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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/794786-An-Interview-With-Robyn
Rated: 13+ · Interview · Comedy · #794786
An interview with myself. A prime example of why I need to lay off the sugar :)
About Robyn

It takes a special kind of retard to interview his or herself. I believe I fall into that category. From this absolute lunacy I have obtained information about myself. For you. Enjoy.

"Hi Robyn."

--"Hey there."

"Let's get started. Hair colour?”

--“Some say blonde, some say brown, a few say red. I prefer the term, ‘retarded combination of all 3.’ That way everyone is happy.”

“Indeed… Eye colour?”

--“Some say blue, some say turquoise, several say green. They’re blue, ya bastards! HEAR ME??? BLUE!”

“That’s great. What about your weight and height?”

--“I’m around 5’6, but there is no way in hell I will divulge my weight to you.”

“Fair enough… Moving on. What are you’re hobbies?”

--“Well, Mary-Ellen—“



“My name. It isn’t Mary-Ellen, it’s Robyn.”

--“No way! That’s my name!”

“I know, we’re the same person.”

--“Get out!”

“It’s true. You’re having a severe psychotic episode. I’m you, you’re me… try not to think about it. It boggles the mind.”

--“Wow… wait… psychotic episode? Caused by what?”



“Let’s continue. Any romantic interests?”

--“Hee hee hee…. Yeah…”

“Are you gonna say who?”

--“Hee hee hee… no…”

“Fair enough.”




“Ok then… give us a little known fact about yourself.”

--“Well, actually, I play the accordion.”

“Damn it Robyn, everyone knows that!”


“God yes.”

--“So it’s not a little known fact?”

“Quite the contrary.”


“Alright, let’s wrap this up… where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

--“At 26? Hopefully not on welfare… And with any luck not interviewing myself, this is bordering on horror movie here.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you O.D’d on the Nyquill again.”

--“Yes it is, you’re me, aren’t you?”

“Sure, if you wanna get technical…”

--“And another thing, why did you need to ask me all these questions? You’re me, didn’t you already know the answers?”

“Hey, look at—Lo-LOOK AT ME!”


“What do I look like?”




“Just… just get in the car. We’re going home. Now.”

--“But I didn’t come here with you.”


--“You’re a bitch.”

--“Takes one to know one.”
© Copyright 2003 R.M. Baker (lotus_flower at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/794786-An-Interview-With-Robyn