The Tale of Schoolmarm Kate

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The Tale of Schoolmarm Kate

This modest poem’s the tale of a woman once called Kate
Who left her pleasant home just to help them way out west.
The petite and dainty Kate thought she’d go and educate,
With books, her youthful zeal, and the desire in her breast.

She journeyed far by train, clear across the southern states,
Then climbed upon a stagecoach to take her further out
Toward a distant place where she thought she’d liberate
All the ladies and the men, and she would have, I’ve no doubt,

But three Apache warriors stopped the coach at almost noon,
And drowsy, yawning Kate thus collided with her books.
An Indian brave untangled her while laughing like a loon.
Kate wagged her finger, giving him the sternest schoolmarm looks.

Alas, the arrowed driver lay dead in a pool of blood.
The braves stole all the horses, and Kate was left alone.
The sky was fast a darkenin’ when a man who's name was Judd
Galloped up besides our Kate, then speaking to his roan,

Said, “Looks like trouble's come and bit you here today.”
Kate, rose, ramrod straight. She looked him up and down.
“Your assistance I’d appreciate for I’m bound for Santa Fe.”
The lady’s hair had fallen down; a rip had torn her gown.

“Shucks, ma’am,” said our Judd, “I think that I’ve been smitten.”
Kate grew pale and clutched her dress more closer round.
Then she countered bravely with, “The perfect tense is bitten.”
Judd gaped, then swallowed. His eyes bulged out, spellbound.

“You’re awful pretty, ma'am, but you sure ain’t no diplomat.”
“How shocking,” Kate replied. “Your grammar’s quite atrocious.”
With her snappish words, Judd nodded and reapplied his hat.
Kate saw his visage darken as his gaze turned quite ferocious.

That naughty man scooped her up and flung her ‘cross his lap,
Then he gave his horse a kick and galloped them away.
“My books,” Kate yelled, delivering a firm and hearty slap.
Judd’s arms only tightened. Like that, they rode all day.

At first Kate kept a thrashing; but then she commenced to weep.
“I won’t hurt you,” Judd said gently, surprising her with a kiss.
Kate wrestled even harder then, but at last she fell asleep.
“Sweet dreams,” said the smiling Judd to his captured miss.

Judd had often traveled through this very section of wasteland,
But never had he seen a jewel like the lass that he’d just found.
He prayed to the wind that his captive would someday understand
Why he'd taken her a prisoner and held her thus arm-bound.

At dawn, Judd slowed his horse to walk the steep, arroyo path,
But Kate didn’t see the approach of handsome Judd Fost’s farm.
She only stirred at the sound of his mother’s cold, hard wrath.
“How dare you ensnare that little, innocent schoolyard marm!”

Judd’s mother thundered on. “Hand that unfortunate woman down,
And return at once to the stagecoach for every one of her things.”
‘Twas his mother who led Kate in and found for her a nightgown,
Next she bid our lass to sleep on the best of all the bedsprings.

Thusly did our heroine arrive at Judd’s own sightly homestead,
Where he wooed the schoolmarm ‘til at last she then consented.
As spring blossomed into flowers, the two of them were wed.
The next year brought twin boys; and all were well-contented.

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