Excuseless For Once

Bert wants to surprise Agnes for their anniversary. 300-word flash

Excuseless For Once

“What’s your excuse this time?” Agnes said as she met him at the door, with a rolling pin in her hand.
“I don’t have one,” Bert replied.
“But you always have one,” his wife said, laying the rolling pin on the counter.
“Maybe it’s time I admitted that my excuses are lame and you deserve better than that!”
Agnes’ face softened. She reached over and pulled him to her. Bert hugged her back.

“I was worried, where have you been?”
“Nowhere.”
Agnes’ eyes grew suspicious and she pushed him away from her embrace to study his face.
“Why can’t you be specific?”
“I want to surprise you.”
“You know I hate surprises, tell me!”
Bert hesitated. Agnes picked up the rolling pin.

“All right, if you insist. I’ve been shopping for you for our anniversary.”
“Really?” Agnes’ eyes brightened.
“I want to save it for the day. Can you wait five days to know?”
Agnes nodded. But for her, the wait was long. Finally, it came.

Agnes came down to breakfast on the day. Bert always made her favorite. Seeing no packages on the table anywhere, Agnes managed to keep from berating her husband. Besides, all of a sudden, she couldn’t find her rolling pin!
The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Bert said. He came back empty handed. Agnes gritted her false teeth on a comment.
The sound of clomping feet made her jump. “Who’s roaming our house in boots?” she asked.
Bert had his nose in the paper so she figured he was ignoring her or didn’t hear her.
She stood up and began to move to the basement stairs. Agnes walked softly down to find two men installing a central vacuum. Going back up, she was fuming. She went in search of her rolling pin!