The kids in my day went to drive-in movies. If you had a car and a cheap bottle of wine, you were ready for a night to remember.
When Saturday night rolled around, I had gotten a very long and boring lecture from my big brother before he turned his car keys over to me. He also said that there was a gallon of wine in the trunk of the car and for me not to drink it. I think his last words were, "or else."
I dressed as cool as possible, which is by no means an easy task when your Mom buys all your clothes at Sears, and at eight o’clock precisely, I arrived at Cheri’s house.
I went in to get her, which was a big mistake because I had to listen to another lecture from her Dad, who was an iron-grey-haired minister of some church or other. He told me about all the evils of teenage drinking, and how Satan was gathering up teenager's souls while they were young and stupid. It ended just like my brother’s lecture--a big "or else" right at the finish.
Then Cheri stepped into the room and my heart felt like it would literally burst from my chest. She was absolutely beautiful! My face flushed. I thought for sure they could see how gaw-gaw I was for her.
She wore a pink low-cut sweater, that fully showed the top half of her breasts. I was immediately hypnotized, my eyes frozen on the swelling and sinking of her chest with each breath she took.
“Hi, Bill! Are you ready to go?” She was as graceful as a pink flamingo, her breasts the rosy color of pimento. She looked so gorgeous that I had completely forgotten how to speak.
“Bill? Hey, Bill! Are you ready?”
“What, huh? Oh yeah, let’s go.”
I escorted Cheri to the car and opened the door for her just like I had seen all the gentlemen do in the movies.
“You look great, Cheri,” I said. “Just great!” Was there drool coming out of my mouth?
We drove to Mark’s place and picked him up with Emma.
“Hey, who’s this guy, Cheri?” asked Mark, laughing. “Are you sure he’s old enough to drive?”
Mark looked like he was chiseled from stone. He had a square head with a very short, stout neck, and sported a flat-top haircut greased down with pommade--it was pretty much what all the football players looked like.
“Mark, this is Bill. Bill, this is Mark and Emma,” said Cheri. “Mark’s the quarterback of the football team.”
“Another guy, Cheri?” teased Emma. “Are you collecting them, or what?”
Cheri gave Emma a look that could kill. “Bill’s very nice and we’re just going to the movies together, okay? Besides, you’ve got no room to talk, Emma!”
“I’ve seen you around,” said Emma, pointing at me. “You hang out with all those geeks that do the school newspaper, don’t ya?”
“Yeah . . . I guess.” I couldn’t have sounded anymore like a geek, but I tried to recover with, “I have my own column in the paper that I write every week called, ‘Bill’s Fables’, have you ever read it?”
“No, I don’t think so,” she said, as if I had just asked her if she had ever eaten human flesh before. “School newspaper? Never!”
Emma was very pretty, but tried to dress like she was a rock-star or something, which to me was fine, but made her appear to be a big phony. I guess being cool was really all she cared about, plus hanging out with the school football team, of course.
It was almost dark, so I headed for the drive-in. On the way, I made my first big blunder of the evening. “Hey, you guys like some wine?” I asked.
“Wine? Sure man, break it out!” said Mark, like a greedy wino. I pulled over and snagged the bottle from the trunk. I guess I wanted so much to be accepted by these guys. Now, for the life of me, I can’t understand why.
Mark uncapped it immediately and tipped the bottle, chugging several large gulps. He than passed it to Emma, who did the same. “Gonna have some fun tonight, heh, Billy-boy!” Mark shouted.
We paid the admission and I parked the car in the most out-of-the-way stall I could find. The bottle was passed up to us in the front seat. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The wine was nearly half gone and the movie hadn’t even started yet.
I offered some to Cheri. She slammed it back like a pro, wiping her mouth off on the back of her hand. “That tastes pretty good,” she said. I tried some myself. Yuck! It tasted like spoiled grape juice that burnt my gut when it finally hit bottom.
“Come on, man,” challenged Mark, “really drink some. It ain’t gonna kill ya.”
I drank another large amount. Whoa, this crap is terrible, I thought. I passed it back to them. I wanted to get it as far away from me as possible.
Reaching outside, I grabbed the speaker from the stand and hooked it to my window. I rolled the window up to hold the speaker in place then cranked the volume. We listened to the crackling static of the blown speaker playing commercial music and advertising the refreshment stand.
Cheri was looking at me with the bottle of wine sitting in her lap. I had never seen her look at me like that before. God, she was beautiful. She had a dreamy far-away look in her eyes and she appeared to be studying me. I noticed the bottle was almost empty. Geez, my brother was gonna kill me, but it was too late to turn back now.
The movie finally started. Mark and Emma were already going at it like two dogs in heat. All I could hear was them smooching, whispering and giggling with each other. The noise of Emma’s leather jacket sounded like it was being checked-out for some endurance test. Cheri slid over next to me and offered the wine again. I took another big slug, mostly because, at this point I felt quite nervous. The wine started to taste a little better.
She laid her head on my shoulder and I pretended to watch the movie. I looked at her and found myself staring down her low cut sweater. The view was incredible! She snuggled into me some more and the view became even better. Va-va-VOOM, what a rack! I put my arm around her and she turned her body slipping into my lap. She looked up at me and batted her eyelashes. I couldn’t resist. I kissed her full on the mouth. It was a very long kiss and my crotch felt like my pants had suddenly grown too small. I was in love! Cheri was everything I had ever dreamed about. My hand slid across her chest and she grabbed it, planting it firmly on her breast.
“Hey, you guys,” interrupted Mark, smirking with his head sticking over the back seat. “Break it up, will ya? I got some apricot brandy that I stoled from my folks. Ya wanna try it?”
“Sure!” said Cheri. “Let’s check it out.” The bottle was passed around and everybody took a big drink. Now this was more like it, I thought. This stuff tasted pretty darn good. Burned all the way down, but I started feeling more confident and in control of the situation now that the ice had finally been broken. We passed it around again, then got back to making-out. Cheri’s lips tasted like apricots and I devoured them.
We were halfway through the second movie. I can’t remember what it was, but everybody was having a good time. A really good time. My face was buried deep in breasts and, like a drowning sailor, I was never going to come up for air.
Suddenly, I began to feel whoosey. I quickly sat up and the world spun around in a hurry to catch up with me. “Hey look!” I bravely said. “There’s still some wine left. Anybody want it?”
“Go ahead and kill it, man,” said Mark with a slur. “It’s all yours.”
Like a idiot, I guzzled the last of the wine. It sure didn’t taste like that brandy we had finished. In fact, it tasted downright nasty! My stomach lurched.
“Are you okay?” asked Cheri, trying to button her sweater. “You look pale!”
Suddenly a great gush of liquid spewed out of my mouth and landed right on Cheri’s chest, filling her D-cups. The look on her face was nothing compared to the scream that came afterward.
Then another wave of puke shot out, but this time I moved my head a little and it landed in her lap. The smell made me wretch again, but nothing came out. It didn’t matter though, the damage was already done.
“Get away from me!” she yelled. “You're disgusting! Ahhh...!”
“I’m sorry,” I managed to say.
“It’s all over me! Everywhere!”
“Oh, man! That’s gross!” said Emma from the backseat.
“Here... let me help you clean it up,” I said.
“Don’t you touch me!” she screamed. “Take me home! RIGHT NOW!”
“Okay, okay,” I said, apologetically. My stomach was feeling a whole lot better now and my head finally stopped spinning.
I looked at Cheri and saw the purple-red wine stain all over her white sweater and pants. She looked so mad that I thought she was going to burst the blood vessel that I saw popping in and out at her temple. Everyone was in total shock and didn’t say a word.
I put the car in gear and began to slowly pull away. “Bang!” There was a loud explosion as the window on my side shattered into a million pieces. I immediately slammed on the brakes.
Tiny pieces of glass covered my lap and filled my seat; the floorboard sparkled. I looked out the window and saw the speaker torn out of its stand. It was lying there on the ground like a dead snake, glass everywhere.
“What a dork,” Mark said.
I had forgotten to unhook the speaker from my window. I dropped my forehead against the steering wheel and rested there. I remember looking up at the giant screen for some kind of help, some tid-bit of dialog that I might use to ease the situation. But the movie was over and they were showing nothing but helpful reminders about hanging up your speaker phone before pulling away from the stall. My life had just turned to crap.
I hardly remember getting everybody home. The girls got out at Mark’s house, without ever saying a word to me.
“Man, this car stinks!” said Mark, as he slammed the door. “Good luck, dude! You’re gonna need it!”
I drove home alone, freezing cold air hitting me in the face from a window that I couldn’t roll up, and a floorboard full of puke and glass.
I recall trying to think up some lame excuse to tell my brother, but I knew I was never going to get to use his car again, and on top of everything else, I was going to get clobbered.
Aside from all that, I had smile on my face that I couldn't wipe off. I had made-out with the best looking girl in the whole high school and felt the first pangs of young love. No matter what happened next, I had experienced the ‘perfect romance’.