The Feminine Perspective

What would happen if a female groundhog got mistaken for a male. 300-word flash.

The Feminine Perspective

Mayor Collie, protected by thick leather gloves reached into the hole. What he brought out was thrashing, chewing and growling the whole way.
“I though you said this was a tame groundhog?” he said to his deputy mayor.
“He usually is.”
“We can hook it up to the translator and find out what all the fuss is about, said the behavioral scientist.
“Do it, before he gnaws my hands off!”

“Well Nippy, how are you this year?” he said into the mike.
“Let go of me, you beast! Unhand my feminine body!” came from the translator.
“Female? I thought this was Nippy!”
“I kicked that bum out. All he ever did was lay around waiting for his one time in the spotlight. He was a loafer, a lollygagger and a jerk!” came from the translator.
“So, ma’am, what is your name?” the mayor asked.
“Nora, unhand me!”
“Nora, will you look for your shadow for us?”
“Look bub, I have better things to do than find any part of myself. After having my last litter, I don’t ever show my shadow to anyone or anything!”

“Oh, I’m sure you look lovely for a groundhog female,” the mayor flattered.
“Well, if you think so, maybe just this once!” Nora said coyly.
“I’ll set you down in the sun…” the mayor said politely and did what he said he would.
Nora took one look at her shadow and screamed. She dived back into the hole. She poked out her nose to say: “Find yourself a male sucker next year. Don’t come back or I’ll gnaw off all your fingers!” Mr. Mayor believed her and left quickly.
She may have bred some sons that took over for Nippy. All the mayor knows is he never went back to that hole.