First of all let me just say that you write very well. The dialog bewteen characters was very good. Your story was interesting from start to finish. A little sad, but interesting. I liked the adopted mother as well as the birth mother both of these women had strength of character. This was a very good narrative. Good job!
I liked this poll because it helps parents to see where they're with their children and what they need to be doing. I thought your questions were fun and easy to read and follow. Good job. I know a lot of parents appreciated this poll.
You had very good rhyme and flow and you spoke from your heart. I especially liked stanza three line two in which you said, "Another cloud in view." You were letting the reader know that another episode of heartbreak was on the way and I thought that was ingenious.
I know that there are people out there who gone through or is going through a similar situation. I hope someone reads your story and poem and relates his or her story of victory over drugs -whether in pill form or any other kind of form- to you. I hope that you get free one day from this addiction. "You can do it I know you can, but you got to want to do it; that's the key to victory." If this is fitional, very good job in describing the nightmare of additon for some.
This is a very beautiful poem. Your character is so life-like that I could see her. I could also feel the love in her heart for the person that she's waiting on. Very touching!
This is a beautiful poem from start to finish. Your character was so life-like that I could see her. I could also feel the romance bewteen the two lovers and the love in her heart for him. Very good.
This is a good poem and very emotional. I feel the hurt. I especially liked the part of there not being "enough tears to wash away the pain" so true.
Very nicely written poem.
This poem is very good, your imagery is fantastic. You write very well having only been writing for 3 months. I'm sure that you're very happy with your wife. Your descriptions of how to kill yourself is very vivid, but "don't do it." You described these scenes very well. Very good writing!
Your rhyme is very good. Very vivid words expressed to the lover. In stanza six you have an error with the "l'll and l. I think you meant "all I." Other than that this is a wonderfully written poem.
This is very good, but I think that if you put quotations marks around the words that you are saying to this girl, it'll make this poem a little bit more powerful. It reminded me of my poem: "Hello" when you get a chance feel free to read it and tell me if you think so. Your words and how you felt on seeing this beautiful girl is captured in your words. Very good!
I share your sentiments about rain. Your imagery in the first two stanzas was very vivid and real. I could feel the wind as it whipped the leaves around in the air and around the cars. I liked your descriptions on how rain cleanses the earth and cleans out the mood of many people. Very good writing.
Somehow the phrases in stanza three: "Bye bye to union" and "Hello to me" and the phrase in stanza four: "Point the tongue and brace for the display" throws this poem off, but I could be wrong, but if you do decide to reword it let me know. This poem does have the emotions that you were depicting and one can also feel that it's of a personal nature. Good thoughts. I just think that you need to change the above phrases. Maybe "Bye bye to union" could be "Bye bye to our union."
Anyway I like the poem, I just think those lines work better if they were changed a little.
This was a great story; I enjoyed every moment of it.
I can't find anything wrong with it. If this wasn't a real-life story it sure sounded like one. You did a good job in writing this everything flowed perfectly. There wasn't a bored moment. The Texas scenery and the people were great.
What a beautiful sound! For some midnight can be very distrubing and music can be the healing medicine to clam down fears. I believe I read somewhere that soft music can do wonders to bring the soul back from darkness, heartach, pain or just plain fears that this life sometimes holds. Your description of this soft melody also helps to sooth the aching soul.
Very good poem and good rhyme. I liked the story behind the poem. It was sort of refreshing!
I also liked the way you brought the wind to life in this poem.
Wow! What a beautiful moment. I can't find anything wrong with this poem. Imagery is very vivid: the boat, paddle, the lake's edge, You pushing off with the stroke of the paddle, the deer at the water's edge can be seen through the mind's eye, the sun rising and opening up the lake's majestic colors (which was my favorite view) and the phrase "Awakening life to the new day" brings feelings of new life to the reader. This is a very beautiful scene. Good writing!
I liked the philosophy of these thoughts. It sounds like it was well thought out. These are rules that all should try to live by. They made my night. There are so many selfish people in the world if they could read this, it might help to make them and others a little better. Happy Writing!
I loved your title. I never thought about love that way, but that's a perfect title for describing the fear of being in love for the first time. Thank you! Your rhyme, imagery, and words were very good too. I especially liked the first two line of stanza two:
I’ve never been this high before because I have never been in love
It’s as beautiful up here as a red rose bud
Short, but full of romantic love. The lines: "Love so True and A wealth Untold" helps the reader to see how much this person means to you and how much he or she loves you, and one can only imagine the honesty of the person's heart to you, that in turn causes you to compare the relationship to wealth. Very good!
Happy writing.
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