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Rated: 13+ · Appendix · Drama · #790400
He lost his first love, she wants his love. How will it end? Please review!
Dear Readers,

Please rate my story. It will help me bunches. Tell me if the storyline is going well thus far. Enjoy and if you have something you would like me to read and rate email me.




         As Josh Turner sits in his charming office, he can still hear the screams and cries that filled the night sky in April. Every thought that enters his mind has been of his girlfriend, friends, and their girlfriends. He feels ashamed and sympathy for them, but far more for himself. He wanted to die that night right along with them. He had plans. He had hopes. He had dreams. All of which involved Morgan. He wanted her more than ever and had planned to propose to her that night in April. Even now, it is still as clear as day...
         Josh made plans two months in advance, he wanted everything to be perfect. He arranged for a carriage, which was drawn by a stunning white stallion with white mane and a tail that flowed gracefully behind him. He also had the ring designed just for her to make sure that it was one-of-a-kind. At the entrance of the small cottage, that he had also rented was a note that said, "All my life I have dreamed of finding someone to spend my life with. Someone who would complete me and make me feel whole, someone who gives me a reason to come home every night, someone like you." At the time he half expected Morgan to turn and run away, but she did not. She just kissed him and walked into the cottage. It was cool and decorated with faux Picasso's and Da Vinci, but it was still the best place that he could think of. They had been here before and loved every minute of it. It was their special place. The place where they first said they loved one another and the place that they first spoke of being with each other for the rest of their lives. In addition, it was the first place that they made love. That night was so special that he was not sure if he could top it, but he was going to try.
         "Mr. Turner,” a soft feminine voice says.
         He must have been day dreaming again because at first he did not even hear Ms. Eliza Cain, his secretary, calling his name at the door. She is beautiful in his mind. Eliza is average height with blonde hair so radiant and lovely that it would make a movie star jealous. Her legs are slender yet full in all the right places and she has a body that is every young man's fantasy. She is spectacular from the curve of her buttocks to the suppleness of her breasts. She is always nice and always has a smile to give even with the egotist bastards, which come in for counsel. He likes her a lot, but will not allow her know that.
         "Josh, your two o'clock appointment has arrived,” she said.
         "Sorry Eliza. I must have been daydreaming again. Send them in please," he says still disoriented from the daydream.
         He has been daydreaming about Morgan and his friends for nearly a month and often does not even realize that he is doing so. It is no surprise that this time had been the same. He was afraid at first after doing so well last year. He is afraid he was going to lose control, is going to lose his life all over again. His psychiatrist, Mr. Murray, quickly tells him that he is just feeling guilty for living, for being the soul survivor, and that he will be fine after some rest and relaxation. Even with Mr. Murray telling him to rest and relax for a while, he does no such thing. He has not been on a vacation since the night Morgan died. He has not even started to date again, though he has plenty of opportunities, he just cannot bring himself to do it.
* * *

         Eliza calls to Josh Turner on the intercom at her desk, but he never answered. She knocks on the office door but receives not even a small mumble so she opens the door and finally catches his attention when she says his name. He looks at her a little dazed, cloudy eyed, and she suspects that he was in one of his daydreams about that horrific day. She wishes that he would overcome it. She wants that more than ever so that he can notice her. She tries making advances at him, but he never catches hold of them. At times, she thinks about forgetting about him, but each time that she goes to bed at night she dreams of him. Josh is handsome, not in a model way, but still handsome. He has thick light brown hair, which he keeps trimmed, and has bluish-green eyes that are able to melt any women’s heart. She knows this and so do other women. Eliza has often found herself making love to him in her dreams. With his exposed body, lying close to her, she would lie there tracing her fingers down his smooth, tan back. Up and around his firm yet slightly squeezable buttocks. Then she would find herself licking his bare chest with her tongue, licking his nipples as the rise. She could also feel his penis rising, growing thick and strong. She like that liked it a lot.
         She feels embarrassed for thinking about him that way. He is her boss and does not want to lose him or her job over her lust for him. Doing so however is a challenge, more demanding than anything in her life has been thus far. She is young and vivacious and had needs, desires. The lust that she feels for him is often more than she can bear. At times, she will retreat to her personal bathroom to pleasure herself; much like a horny teenage boy might do so to satisfy his throbbing erection. She is not a teenager, though. She is a woman, a twenty-seven year old woman, with a strong sexuality that often needs fulfilling more than once a day. She wonders if he can hear her while she pleasures herself and if so what does he think. She hopes that he enjoys listening to her, enjoys hearing her moan softly.
         Aside from his sexual charisma, he also stimulates her mind. She likes that. She is a smart girl and only became a secretary to get the money needed to be a law student. They will often stay late talking about current affairs, famous painters, their favorite writers, and so much more. Once they strayed away from the subject of having sex before marriage and into pornographic movies. Though she is a Christian and goes to church every Sunday unless he needs at work she shamefully admits to having watched a few (which was somewhat of a lie, she owns over ten). Josh was a little shocked, but said that he liked a woman who could admit she has watched a little porn. She was flattered but still embarrassed for telling her boss that information.
         Now standing in the doorway in a three-piece suit that may be a bit too racy at other businesses she worries about him. She wants Josh to be better. She wants him to see that the past is forever lost in time and no matter how much we want to change it, we just cannot. We are only human. From birth to death, we will all face obstacles that will bring us joy and pain...

         Josh's meeting with the president and vice president of a retail chain went well, a little too well. He figures that they were hiding important facts from him that could save them from a million dollar lawsuit. However, if they will not speak about those things so then they would pay. He had always wanted to be a lawyer. He dreamed of protecting the innocent not the guilty, but somehow the police talked him into offering free counsel for low-life scum. He did not just hate it; he loathed it with a passion.
         Working with murders and other horrible people makes him want to abandon his work. However, in his heart, this is where he belongs. The only place that he belongs it seemed. During his college years, he wanted to be a child psychiatrist. He loved children and wanted to make all of them better. He wanted to help those that are with abusive parents, those that are rotting on a street corner, or those that were just going there a rough patch of life. More than anything, he wanted to save their futures. Therefore, while going for his Law degree he also minored in Psychology.
         The old saying 'The children are our future' is imprinted on his brain much as the brand on a cow flesh is imprinted. It will never fade; never lose its meaning to him.
* * *

         For Eliza today seems extremely long. She wants to get home before dark, run a bathtub full of water and bubbles and just soak for an hour. Tonight is her night to just relax, watch television, and eat the rest of a half-gallon ice cream container. Every Friday, to celebrate the end of the week, she does this ritual to clear her mind, free her soul, and rest for the weekend fun ahead. Though she is not a big drinker, she loves going to clubs with her girlfriends. Often she will find herself going home with a man that is not very handsome (compared to Josh) and will live at dawn. She always enjoys the sex with the strangers but she always feels empty inside afterwards. There is one man, Sam, who she has hooked up with on several occasions. She feels close to Sam who is only twenty-four and not looking for a commit, just a good time. They would talk, laugh, and make love. She told him about Josh and he told her about women that he liked but could not bring himself to ask out for dinner. She likes him but not like Josh. Sam is a great friend, but that is all.
         On Friday's she rents three movies, a comedy, a drama, and a thriller. On this Friday she decides to rent Anger Management, Sweet November, and the first Nightmare on Elm Street (an old one but still a good one).
* * *

         On the other side of town, Jonathan Howard is running through the streets trying to escape his abusive father. He hates his father so much that he dreams of killing him many nights. Jon is only thirteen years of age, but he knows just how cruel the world can be to a young man. Living with an alcoholic father and a mother, so high that she does not even know where she is, has made him grow up too fast. When he was nine his mother would trade him for drugs. In the exchange, the drug dealer who was a woman would sexual molest him or make him have intercourse with them. He was only a baby and now in many ways he still is. He is scared and alone in a world that is too cruel for a child of any age.
         Today will be the last day for anyone to hurt him. Before leaving the run-down apartment, he steals his father's pistol. He no longer desires to live in this world. He is tired of being a victim, tired of being hurt.
         He supposes that someone could love him, but he does not want to wait. All he wants is for someone to give him love; he wants someone to hug him, cry with him, and to save him.
         After running three blocks and then crossing the railroad tracks, he is in the cleaner part of town. The rich or semi-rich lived here. He wants to die here. Here were someone will find his body and his note.
         As he stares up at the ten-story apartment complex, which is hundred times nicer than that which he lives, he begins to cry. The tears flooded his eyes, his throat stung as he tries to hold back the tears. With bleary eyes, he runs across the two-lane road right into the front of a vehicle. He never sees the vehicle and at first thinks that he is going to die from the impact, but he does not. His head hits the pavement from the impact and knocks him unconscious.
* * *

         Josh sits at the red light on his way home. It has been a long day and he wants to go home, eat and just sleep. He is nearly two blocks from his studio apartment on the outskirts of town. When the light turns green, he punches the gas and hits green lights the rest of the way home. As he is coming through the last intersection, he sees a teenage boy in raggedy clothing and shoes that are tearing apart at the seams. He is wondering into the street. Josh has only a few seconds to brake before he hits the boy, but it is not enough. He hits him.
         Josh sit in his car horrified at first, unable to move. I have killed a boy, is all that is going through his mind. Finally, after a minute or less he regains his composure and steps out of the car to look at the boy. The boy is still breathing, thank god. The boys sandy brown hair looks as though it has not seen water in months and is in need of a cut. The boy also smells an awful smell, but he is still alive, unconscious but non-the-less alive.
         Josh calls for an ambulance and stands next to the boy waiting for them to arrive. He begins wondering if fate is apart of this not-so-lucky encounter. He has wanted someone to save. Did this boy need saving?
         Looking at the gun he realized that the boy probably needs saving. His soul needs saving. For a brief second Josh is glad that he hit him.

         Jon can hear people talking all around him but cannot make out what they are saying. Everything is dark and half-muted. He is not aware of the things that are happening to him or had happened to him.
         All of a sudden, he feels a prick on his arm and a woman’s voice telling him that everything will be all right. He is scared though. No one ever cared enough to tell him that he would be all right. He tries to open his eyes, but they feel heavy. He tries to speak, but all that came out was babbling sounds.
         “Honey, try not to talk. You have a nasty bump on your head from the accident and a broken leg, but you are going to fine. The medicine from surgery should wear off in a few minutes. If you can understand me squeeze my hand,” said the woman.
         He squeezes her hand and the heat from it feels wonderful. She has soft hands and a gentle voice that are like that of a mother who truly loves her children. He wants to cry because people are treating him so nicely.
         Jon wonders if God did not want him to die. He remembers the gun and the note, was his death not meant to be. Through his thirteen years of life, Jon never believed in God. Now lying in the hospital bed, he laughs to himself. There had been times in his life when he would talk to God, but never in a cheery way. Jon resented Him from making his life hell day after day. However, know he wants to believe that even through those hateful prayers God was always there for him.
* * *

         Josh waits in the waiting room hoping that the doctors would be willing to tell him about the boy’s condition. His mind keeps going back to the seconds before he hit the boy. He is afraid and thinks that it is a little ironic that on the one day he is speeding home an accident happens. He is more worried and afraid of what might happen to the boy than himself.
         The boy was brought to a hospital that would accept children and adults with little or no insurance. Josh never realized just how cold some people were until this day, for he had grown up in a high-class community. As a result, he was never aloud to make friends with people from the ‘wrong side of the tracks’. Josh for most of his childhood was sent to private schools that would offer him a finer education and where he might find and marry a well-bred girl. He, however, never wanted any of the girls at his school. He had always found them shallow and little clones of their mothers. He wanted someone unique, some special.
         After talking to a doctor who is, far too rude, he decides to talk with the nurse who had admitted the boy. She was nice looking with short hair to her chin and a smile that could brighten any patient’s day. She agrees to help him get the information. As she walks away, Josh thought about asking her out on a date. He was surprised at that thought. He had not wanted to date anyone in months and wondered why now things were changing.
         “The boy is fine,” she says as she re-enters the admittance area.
         “Was there anything seriously wrong,” he asks.
         “He had a broken leg and a large bump on is head from the impact with the concrete. Other than that he is fine.”
         “Thank God for that. What is the boy’s name?”
         “His name is Jonathan Howard. We got that name from him after he woke from the operation. You’re not his father I take it.”
         “No, unfortunately I was the one that hit him, on accident, of course.”
         “No one is going to judge you here, sir.”
         “I don’t mind being judged. I just want to help the boy.”
         “Well in that case you need to talk to the child protection people. They will be here in a few minutes.”
         “Why are they being called in? He has parents doesn’t he?”
         “I do not know, sir. Usually they only come when a parent is not fit to be taking care of children. That is the way it usually works.”
         “Thanks for your help.”
         “No problem.”
         He walks away and goes back to the waiting area. He is unclear as to what he is going to do, but he does not desire to go home. He wants to speak with the boy and the CPS people if he can. More than anything, he just wants to be able to help the boy. For now, though he decides to call Eliza.
* * *

         Eliza’s telephone rang five times before she actually decided to pick it. She was not expecting a call tonight, especially not from Josh. She was still in the bathtub while she talked to him. His voice sounded unlike him and made her feel slightly worried. He hardly ever called her, but when he did it was always important, tonight was not any different.
         “Eliza, I did something bad,” he says.
         “What do you mean? What did you do?” she asks.
         “I hit a boy. He is fine though. He…I broke his leg from the impact, though.”
         “Do you want me there with you?”
         “No, I think I can handle it alone. I did not want to interrupt you. I know that tonight is your night to relax.”
         “It is quite alright Josh. Besides it is just me and bub…a bottle of champagne.”
         She started to say bubbles but then thought that saying so would be too forward. Right now was not the time for her to be forward.
         “Champagne, hmm?” he says playfully. “You would not by any chance have eaten, would you?”
         “Actually, I have a pot roast cooking in the oven right now. It will be a rather big meal for just one person,” she says sensing that he was going to ask her to dinner.
         “Is that an invite Eliza? If so I am there.”
         “Yes I guess it was. The food will be finished in about two hours. Can you make it, Mr. Turner?”
         “Yes, after I leave the hospital I will need to change. That should give me plenty of time to do so.”
         “There is really no need to be dressed up. I am thinking of wearing my pajamas and eating at the coffee table. Maybe watch a movie or two.”
         “Well that is my kind of dinner Ms. Cain. I will be there in pajamas,” he says jokingly.
         “Okay Josh. See you then. Be safe.”
         "I will. See you in a while Eliza.”

         After she hangs up the telephone, she realizes that she does not even have a pot roast to cook. She lied and she knew why. She wants Josh to come to her home, especially since he has never been here before and right now seemed like an excellent time. It is a time to comfort him if he needs it and give him more than that if he needs it.
         She quickly slips into a pair of short shorts, a tank top, and nothing else so that she can run to the store before it closes. She has only two hours before he arrives and she is full of joyfulness.
* * *

         Had he really just flirted with Eliza he thinks after he hangs the payphone up. He guesses so and he even was going to go to her home for a late dinner. He is starting to change and wonders why. Is it because of the boy? It is not that he was unhappy with the situation, he just cannot figure out the reasons behind it.
         Another thing that he believes had happened while talking with Eliza was that she flirted back. Was he so blind, so caught up in the events that happened a year ago that he did not see she liked him? He feels foolish because he has always been so good at telling when a woman likes him. Why was Eliza different?
         Many times he would walk by hear private restroom at the office and hear soft, even deliciously pleasant moans coming from it. He had been with enough women to realize that those moans were moans of passion. He always pretended to not to hear them, though it excited him to hear a woman moan again. He had always assumed that she was with a man. Maybe she was or maybe it was just her, alone in that bathroom. Either way he does not want to embarrass himself or her. He likes her too much to do that.
         An hour goes by and there has been no sign of the CPS people so he leaves the hospital informing that he wishes to pay for the hospitalization bills of the boy. He also added that when the CPS comes that he wishes to speak with them. At that time, he wanted only to stay informed of the boy’s situation; little did he know that there was more.
         Driving to Eliza’s is not as nerve racking as he thought it would be. It is actually pleasant. There is little to no traffic on the side streets that he takes. Only bums and a few partygoers wander the streets looking for somewhere to go or some poor sap that will give them money. He sees a liquor sign that acknowledges of a liquor store a few blocks ahead. He is not fond of champagne so he pulls and buys a bottle of scotch and a bottle of brandy. Though he is not a big drinker he wants to get drunk tonight so that he can forget everything that has happened.
         Eliza lives in a small, white two-story house with light brown trim. It has a gorgeous rose bush on either side of the porch steps and has plants hanging off the porch itself. Though he makes more money than Eliza does, he does not own a home. He is a renter and though owning might be better, he likes his studio apartment. It is quiet and he does not have to worry about dogs using his lawn as a litter box or mowing it. He has always liked things to be easy when he is at home. Having to clean his home is even a chore that is why he hired a cleaning service to do so and they do a magnificent job, even if a few things disappear here and there.
         He is a little early but does not think that Eliza will mind it too much. If he would have gone home then he would have been late and he did not want to be late. ‘Early is always better’ his father used to tell him. God he misses having his father around to speak with in times of trouble. He loves him dearly and forever will.

         Eliza had put the pot roast in an hour before hearing Josh drive into the driveway.
         “Oh no, he’s early,” she says to Cotton, her cat, “Why does he have to be early.”
         The cat just stares at her in a way as to say, I do not know nor do I care then jumps to the floor and prances out of the kitchen into the living room.
         “Okay, girl, it is alright. Just tell him the truth. Just say that you lied,” she says, talking to herself now.
         The doorbell rings and she realizes that she is still in her shorts, tank top, and nothing underneath either. She runs to the door making sure that her breasts are not over-exposed and opens the door. Josh stands there looking at her, maybe because he has not seen her in plain clothes or maybe her nipples are pressing against the shirt. She always wears business suits to work or maybe a dress that is not too flaunting.
         “Come in, please. I need to go change my clothes,” she says before he could even speak.
         “What is wrong with what you are wearing?”
         “Umm well…see…I have a confession to make, Josh. See I did not have a pot roast cooking when you called. I was in the bathtub and I thought that you were going to ask me to go out to dinner with you, but I did not want to go out tonight so I told you I was already cooking.”
         “Okay that is fine. You know you do not have to lie though.”
         “Yeah, but these clothes, well I just threw them on so that I could go get the pot roast and stuff.”
         He stares at her for a moment and then say, “Okay that is cool. You have the pot roast, so that is all-good and well. Besides, why should you be able to change your clothes if I couldn’t go home and change mine?”
         “Fine you got me, but can I just tell you that I really would like to change me clothes.”
         “Why is it important? Come on let’s watch some television.”
         Becoming a little frustrated she says, “You know what? I will be right back.”
         As she is walking away, she thinks that Josh is acting unusually weird. She had noticed the bottles of brandy and scotch. Through all of her years of working for Josh, she never knew him to be a big drinker. She is worried about him and thinks that maybe the boy he hit has had more of an affect on him than he believes.
* * *

         Josh sits down on the couch feeling guilty for the first time. He tries his hardest to make the thoughts go away by trying to keep Eliza close to him. She has a calming affect on him, one that he never felt before.
Now as she walks away he feels the emptiness in his soul for the first time in months. If it were not for his years of holding back emotions then he would have crumbled by now. Years of military school has made him a stubborn hard-ass. He does not mind though because it has helped him through the deaths of his parents and his friends. He wants above all to be the able to share his feelings with someone.
         The boy just might be the thing that helps him open up, he thinks. He has already decided to pay for the boy’s hospital bills, not because the boy needs help but because Josh has the feeling that only he cares enough to do so.
Realizing that he is holding the scotch and brandy bottles in his hands he looks at them and wonders if drinking now is such a good idea. At the hospital, he had been cool and collected, but on the way to Eliza’s he had broken down a bit. Being frightened can have a major effect on people and can cause them to do irrational things. He knew that, especially after dealing with the people that walk into his office day in, day out.
         He wants to tell Eliza to stay with him. To tell her that he needs her to stay with him, but he cannot. He does not want to appear weak.
         Instead, he says, “Would you like a small glass of brandy or maybe some scotch?”
         Down the hall she says, “Just a small glass of brandy please. The glasses are over the counter in the second cabinet.”
         “Alright, your order will be served shortly. By the way, the pot roast smells delicious.”
         “Thanks,” she says in the kitchen doorway wearing a pair of cotton shorts that shows off her legs even better than the blue jean shorts did and a tank top that hugs her body in all the right places.
         “Are you comfortable now?”
         “Yes, I am very comfortable,” she says with a flirty smile.
         Turning toward the stove to soak up the tantalizing smells of the roast, carrots, and potatoes he asks her, “Eliza, do you ever get scared for no reason at all?” Without letting her answer he says, “I do. I feel scare and alone all the time. I worry about everyone around me. You know the boy I hit; I was so worried about him that I am going to pay for his hospital bills. I feel so guilty for hitting him. If only I was paying attention.”
 “You can’t feel sorry for yourself, Josh. It was an accident and you know that. I think that it is very sweet and honorable that you would help this boy.”
         “Who is Jon?”
         “The boy his name is Jon. Jon Howard.”
         “Well see there, how many people would care enough to know the boy’s name.”
         “Only those that are guilty or feeling guilty.”
         The stoves timer dinged indicating that the pot roast was ready to eat. He was hungry and he could tell that Eliza did not wish to talk about it any longer.

         They ate their roast with potatoes and carrots, drank a little too much brandy and scotch than they should have, but it was just what they had needed. That night Josh stayed at Eliza’s home. Though they did not sleep together, he felt happier than he had felt in almost a year.
         Eliza was in the kitchen when his cell phone rang and she answers it.
         “Josh it is Henry York. He says that it is urgent.” Eliza says.
         Josh is still asleep in the guest room when she comes in saying that Henry York wants to speak with him. She knows that Henry is trouble and that more than likely he is going to try to get money out of Josh for Jon’s accidental mishap.
         “Henry! Oh crap what does that loser wants from me?” he exclaimed.
         She shrugs and passes the phone to him.
         “Good day Mr. York.”
         “It will be a fine day for me,” Henry says smugly. “Listen I have spoken with the boy’s parents and they wish to file a suit against you.”
         “That is fine. I sincerely doubt that they will get anything though. From what I have learned about the Howard’s the father is a drunken loser and the mother is a crackpot. If you wish to run with this, you had better do a quick clean up job. Oh and by the way, the boy, Jonathan, is no longer in the parent’s custody. In addition, if he is I will make damn sure that he does not stay with them longer than necessary. Take my advice and back the hell off this case. The boy is my responsible. I will take care of him, not you!”
         “We will see, Mr. Turner. We will see.”
         “Well Henry we will just see won’t we.”
         Josh hangs up on that last sentence not wishing to listen to the idiots words any longer. Eliza is staring at him with a strange look on her face.
         “What?” he asked.
         “The boy is your responsibility? When did this development happen,” she asks.
         “Whether I like it or not I have a responsibility towards the boy. I am a lawyer and I have seen the way people act towards someone they hurt. I do not wish to be like that. Not now or ever will I be one of those people! The cost of the hospitalization and perhaps physical therapy means nothing to me. I just want to help him.”
         “Josh, I understand and I think that it is sweet of you to do such a thing, but what if the boy does not want your help? What will happen if he does not want a savior? That is what you are trying to be.”
         Josh stands there for a few moments thinking about whether or not the boy will accept his help. He has not thought about what the boy would say or what his parents would say. He really does not care about Jon’s parents; he only cares about the boy.
         “You are right Eliza. Maybe the boy does not want a savior but everyone wants someone to care about him or her. Am I right?”
         “Yes. You are always right.”

         He smiles at her, she smiles back, and for the first time he sees that there is more than just a friendly smile there. After all this time of working with her he finally begins to see that she has been trying to get his attention.
         “Would you like to eat out for breakfast,” he asks. “It will be my treat.”
         “I would love to. Just let me get dressed.”
         “That is fine. I need to stop by my apartment and change too.”
         “Alright, give me about thirty minutes.”
* * *

         After Josh staying the night at her home went so well and then being able to have breakfast with him Eliza thinks that the world is about to end. She has wanted to be with him for such a long time that she had almost given up hope.
         Today she figures that maybe she would splurge a little on some new outfits. She needs some new ones, anyways. Driving to the mall all that is on her mind is Josh, when usually it is what clothing and shoes she should buy. Every feature of his body is clear in her mind, from his hair to his toes, which she saw for the first time. She is excited, even overwhelmed, at the thought of being with Josh in a romantic way. Though he has not said that he would like to be with her she feels that he will soon.
For now, Josh’s main concern is the boy, Jon, and her main concern is new clothing, which she so desperately needs.
* * *

         Josh sits in the waiting room, once again, waiting for Jon to say that he will see him. He is not worried that Jon will say no. For some reason he knows that the boy will want to meet him. By now must of the hospital knows about Josh paying for the boy’s bills and there have even been people that have told him that he was wonderful. Josh does not believe that he is wonderful only that he is fulfilling his responsibility.
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