Full of so much love for him, I can't find a way to tell him about it all.
|A/N: Random stuff about how I feel about my boyfriend that I really needed to get out.
The way I love you…yeah it’s different. It’s very different. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m comfortable, yet constantly afraid that I’m going to lose you. I miss you, but the yearning to see you in my stomach doesn’t hurt, it just aches. It’s like my entire system for loving someone has matured. You’re all I think about, every day. I’m addicted to you. You’re the one thing that matters, or will ever matter. I thought I’d been in love before. I loved them, I cared about them, I always got butterflies when I saw them, but I never felt like this. Every kiss and my entire body is on fire. Every touch of your hand and I feel like melting into your arms and letting you hold me together for the rest of my life. I was once told that immature love is loving someone because you need them and that mature love is needing someone because you love them. I love you. You know this, I know this. And I need you because of it. Since I’ve met you, you’re the one thing that’s pushing my blood around my veins. I’ve never been so consumed by someone, so utterly taken over. I knew I’d survive without my other lovers…I knew I could move on. With you…I honestly don’t see it that way. You’re a part of me now. Your image and your heart is forever etched upon my mind and heart, and you are not someone that I can forget.
Although I need you badly, although that I always miss you terribly, I want you to be happy. Sometimes I don’t feel you are happy with me. You’ve said that it’s not me, that other stuff is on your mind, but honestly, you don’t ever tell me. I want you to trust me. I want you to be able to come to me when anything, absolutely anything, is on your mind. I can’t be trying to make you happy, if I’m blind to what’s making you sad. I’m completely open when I’m with you, why can’t you be the same with me?
Desire. I’m full of it. Look me right in the eyes, and it comes swarming back, blood flooding to places that send wonderful sensations about my body. Whenever your lips press against my skin, I’m yours. Your touch makes me shiver sometimes, so soft, yet so full of untainted passion. You touch me with love. I’m used to being touched just so that I’ll return the favour. You just do it with love in mind. You’re a generous lover, and a very good one. It really does mean a lot to me that you care how I feel.
It means a lot to me that you care full stop to be honest. I just can’t tell you enough how important you are to me, or how dream-like it is being with you without freaking you out. I’m overwhelmed, frightened, excited, passionate, worried…I don’t want to ever get in the way, to ever feel like a burden to you. I want to make you happy, while enjoying you myself. I’m a tool that you can use for your own devices. Enjoy me, hold me close, talk to me, vent your frustrations at me, kiss me, use me to pleasure you, whatever it is that you need from me, you can have.