I liked this light hearted poem about spring. It was vivid and you could feel yourself basking in the warm weather of spring. I liked the part about the bees, flower, and nectar. Very good!
I couldn't tell if this was real or fiction. If real, I know how you feel. you have my symphathy. Loosing a child is like loosing a part of you and you really don't want to love, but as you said, "Life goes On" that's what keeps you going. Also knowing that others have experience it or is going through it makes you a little stronger. I try not to think about it, but then I feel guilty because it's like you're saying forget the person, but that isn't the case.
I then try to remember that if I make it into paradise, maybe in that day I'll see my childre again. We'll rush into one another arms happy and will be with one other forever.
The New Translation of the Holy Scriptures says, "There's going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous." Acts 24:15 and St. John 5:28-29 says "The hour is coming when all those in the memoria tombs will hear Jesus boice and come out." St. John 5:28-29. www.watchtower.org Reading these scriptures helps me and many others to cope with the death of a love one. I think they will help you too!
I love romantic poems and this one is romantic. The only problem that I have with is the ending. For example, you say:
"I know that you do not love me
as much as I love you,
And that hurts."
then in your last two lines you say:
"You have built me up from the ground,
And have made me into the woman that I am today."
I would have liked to see that last line extended with more of your second stanza "even though you don't love me as much as I love you" you have built me up from the ground and made me into the woman that I am today ..." It just seem like there should be more said than just you ending it here. But on the light side your words are heartfelt and this is a lovely poem. I'm not good at reviews, I hope I did okay.
This poem is somewhat preplexing, but I feel that it has substance. I'm just trying to find out what it is. The most that I can make out of it is that you fell in love with someone who was so wonderful that who the person was and her love and beauty was like that of an angel to you.
But then I thought, okay, maybe he's saying that he thought he had finally found true love, but all it turned out to be was angel that had to return to her place.
Next, I thought maybe his love had died and he was comparing her love, beauty, and who she was to that of an angel.
I give up! If you don't mind and I'm not being critical, would you please explain this one?
It has a nice ring to it: it's soft, natural, and romantic, but just a little bit confusing.
I liked this poem bacause a lot of us can relate to the pain of losing something dear to us. I felt the sorrow in this poem which makes you a good writer because one can feel what you're writng about.
I liked your title very much. The rest of poem was interesting, but I failed to see how it harmonized with the title. For example, I didn't feel that the boyfriend played with your heart like it was a toy. It seems that you were the one playing love games with him. Nice writing though and off to good start.
A lot of feelings in this poem.I especially liked "eden's eye" how it relates to paradise you feel when looking into those eyes. I was a little sad though to find out that this love would not be. Very good writing!
Wonderful thoughts and nicely written. Truth to your words is what made this story enjoyable to read. Life is valuable wheter you're rich or poor. I found this out from reading the Bible. I have one small suggusting. If you do a spell check after saving and reviewing your work, it'll eliminate spelling erors. I made some here, but I don't how to correct them. There is a way, I just can't think of it right now, but the spell check is at the top of page after you save and review it. This is good wrting, Good Job.
I was feeling a little until I read your poem it helped to lift my spirits. I liked it because it speaks of love and caring people which is a facet of our world today that is lacking in the hearts of people, so when I read your poem, it helped me be reminded that there are still loving and caring people in the world today and that makes my heart sing.
I rate this item a 5.0 because it could be me or someone other writer here at WDC. I liked the lighthearteness of the poem, but in all honesty, I beleive that any time any one is brave enough to put his or her thoughts down on paper in the form of poetry -be it rhyme or not, be it good imagery or not - that person is a poet.
I'm just gussing. Was this piece intended to show that Mr. Lincoln had a feminint (spelling) side or are you outright slamming him by saying that he is really a man in drag? I hope I didn't offend, but I was just wondering. Nice work.
I liked this poll because it makes you think about mankind and their destiny. Elvoutionist beleive that we will live on in another form, but I disagree with that reasoning. If only one would pick up the Bible and read it, he or she will then find out where we came from and where we're going.
This was very emotional indeed, but the last two lines gave hope of true love. I thought those two lines were very creative and they helped to ease the sadness of the stirred up empotions.
I liked this poem a lot. It sounds a lot like me only I'm much older. You did a very good job at presenting it as an emotional poem because it is that. The pain and hurt that you expressed is very vivid. It touches the heart. In line seven, I beleive "due" should be "do."
In addition, if you format the layout of this poem by shortening your sentences ( you can do this and not have to omit any words) I believe that the poem will look better on the page and the reader will be able to read it better and ( not to critize) not loose interest in the poem. That would be tradgic because I read it all the way through and it is a very nice poem and others should have a chance to read it too, but some might loose interest because of the long sentences. Other than that, you as a young person express yourself and feelings well. Good job!
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