My Battles With Party Nibbles

A very short story of one mans struggle against bar snacks.

The only thing that stood between me and the bottom of the mountain was this fuck off peanut. Not only was I allergic to the bastards, this particular peanut was dry roasted, which I really fucking hate. I decided to surprise him, I kicked him in the nuts, then nutted him. He was shell shocked but still maintained that crazy look in his eyes. 'Your nuts' I said, ‘how are you still standing after that roasting?’ He laughed like a crazy man and took a swing at me, I ducked and threw him off balance he fell and landed awkwardly. In a nutshell, he was beaten. 'Nut so tough now' I said, 'I knew I’d cashew off guard you nutty fuck'.
And with that witty retort I clambered down the mountain, crossed the bridge and found myself heading for Pretzel Canyon. Onwards again to do battle with yet another savoury snack.