the good kind of crazy

a manic episode

this boundless energy that
takes over and won't let me
calm down
and i
can't get control
but i
don't want to
cause i
don't want to feel normal
and i
don't want this to go away
and i
don't want to be sad
so i
give myself over to this manic
and ignore that little voice

goddamn that voice

that tells me i'm not healthy
shutupshutupshutup
because i'm
on top of the world to be cliche
and i'm
losing my mind and i like it

because if i'm not sane
if i'm not sane
then everything is okay
then i don't have to think and
no one will expect anything and
i'll have an excuse and
she won't matter anymore and
i have something to blame

come talk to me i promise
i'll be entertaining
i won't be depressing
i'll laugh at myself
and act stupid i'll
do whatever you want
just as long as you don't
leave me alone
with the demon
i can fight him off if only
i can keep talking if only
i can stop thinking if only
i can stop breathing