Life As A Cliche

Cliche's express overused meaning. Knowing when to use one takes great art.

Contest Prompt

"The Writer's Cramp" write a cliché-heavy story or poem, and make Comedy one of the genres.'

O.K. It was just a silly bet. Who would have believed it could go so wrong. The problem was it was my fiancee I’d made it with. “Prove you love me," she laughed. "If you can speak and record every word you say today and make it a cliche, we're a done deal. I need a man who can be spontaneous. Do it today. Time flies when you're having fun, right?” Mary sealed the deal with a passionate kiss.

"No pain, no gain," I replied, feeling a little put off by her strange request.

Easy, you say. Everyone knows overused cliches. That part I got down right. I loved them. The other plus was knowing my boss loved using cliches to keep us motivated. Well, ignorance is bliss.

What I hadn’t planned was getting called into the office to see him. “You've been bending over backwards and I appreciate it. I’ve been wanting to touch base with you. We’re looking at a major advancement in the firm, Harry. You’d be taking over our trust account. It is just a matter of form, but I have to ask you to answer a few questions before I give a passing grade. Kapeesh?”

Any fool would agree that a six figure salary with twice that in end of the year bonuses would be the icing on the cake, I pondered a moment, and then one came to my lips, “Better late than never,” I joked.

“What’s that? I’d want you to hit the ground running.” Henderson asked, not believing his ears. “What do you mean?”

More pondering. This was harder than I’d thought. My mind was on Mary's promise. “Every cloud has its silver lining. What goes around comes around.” I was really notching up the number of cliches for her.

Henderson looked at me like I’d been drinking on the job. “This offer may be dead as a doornail. We’ve also been looking at your fiancee, Mary Harden. Do you have a problem with that?”

I gulped. Was Mary setting me up? The girls in the office had a better grapevine than we boys. “Only time will tell,” I adlibbed, keeping to my script. What else could I do? It was too late to tell Henderson the truth.

The CEO grunted. “How true. Way to take it like a man. Where was I? Final question. If you take the position, Mary would be working directly under you. If we appoint her, then vice versa. I’ve got to make a decision with the speed of light. How do you feel about that?”

This one was easy, or so I thought. “It’s clear as a bell. Either way is a win win situation.”

Henderson looked at me like I’d gone mad. “I’m afraid we’d need someone with more drive than that answer calls for, Harry. The job will go to Mary. Thanks for coming in.”

When I got home, Mary got up off my best friend, Will Conway, adjusting her clothing. He looked at me and said with a shrug, "Where there's a Will, there's a way." Using cliches around Mary was obviously catching.

I’d recently gotten him a job working under Mary. I hadn't thought he'd be working under Mary exactly this way.

She smirked, “You’ll be busy as a bee working in accounts payable, darling. Let bygones be bygones and let's be friends. Think outside the box and we’ll be fine. There will be a whole lot of low hanging fruit you are free to grab.” It was like she’d planned the whole day on repeating those lines. Pain shot through my head like it had been hit by a guided missile.

I nodded, sure of the cliche I wanted to blast her with as I turned and walked out of her life. “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

Henderson called my cellphone the next day, wanting me back. “It’s been raining cats and dogs here without you, Harry. I’m afraid I’ll have to let Mary’s new hire go. I thought she was fit as a fiddle, but she’s been raising caine by giving that new hire your old position. Won’t you re-consider quitting the firm?”

“Easier said than done,” I thought aloud, knowing a good cliche when I’d found one. Mary would have loved using it.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m putting myself out to pasture. Oh, I’ll still be on the board, but you’ll be running things in the same manner as if you’d never left.”

I invited Mary into my new office with the label on the door ‘CEO in training’. “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, eh, Mary?”

I waited as she stumbled for a response.


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