Tongue in cheek solution to ENS-Empty Nest Syndrome...for a contest
|With empty nest approaching and wing-feathers preened and strong
my children all were worried about their single mom.
“Oh I’ll be fine” I said. “Oh, I will be just great.”
And so off from the nest they flew, in such a hurry, they couldn’t wait!
The peace that night was golden; classical music reigned
I didn’t trip over their stuff on the floor, no voices over the TV strained.
But I’ll admit- much later- when I was in bed
My thoughts were assailed and I was numb with dread.
A month went by and I didn’t hear
so much as a word from children dear.
No letter, no postcard, no phone call or email,
my mind started wondering if they all were in jail.
‘No news is good news,’ my friends all said,
but my mother’s mind had them all dead.
or worse and of course when I finally heard
from them one by one, by phone call or word--
They all were fine out on their own.
They’d gotten apartments, internet, phone.
They were learning first hand to turn out the lights,
To clean up their messes, to take delight
In jobs well done and chores not assigned,
In setting alarms to be places on time.
Managing money, making clear choices,
Calling me now with worried young voices.
‘You ok mom? We’ve not heard a word…
Are you still alive?” (Are they absurd?)
Are you lonely without us? Are you getting out?
Are eating right? What’s this silence about?’
Should I tell them that in their absence I’ve found
That a dog solves the problem of their not being around?
That I’ve named the dog after one of my brood?
Would they be offended? Would they think it rude?
Shall I tell them I take the dog for long walks
And we snuggle at night and have marvelous talks?
That I pick up her toys and I’ve taught her to sit
And then there’s housebreaking, the potty-train bit!
I have someone now, I again can say “No!”
Course the puppy doesn’t obey any better though.
But she doesn’t tie up the phone for hours
Or hog the computer or take endless showers.
She’s a marvelous editor, never finds a mistake,
Never thinks plotlines are boring or fake.
She likes my poetry, doesn’t complain,
Goes to bed when she’s told to, and likes to play in the rain.
So I no longer have an empty nest
And after the kids, I think my dog is the best!
I’m thinking about maybe getting a cat—
One pet per kid and that will be that!