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Rated: E · Monologue · Comedy · #956176
A great way to start the day.
Eggs, Bacon, and Truth
Shirley Moyer

This morning, after a breakfast of ham, bacon and eggs, I pondered, all the while walking 2.6 miles per hour on the treadmill: What is truth?

Truth is, it takes me twenty-two minutes and thirty-four seconds to reach one mile. At thirty-three minutes I’ve gone a mile and a half. I could go faster, but my goal is a mile or thirty minutes a day, one or the other. The treadmill is in the garage and if the coast is clear of spectators and especially on a Sunday, I may jump on old Bessie several times throughout the day. Truth is, my fat is firming up very nicely.

You’re wondering, what has truth in common with eggs?

Truth is, eggs not only come from chickens. I can’t imagine how many different kinds of eggs exist. I’ve helped hatch peacock eggs (which is not a smart thing to do), dove eggs, turtle eggs, and some weird, fuzzyheaded, chicken’s eggs. Truth is, everything born from an egg doesn’t wear feathers.

Now, put the treadmill, the ham, the bacon, and eggs together and what have you got? Truth is, The Atkins Diet.


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