Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #973913
Ever take animals home? Well taking home this critter goes all wrong.
| I’ll never forget Harvey. Two days ago I strolled through the thick evergreen forest behind my house. My footsteps softly crunched over the blanket of pine needles, and the sweet tang of sap wafted into the air. The animals of the forest were oddly quiet, which usually meant a predator was near. Looking around cautiously, I heard a tiny “chirrup.” The little noise didn’t sound like any bird or beast I knew, so I followed the sound. |
My ear led me to a large, mossy stone half sunk in the pine needles. I began to worry about committing myself to the local psychiatric ward, but I heard it again. The little “chirrup” sounded like it came from under the rock! Although the rock looked like it weighed more than I could ever lift, I easily pushed the stone aside to reveal…nothing. Only a few earthworms, a couple pill bugs, and a line of ants squirmed and scattered in the dirt. I looked over at the rock. When I rolled the rock over, something rolled inside of it. On the underside of the rock was a hole. “Chirrup chirrup chirrup chirrup” emanated from the hole. Figuring that nothing sounding so cute could be dangerous I reached inside the hollow stone and felt a furry, wriggling ball.
The tiny blue-grey creature sat in my hand. He had the face and body of a hedgehog, and plush fur and tail of a chinchilla. And the back legs of a kangaroo rat, I added to myself as he leapt into my lap. His iridescent blue eyes gazed intently at me, while his wriggling nose worked on my scent. “Chirrup” he said to me, his tiny body bouncing. I had to take him home, of course. The whole way home I was so preoccupied with little Harvey, as I named him, that I forgot about the hollow rock. After all, a creature that cute needs all my attention.
I took him to my bedroom and placed him on the bed. After telling him not to move, I raced to the kitchen to raid the fridge. Good thing Mom and Dad were gone for the weekend. I wasn’t sure what the fuzzy rodent would like, so I brought him a variety of things to choose from: an apple, a bag of croutons, a couple cashews, a few graham crackers, some grapes, and a Twix (for me). Little Harvey ate the apple, the bag of croutons, the cashews, the graham crackers, the grapes, and my Twix. I was worried that the little guy would get sick, but after cleaning me out, he still looked hungry. He also looked a bit bigger. I spent all day and most of the night feeding Harvey anything I could find. He continued to eat and he continued to grow. He even ate things that weren’t food: pencils, my tennis shoes, and the closet doorknob. By the time I put him in the old dog kennel for the night, he was about the size of a cocker spaniel.
The next day, after a breakfast of eggs and the sock drawer (I had the eggs and he had the sock drawer), we took a trip to the grocery store. I tied Harvey’s leash to a signpost behind the store by the semi loading bays. I figured it would be the safest place for him while I shopped. When I came out of the grocery store with a cart full of food, Harvey was nowhere to be seen. Desperate to find my big, cute, fuzzy friend, I left the cart and started to search the prickly shrubs surrounding the building.
That’s when I heard the first scream. Shrill cries originated from somewhere in the grocery store, and people bursted out of the doors of the store. Dashing inside, I found Harvey munching in the frozen food section. He was working on a bag of mixed vegetables while looking eye-to-eye with the store manager. I hoped to catch Harvey before too much damage was done, but upon seeing me, the giant rodent took off. Weaving through the aisles, I spotted Harvey’s head bumping into the hanging signs. When I arrived at Harvey’s final location, I discovered he had already cleared every can of food from Aisle 3 except the olives.
I pleaded with Harvey, I begged Harvey, but he simply looked at me and replied with a rumbling “Chirrup.” That’s when a daring cop rushed around the corner and bumped into Harvey. That is also when Harvey’s taste expanded. With one fuzzy paw, Harvey knocked the flailing officer to the floor and drooled. “Stop Harvey!! No!!” I screamed. I jumped in front of the prone police officer, scolding the insatiable furball, “Harvey, you don’t eat people! No! That’s wrong! Stop right now!” Holding my breath, I waited for Harvey’s reaction.
Sitting here now, I have to say I had been pretty brave. I had risked my life for someone I didn’t even know. I probably made quite a sight—little ol’ me not backing down to a monstrous and hungry creature.
Oh yes, I’ll never forget Harvey. I can’t forget with the walls of his stomach here to remind me…at least until I get digested.