weariness

Being weary of all even of oneself

Where to?
Just nowhere!
Where to?
Oh, just nowhere I say,
Nailed to the ground
Tuning around and around,
Same faces, same lifeless colours,
Turning around and around,
Dizziness, nausea,
Wandering astray in my little spot,
My cell, my prison, myself.
Why should I carry on
Bearing the misery of this self?
Dizzy, yearning to flee this self,
But where to?
Just nowhere,fettered,
Nailed to my hated self.
If I can flee the others ,
Why should I cling to this bondage to myself?
Is madness coming on?
Hungrily yearning to a certain truth,
Hankering to tread upon some firm land,
Where all this diziness vanishes,
A land green , yellow and sweet
With an azure blue horizon
Blue like my sweet dreams
That were too ephemeral...
I've told you:
Misery is my faithful companion
It's been clinging to my heels for so long.
My dreary companion, my self,
Won't you bid adieu once for all?
I am so wearily yearning for another self.