A Tick in the Night

A mysterious ticking noise ruins Jamie's plans for a good start at his dream job.

A Tick in the Night

1.

Jamie’s first day at his new dream job awaited him tomorrow morning. He wanted to make a good start of things, so he sifted through the fridge, picking out all the ingredients for a healthy salad and began work chopping them all up. Vitamins were surely the key ingredient for success in finance.

Jamie was hard at work slapping his knife down on a tomato when he thought he heard a strange ticking noise. Jamie cocked his head, waited for a few moments, shrugged, and said, “Alexa, play the top hits of today”. Alexa started playing the top hits of today. Jamie continued slapping his knife down on the tomatoes, but now with an additional head bob to accompany the beat.

Eight-twenty-six the clock read when Jamie snuggled into bed. The house was quiet and cozy. He set his phone on charge, configured an alarm for seven, rolled over, and shut his eyes. Eight-twenty-six might seem like an early bedtime, but this was entirely normal for Jamie. He was the kind of person that took sleep very seriously. He had read a whole book about it once, and now believed any less than eight hours a night would cause death by forty.

“Tick”

Jamie’s eyes flicked open. He rolled over and checked the clock. Twelve-thirty-three. It was rare he woke up before his alarm. He put it down to being in different surroundings, this was his first night in the new house. He rolled back over and –

“Tick”

Mid roll, Jamie paused. With eyes half closed, he peered into the darkness. A minute or two passed. Nothing. He finished his roll and shut his eyes.

“Tick”

Jamie half sat up and resumed his squinting into the darkness. He concentrated hard.

“Tick”

He slapped his bedside lamp on, warm light illuminated the bedroom. He stared intently around the room. Nothing stirred, everything was in its place. The electronic clock cycled through a few minutes.

“Tick”

Jamie sat all the way up.

For fifteen minutes, Jamie listened to the odd ticking sound. It was repeating itself at random intervals. He couldn’t place the noise, it seemed to echo around the house. He knew for sure it kept waking him up, so there was only one thing to be done; He dragged himself out of bed, slipped on a dressing gown, and headed off to investigate.

Jamie checked through every room, pausing to listen out for the Tick. Each time it sounded, it seemed like it was coming from a different room. He had just finished checking out all the bedrooms, the bathroom, the kitchen, the hallway, the living room and the dining room, when he caught sight of the time. One-twenty-four. He sighed, it would have to wait to tomorrow. Jamie set his intention on sleeping through it and went back to bed.

Jamie did not sleep through it very well at all. He woke up tired and utterly ticked off.

2.

Jamie commuted to work on public transport and arrived just in the nick of time. He wanted to be early, but the city was new to him and he had gone in the wrong direction for a few stops.

The Manager was a middle aged stout man. There had been two hours allocated for induction; he sped through it in thirty minutes flat. By ten, Jamie was at his shiny new desk and had worked through all of the IT training tasks. A bit of paper listed twenty accounts for Jamie to review this week.

“Woof!” Daryl exclaimed and punched the air. He smiled at Jamie from the desk next to him. Jamie did not return the smile. Apparently, Daryl was having a great day or something. This wasn’t the first dog bark of the day, there had been at least two before lunch and more after. There had also been several howls. On Jamie’s paper, two accounts were crossed through. He rubbed his eyes and felt pressure building in his temples. One thing was for certain, he’d got his worth out of the coffee machine today.

The whirring of the lift almost sent Jamie to sleep on his feet.

“Rough first day, ey? Don’t worry about it, you’ll get used to it pretty soon” A soft voice said, apparently noticing Jamie nodding off in a peculiar position.

“Oh – er. Yeah. I mean, no, it wasn’t too bad. Just getting settled in, you know?” Jamie replied and looked up.

Smiling at him from the other side of the lift was a dark haired lady with pale brown eyes. An amused smile played on her face. Jamie cleared his throat, “er, Jamie, nice to meet you…”

“Naomi, I’m in customer services” Naomi replied and widened her smile.

“Right, you’re the one I should come to if I piss off a customer then?” Jamie joked.

“Something like that, yeah. Oh and don’t worry about Daryl, he’s just a bit energetic. You’ll acclimatise to it after a while.”

The lift made an abrupt ding as it reached the ground floor, and the doors slid open. Naomi walked out a few paces, then stopped, and turned back.

“See you tomorrow, Jamie”.

3.

Jamie sat on his ‘Deluxe Ultra-Max Comfort’ settee. It was green and velvety, and as he ran his fingers over the surface it left dark marks in the material. He pondered on the ticking sound that rudely interrupted what should have been an excellent night of sleep. He sat and listened out for it now, there was only the hum of the oven. Alexa started beeping at him and saying, “your pizza timer is up.”

Jamie got in to bed cautiously after an evening of investigating cupboards, tapping on walls, and shining torches into small crevices . He sat up against the headboard of the bed. Silence hung in the air, Jamie sighed. He set his alarm clock and paused, observing the silence. He reached over and tapped the lamp off, darkness filled the room. Still, the silence remained. He flattened his pillows, and sunk his head into them. More Silence. He rolled over and –

“Tick”.

The lamp was on and Jamie out of bed in the blink of an eye. His face flushed red, his eyes wild and fists clenched. He did not like his sleep being interrupted. He was so angry, he felt like a demon with fire running through his veins, ready to unleash himself on whatever was ticking. In reality of course, he was a middle aged man, with bed hair and a potbelly, standing in his pants and breathing heavily.

“Tick”

Jamie descended the stairs half in a fall. He flew into the kitchen and paused. No sound. He flung open cupboards and emptied their contents. Crisp packets went flying, spoons soared through the air, pans slid across the floor. He shoved his head into cupboard after cupboard, twisting it awkwardly around in each one, not really sure what he was looking for. His blood began to cool and mid head in cupboard, face to face with an odd red stain, he halted his rampage and began to feel slightly silly. Right at that moment –

“Tick”

Before long, the house was in an awful state. Every bit of furniture, the sofa, the TV stand, the bookcase, the table and even the pictures on the wall, were crooked and out of place. Books and cushions were strewn about the floor. Jamie sat among it all, legs out, panting, red, sweaty, and exhausted.

“Tick”

4.

Somehow, Jamie made it to work. While making himself a double strength espresso, he caught his reflection in the microwave. He still had a bit of bed hair, and he could swear his eyes looked somehow smaller than normal. He felt wonky and hollow.

He settled down at his desk and downed the espresso. The Manager walked past, eyeing Jamie with a look of concern, one that said, I’m not sure about this new guy. Daryl swept in behind him and gave Jamie’s chair a shake, “Hope the new jobs not proving too much for you already Jamie-boy! You look a bit tired mate!” He boomed, and trailed off into a laugh that sounded a bit like a dog having a fit. Jamie wasn’t sure if it was a joke or a jab, so he just returned it with a nervous smile.

As Jamie stared at the numbers on his screen, his vision unfocused. The buzz of the overhead LED lights rang unnaturally loud in his ears, and his brain cringed with a sharp pain, “Clonk.” The sound of a fresh mug of coffee brought his mind into focus.

“You look like you might need it” Naomi smiled at him.

Jamie looked sheepishly up at Naomi, a bit embarrassed by being caught so exhausted once again.

“Oh – hey Naomi. Thanks you really shouldn’t have” he replied

“It’s no problem, I was making my last one of the day anyway. Can’t have any past two, apparently it’s not good for your sleep and I’ve always got to get my eight hours. You not getting yours? You look a bit… tired? Hope Daryl isn’t getting to you”

Daryl looked over but couldn’t reply, he had an earpiece in and was talking about ‘winning investment strategies’

“No, no. Daryl is great, really”. Jamie said, obviously not meaning it. “Just, new city, new house. Taking a few days to settle in”. He paused and considered telling Naomi about his mad rampage last night, then he realised how crazy that would make him sound. “Just not used to the noises of the new house, you know? Little creaks and stuff. I’m sure I’ll sleep better tonight.”

“Yeah, I sure hope so. I know how it feels first hand. My sister was staying at mine for couple of weeks. Her place was being fumigated, apparently there’s been a bit of an outbreak of rats or something. Anyway, I love her to bits and all, and she’d hate me for saying this. But she’s a bit of a snorer, a loud one too”.

Jamie gave a small laugh at that.

“Right, Jamie. I’d better be getting back to my desk. I can be a bit of a chatterbox if you let me get away with it, guess that’s why I’m in customer services”. With that, Naomi was off.

The rest of the day passed in a kind of haze. Jamie managed to cross out one more account from his list of twenty, bringing the number of completed tasks for the week to three. He knew The Manager was expecting him to do all twenty by the end of the week. Not good, but he had a plan. Daryl’s annoying dog fit of a laugh had given him the idea .

Daryl had been on calls all day long, dog fit laughing away. It really made Jamie want a pair of earplugs so that he could just drown out the damn noise. That was his answer. Earplugs. No ticking tonight, just a solid night of sleep lay in store for him. He felt more relaxed already.

5.
 

Jamie didn’t even attempt to find the ticking when he got home, he didn’t have it in him. He didn’t even have any dinner. As soon as he was home from the shops, he unwrapped the two-pound-ninety-nine pair of earplugs, purchased at the nearest corner-shop and popped them in his ears. He made the most of all the ‘ultra-max’ comfort that his settee had to offer and nodded off, almost immediately.

Four hours later, Jamie awoke to a dark and unnaturally silent world. Mouth dry and eyes crusty, he checked his watch. Ten-forty-six. He felt giddy. Four hours of uninterrupted sleep. He’d best take this to the bedroom, he thought.

Jamie lumbered up the stairs, four steps up, he miss-placed his foot, tripped forward, and smacked his face on the lip of a stair. As he did so, a pair of earbuds could be seen making an escape from his ears and rolling down the stairs. Jamie steadied himself and looked back just in time to see the earplugs find their way down a tiny little hole, where the pipe for the radiator disappeared into. His heart sank.

“Tick”

6.

Jamie had another terrible night of sleep. If yesterday he had felt wonky and hollow, today he felt like a reanimated corpse. He kind of looked like one too. Still, he made it to work. ­Once at work, he made a coffee, downed it, and then made another.

Jamie got no work done that morning. By lunchtime, he was practically nodding off at his desk. His nodding off was rudely interrupted by an annoying tapping on his shoulder. Daryl.

“Oi Jamie mate, I know you’re new and everything, but you can’t just nod off at your desk mate. You’ll be written up for that, faster than Usain Bolt at the hundred meters. Know what I mean?”

Jamie knew what he meant.

“Ah, yeah. Cheers Daryl, I’ll get back to it. Just a rough night of sleep is all”

At that, a big grin came across Daryl’s face. “Something keeping you up, eyyyy?” As he said it, he wiggled his thick dark eyebrows a few times, “Hoping to get some of that action myself, going to ask Naomi out this Friday for drinks, if you catch my drift”.

Jamie caught Daryl’s drift. Daryl glanced down at Jamie’s list of accounts and his eyes bulged, “Christ mate, you’d better hop to it buddy. If the big M catches you slacking on that list, you won’t make it past this Friday”

Daryl wasn’t joking. In the afternoon Jamie struggled through an awkward conversation with The Manager about the progress on his accounts. After waffling for a few minutes, trying to find reasons why he had only got through three of the twenty accounts, The Manager told him, “I need more from you, it’s that simple”.

Jamie managed to cross one more account off the list before the end of the day. Naomi walked past his desk and gave him a little smile. She seemed to like him. He cringed at the thought of her going out with Daryl that Friday, especially with what Daryl and his wiggly eyebrows had in mind. He didn’t suppose Naomi’s sister would be staying over to ward off any uncouth suitors either, what with the rats being dealt with now.

“Rats!!” Jamie shouted and flung his arms up in the air. Everyone looked around a little stunned, The Manager shot him a disappointed look, then they all went back to work.

7.

Jamie clambered through the front door carrying bags full of all kinds of rat traps, nets, cages and cheese. He plopped it all on the floor and settled his hands on his hips, looking rather proud of himself. He had remembered Naomi talking about her sister’s rat problem, apparently there had been a rat outbreak in the area. He supposed maybe one, or some, had got in whilst they were moving all the furniture into the house. He thought the tick sound could be a rat chewing on something. It was his best shot anyway. He might have been getting a little desperate.


Jamie set about laying down rat traps everywhere, literally everywhere. There were rat traps on kitchen sides, in cupboards, all over the living room floor, on the settee, up the stairs, in the bath, under the bed, and Jamie even considered putting some in the bed. After thinking about his toes getting a nasty nip from a rat trap in the night, he put that thought away. He carefully loaded each rat trap with cheese. He also loaded his own mouth with cheese. He was too busy for dinner that night.

Jamie sat on the living room floor carefully, in a spot that was free from his own belongings, rat traps, and cages filled with cheese. He held a long bug catching net diagonally across his body, with the top end resting on his shoulder. For about an hour, he was vigilant, listening out for sounds and keeping his eyes peeled for furry shapes, but as the evening drew on, his eyelids began to droop and his head started to nod.

“SNAP”

Jamie jumped to attention, his wide eyes darted around the room. Then he realised, hanging from the end of his net, was a rat trap, and near his foot was a lump of cheese. He sat back down, sighed, and began fiddling with the trap to pry it off the net. In that moment, at the edge of his sight, he saw a little shadow dancing along the wall. Jamie held his breath and raised his head slowly. There it was. A little furry rat, scurrying along. It looked rather skinny, had massive front teeth and an odd scar that ran across both eyes. It ran, at full speed, front teeth first, straight into the metal leg of one of the dining room chairs.

“Tick”

Well that explains that, thought Jamie. A blind rat with huge front teeth was running about bashing into things. He probably hadn’t managed to spot it because all of his rampaging was scaring the poor thing into hiding. This was a matter that required stealth. He set his jaw, readied his net, and rose, slowly, to a bent standing position. Ready to pounce.

8.

Jamie tip toed over to the stunned rat, who was looking rather dazed. He got right up close to the rat and raised his net just over it. This was going to be easy, the poor rat was blind, it didn’t stand a chance, he thought. He swung into action all at once, bringing the net down as fast as he could. Before the net smacked into the floor and with astonishing speed, the rat scuttled off, running headfirst into the radiator.

“Tick”

Jamie shot off after the rat and swung again. The rat sped off at pace, avoiding the net, zigzagging across the living room floor and setting off several rat traps as it did so. It bumped into the side of a cage, knocking it over and spilling the cheesy contents all over the floor. The rat managed to climb up on top of the knocked over cage, then jumped off at full force, into the TV.

“Tick”

Jamie spun around from the other end of the room, and pushed off at a sprint, his eyes wild. He was just reaching the TV stand where the rat was sitting, dazed from its latest collision, when he drove his foot straight into a pile of cheese which squished between his toes. Jamie’s leg slid out from under him, and for the first time in his life, he performed the splits. The rat gathered its wits and in a panic, jumped off the TV stand and out into the hallway.

“Tick”

Jamie recovered from his splits and feeling rather sore and stiff, he perused the rat, this time with quick but small steps. Jamie swung, the rat ran, Jamie ran. This pattern repeated itself over and over, until on one particularly wild swing, Jamie smashed the end of the net into the kitchen side with such force that the end snapped off and landed in the sink. The rat ran into the hallway radiator.

“Tick”

Jamie sunk to his knees. His shoulders made big rising and falling motions and he took heavy breaths. His red face fell down below his shoulders and his eyes began to water. He was beginning to sob. He was really crying over a stupid blind rat, he thought. “AAARRRGGGHHHH” He screamed into the room. The rat ran into the living room.

Jamie crawled himself over to the living room doorway. The rat sat near the far wall sniffing at some cheese. “Please rat, just….. Just leave me alone!” Jamie begged. The rat did not respond. “Please!”

At that moment, a creaking sound came from above the rat. A crooked painting broke free from the wall, fell, and smacked straight into the blind rat. The rat rolled onto its side, and did not move. Jamie crawled slowly across the room, in disbelief. The rat was breathing heavily, but not moving. He picked the rat up, put it quickly into one of the cages, shut the cage door and locked it. Then, he laid back on the floor, let out a deep sigh, and fell asleep.

9.

Jamie poured himself a fresh glass of water from the filtered tap in the office kitchen. He caught his reflection in the microwave, his hair was combed back and tidy, and his eyes were bright and blue. He had just finished his nineteenth account review and he still had four hours left of the week.

“Off the coffee now then are we?” Naomi lent on the kitchen side with her right arm.

“Yep, managed to solve the sleep problem a couple of days ago, you’ll never guess what was keeping me up” Jamie replied

“Oh? Do tell” Naomi said excitedly.

Jamie told her all about the tick and the rat. He spared no details, he let it all out. Rampaging about in his underpants, sticking his head in cupboards, wrecking his new house and begging on his hands and knees to a rat. Naomi was in hysterics.

Wiping tears from her eyes Naomi asked, “Hey, what would you say to getting some dinner tonight, lets say, 7PM? At The Grey Fox? It’s a great little pub, they do amazing pies”.

Taken aback Jamie replied “Absolutely, I’ll be there, I might just need some directions, new city and all that”. Something that sounded like a dog having a fit echoed in the background of the office, “Though, I thought Daryl was going to ask you out?”

Naomi laughed, “Daryl asks me out every week, Jamie”.

-

Jamie got home at six PM sharpish, ready to have a shower and change for his date. Oh, and there was one other thing Jamie needed to do before all that. He entered his living room, and walked over to a little cage that sat on his TV stand. “I need to feed you first, don’t I Blindy?” A little grey rat squeaked in response.